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For some reason I feel like I've posted about this before, but I did a search on all the threads I started, and I can't find it anywhere.
I've got a friend/"friend" that I've known since high school. This kid is really really nerdy and doesn't fit in in very many social situations, but hanging out with him one on one or in a small group is always okay, he's a bright kid and we usually have interesting conversations. In the past (read: several years ago), it was fine, occasionally he'd call me up when he was bored, I'd go over there and play video games, we'd have a fine time, but he was very aware that he didn't really fit in so well with my friends, and since he had his own, he was never around at parties and stuff. He moved away for a couple years, and now he's back, but his friends aren't.
The problem is, this kid now thinks we (and most of my other friends) are good friends, and we really aren't. I don't mind hanging out with just him, but at a party or a bar, the kid is just endlessly irritating. He really isn't capable of having a conversation that's more than one on one, and all of my other friends (especially my girlfriend) really can't stand the guy. So what he does to make up for his awkwardness is be really overbearing and loud with the two or three people that don't just completely blow him off (one of them being me). He's always putting his hand on my shoulder and talking really loudly in my face about the most party-inappropriate shit. The kid calls me all the time, also, and I'm pretty good at making up excuses, but I feel bad for just flat-out lying to him about what I'm doing.
I've tried saying "hey dude, calm down, back off." I've gotten so frustrated that I ended up being pretty much openly mean to him when he's talking about stuff that's just totally inappropriate for a party (his insanely liberal views about immigration policy for instance) but he just doesn't get it. The signs are all there for him to notice, entire rooms clearing out the second he starts on a stupid rant about shit nobody cares about, people ignoring his calls for weeks at a time, etc, but he still doesn't get it. Anyone else had an experience like this? I want to sit him down and be like "look man, I've got some issues here" but I don't know what good that could do given that the signs are all there in the first place and he's still shown no initiative to try to fit in.
edit: it's not that talking about politics is that inappropriate, but he's so black and white about it. you can't just assume a room full of people agrees with your pseudo-socialist bullshit, it's one thing to say your opinion, but at a party he'll be like "i just dont see how anyone can think ____" and it's just really not cool.
I've got a friend/"friend" that I've known since high school. This kid is really really nerdy and doesn't fit in in very many social situations, but hanging out with him one on one or in a small group is always okay, he's a bright kid and we usually have interesting conversations. In the past (read: several years ago), it was fine, occasionally he'd call me up when he was bored, I'd go over there and play video games, we'd have a fine time, but he was very aware that he didn't really fit in so well with my friends, and since he had his own, he was never around at parties and stuff. He moved away for a couple years, and now he's back, but his friends aren't.
The problem is, this kid now thinks we (and most of my other friends) are good friends, and we really aren't. I don't mind hanging out with just him, but at a party or a bar, the kid is just endlessly irritating. He really isn't capable of having a conversation that's more than one on one, and all of my other friends (especially my girlfriend) really can't stand the guy. So what he does to make up for his awkwardness is be really overbearing and loud with the two or three people that don't just completely blow him off (one of them being me). He's always putting his hand on my shoulder and talking really loudly in my face about the most party-inappropriate shit. The kid calls me all the time, also, and I'm pretty good at making up excuses, but I feel bad for just flat-out lying to him about what I'm doing.
I've tried saying "hey dude, calm down, back off." I've gotten so frustrated that I ended up being pretty much openly mean to him when he's talking about stuff that's just totally inappropriate for a party (his insanely liberal views about immigration policy for instance) but he just doesn't get it. The signs are all there for him to notice, entire rooms clearing out the second he starts on a stupid rant about shit nobody cares about, people ignoring his calls for weeks at a time, etc, but he still doesn't get it. Anyone else had an experience like this? I want to sit him down and be like "look man, I've got some issues here" but I don't know what good that could do given that the signs are all there in the first place and he's still shown no initiative to try to fit in.
edit: it's not that talking about politics is that inappropriate, but he's so black and white about it. you can't just assume a room full of people agrees with your pseudo-socialist bullshit, it's one thing to say your opinion, but at a party he'll be like "i just dont see how anyone can think ____" and it's just really not cool.
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