Sex Story Time

[Ignominy]

lmao one time i had this 1983 blazer and i was fucking this bitch in the back...

ROFL MONEY great story.

I don't think mine compares to that, but it's pretty strange.

Once I was making out with this girl on her bed (she's on top), which is right next to her window. She kindof suddenly starts going down on me (you know how things usually go logically from point a to b, well she just dropped and ripped my pants open and went for it) and she was REALLY good at it, probably 2nd best head I've ever had. But anyway I'm looking up and I see her cat on top of the window curtains, and it's looking down at me like it's sizing me up to jump on me. And my mind hits this dilemma, because I don't want her to stop, but I also don't want her to get shocked and have something go terribly wrong (teeth), and so I don't make her stop in time, and the cat jumps on me from about 4-5 feet up. I catch it out of the air with both hands and it flips the fuck out and starts scratching the hell out of me. So I tell the girl to stop and do something with the cat, and she takes it out of my hands and then just out of nowhere hurls it at my face and says "I knew you were going to be like that." and storms out. So I just put on my clothes and left.

She had never done anything weird before but apparently interrupting sex was a huge issue with her. She apologized the next day, but I'd already found other things to do. I got plenty of questions about the scratches though.

EDIT: NICKNAME TELL YOUR STORY FOOL

[Voth]

I was at this chicks house (we had been friends for a long time) and we were watching a movie and before I knew it we were making out. So this was at about 11 PM and (we thought) her brother and parents were asleep for the night. Seeing as her room was downstairs and her parents and brothers rooms were upstairs, we thought we wouldn't be a disturbance. Eventually we made our way to her room and on the bed. She eventually started giving me head and jesus christ, her fucking cell phone rings. She lets it ring and continues. So about 30 seconds later, it rings again. So this stupid as mother fucking ringtone is kind of killing it, so I said just go get it. So she walks over and gets the phone, and answers it. It was one of her (and my) friends, and she (along with four other girls) told her that they're pulling into her driveway right to pick her up for a party. She says something along the lines of "Huh? Umm.. I'm not really ready for a party.." and she has this really uncomfortable look on her face. So she hangs up and she says "Put your fucking clothes on, Heather and her friends are outside!" So my boxers were at my ankles and I ran out to the living room to grab the rest of my clothes. What do you know, her fucking friend just walks in the (unlocked) front door and there I am, with nothing on but my boxers and poppin some pretty good wood. She gasps and puts her hand over her mouth, and runs outside yelling. My friend (who I was hooking up with) overheard and ran out into the living room, not even realizing that she was in a thong and (barely) in her bra. So yeah, we were pretty uncomfortable and her friends left right away without saying anything else. What an awkward moment, the whole all of our friends just walked in on us in the middle of some sexual involvement kind of killed the mood. But what else can go wrong? Right as we started talking, her big brother turns on the light to the stairs and walks down to see her, still in her thong and (barely) bra and me, in my boxers. It seems he was waken up by all of this. He says something along the lines of "What the fuck do you think you're doing to my sister?" And this guy is big, he's about 19 while I was 17 at that time and he was a big boy. I tried to explain but this really angry look never left his face so I said "I'll just leave." and he said "Yeah, I think you better get out of my sight." So I put on my pants and left. Me and the girl still contact eachother, except we're both away at college in different parts of the state, but yeah. Not only walked in on by our friends, but her big mean brother.

[Money]

ok, I laughed at that one, nicely done Money




Ok, I had actually typed out what happened to me, read it back once and instantly deleted it.

haha lets see it

[Money]

I was at this chicks house (we had been friends for a long time) and we were watching a movie and before I knew it we were making out. So this was at about 11 PM and (we thought) her brother and parents were asleep for the night. Seeing as her room was downstairs and her parents and brothers rooms were upstairs, we thought we wouldn't be a disturbance. Eventually we made our way to her room and on the bed. She eventually started giving me head and jesus christ, her fucking cell phone rings. She lets it ring and continues. So about 30 seconds later, it rings again. So this stupid as mother fucking ringtone is kind of killing it, so I said just go get it. So she walks over and gets the phone, and answers it. It was one of her (and my) friends, and she (along with four other girls) told her that they're pulling into her driveway right to pick her up for a party. She says something along the lines of "Huh? Umm.. I'm not really ready for a party.." and she has this really uncomfortable look on her face. So she hangs up and she says "Put your fucking clothes on, Heather and her friends are outside!" So my boxers were at my ankles and I ran out to the living room to grab the rest of my clothes. What do you know, her fucking friend just walks in the (unlocked) front door and there I am, with nothing on but my boxers and poppin some pretty good wood. She gasps and puts her hand over her mouth, and runs outside yelling. My friend (who I was hooking up with) overheard and ran out into the living room, not even realizing that she was in a thong and (barely) in her bra. So yeah, we were pretty uncomfortable and her friends left right away without saying anything else. What an awkward moment, the whole all of our friends just walked in on us in the middle of some sexual involvement kind of killed the mood. But what else can go wrong? Right as we started talking, her big brother turns on the light to the stairs and walks down to see her, still in her thong and (barely) bra and me, in my boxers. It seems he was waken up by all of this. He says something along the lines of "What the fuck do you think you're doing to my sister?" And this guy is big, he's about 19 while I was 17 at that time and he was a big boy. I tried to explain but this really angry look never left his face so I said "I'll just leave." and he said "Yeah, I think you better get out of my sight." So I put on my pants and left. Me and the girl still contact eachother, except we're both away at college in different parts of the state, but yeah. Not only walked in on by our friends, but her big mean brother.

you should have asked heather and them to join.

[Liquid Blue]

I was at this chicks house (we had been friends for a long time) and we were watching a movie and before I knew it we were making out. So this was at about 11 PM and (we thought) her brother and parents were asleep for the night. Seeing as her room was downstairs and her parents and brothers rooms were upstairs, we thought we wouldn't be a disturbance. Eventually we made our way to her room and on the bed. She eventually started giving me head and jesus christ, her fucking cell phone rings. She lets it ring and continues. So about 30 seconds later, it rings again. So this stupid as mother fucking ringtone is kind of killing it, so I said just go get it. So she walks over and gets the phone, and answers it. It was one of her (and my) friends, and she (along with four other girls) told her that they're pulling into her driveway right to pick her up for a party. She says something along the lines of "Huh? Umm.. I'm not really ready for a party.." and she has this really uncomfortable look on her face. So she hangs up and she says "Put your fucking clothes on, Heather and her friends are outside!" So my boxers were at my ankles and I ran out to the living room to grab the rest of my clothes. What do you know, her fucking friend just walks in the (unlocked) front door and there I am, with nothing on but my boxers and poppin some pretty good wood. She gasps and puts her hand over her mouth, and runs outside yelling. My friend (who I was hooking up with) overheard and ran out into the living room, not even realizing that she was in a thong and (barely) in her bra. So yeah, we were pretty uncomfortable and her friends left right away without saying anything else. What an awkward moment, the whole all of our friends just walked in on us in the middle of some sexual involvement kind of killed the mood. But what else can go wrong? Right as we started talking, her big brother turns on the light to the stairs and walks down to see her, still in her thong and (barely) bra and me, in my boxers. It seems he was waken up by all of this. He says something along the lines of "What the fuck do you think you're doing to my sister?" And this guy is big, he's about 19 while I was 17 at that time and he was a big boy. I tried to explain but this really angry look never left his face so I said "I'll just leave." and he said "Yeah, I think you better get out of my sight." So I put on my pants and left. Me and the girl still contact eachother, except we're both away at college in different parts of the state, but yeah. Not only walked in on by our friends, but her big mean brother.

Oh man that sucks shit, my best friend's little sister is 17 now and I've known her since she was 12- if I ever caught some dude with her like that he'd be in trouble :fear:

[genocidal]

NOT FAMILY-FRIENDLY

[Money]

Come On Nickname U Gonna Get Us To Tell Our Stories And I Typed Mine Out And Didnt Think It Was That Funny But Now The More I Read It I Lmao At Myself Lol Come On Urs Cant Be That Bad U Cant Tease Us Like That!!

[PolluX]

Maybe his story isn't that cool

[Kawrae]

He couldn't get his willy up.

[duel pasta]

ok now my story..

Okay so i was at my girfriends house and we were watching a movie and the movie ended and i was like 'ok yay party time' but then she just said 'i'm tired, gave me a little kiss and just turned away and tried to sleep'

GG!

I bet she tried deepthroat and throwed up

[Zeebu]

so there i was, balls deep, doin this girl form behind and she turns around and was like "are you in yet" and i was like "baby, i been doen for 5 minutes"

ok no to that one, but i did leave a funny one on the forums not long ago from a time in college... maybe i'll go search for it

found it

we had an intercom system in every room in my fraternity house when i was in college. i think this was maybe sophomore year or so. every room in the house is lofted, so i was up there balls deep behind a girl i had met at a party the weekend before.

well, i got the "sex police" called in on me.

sex police = people screaming on the intercom your room followed by a barrage of people entering the room and yelling snide things and throwing random things up in the loft... nothing that would hurt anyone, jsut tryign to be dicks about it.

well, i was pissed so i got down and ran out of my loft caught one of my brothers and smacked him around a bit. i then went back to my room to continue where i left off. i was still naked wearing the condom, but she had got down and was getting dressed to leave.

she never called me back =(

[Nickname]

these are just funny, not embaressing. The guys at my work did do the crazyest place contest, my one buddy one with 'sick kids hospital' (his daughter was 1, and he nailed the wife 1 room down with nurses coming in every 5 minutes) number 2 was a mausoleum (crypt). I've had something similar to Igno (cats hate me, they always go after my head...even if i'm standing) and i've had polls bug bite situation (though never blatantly on the front lawn)

[Nickname]

gonna need better stories to drag it out of me.

[Pummel]

gonna need better stories to drag it out of me.

Selfish ass.

[Scurvy]

craziest places: Darkroom (during class, senior year in highschool), Tent (that we were sharing with 3-4 friends), dressing room in mall, movie theater.

this isnt a 'crazy story' persay, but more of a fantasy come true. i had a studio project due for photo class, so i approached a friend who i'd always had some sort of interest in and asked her to model for it. she agreed immediately and was very excited about make up, what she would wear, etc. so i end up setting up my lighting, tripod, etc, in my apartment and have her come over with her 'equipment.' instead of starting right away we sit and chat and have a few drinks to get her loosened up. (obviously most girls are slightly apprehensive about hopping in front of a camera.) so we decided to get started and shes not drunk, but certainly much more enthusiastic at this point. i fiddle around with my lights and camera while she goes to change, and she comes out in this ridiculously low cut black dress, stark red lipstick, ridiculously dramatic eye makeup, and thigh high black stockings..I had requested the makeup for the purose of the shoot, but she apparently had decided to throw herself into the role of the model. we start off and i shoot a few rolls and get some nice pics, and she gradually starts putting herself in more suggestive poses. i'll spare extreme details, but it ends up being more of an amature erotica photoshoot, and then a long night of not so amature fun.