How do you know when to break off a relationship?

[Blood]

that's bullshit, even if I was 60 I'd rather be alone than hate myself for being with someone I didn't like.

I was referring to sticking to a relationship that obviously still has hope.. not something doomed.

[Blood]

When I came back, I were ready to pick it up exactly where we left off, and to forget the time we were apart. However, because of her choise, she's having issues and we have to rebuild alot of our relationship. By we, I mean mostly me, as she seems uninterested in the point of doing anything with it, except saying that she wants to be with me and that it will go over by itself. She's adamant about this, that she wants us to be together, and that it will work out when we get home.

She wants to be home in the summer? Fine, I can live with that.
When I finally get vacation I rush straight to her, and she just sits there and does nothing to show that we're in a relationship. Except saying that it's temporary and she never wants to leave me.

Don't necessarily take me seriously, but the way you're describing your girlfriend here describes me pretty well when I'm undecided about breaking up a relationship but too frustrated to act normal..

[Noah]

Don't necessarily take me seriously, but the way you're describing your girlfriend here describes me pretty well when I'm undecided about breaking up a relationship but too frustrated to act normal..

I've considered that, and asked her about it too. She said firmly that it was temporarily, and that when we got home it will be fine.
I've even suggested that we should split up, but she didn't want to at all.

If she has been lying about that, and is going to break up, then I'll be more pissed than upset. We've always had a very open relationship, and been able to talk pretty well through hard periods.

[Cops]

If you guys have had a good standing relationship then she she's probably open about her feelings and intentions, if she said the problems were momentary then it's nothing to sweat. If she's going to act on something that she said was fine three or four months down the road then you're probably better off without her. I had this girl want to break up with me at a party then tell me that she loved me all in a matter of twenty minutes, it's probably good to remember how good your relationship can be at times. I have the advantage of having a past relationship with a person who was childish, immature, a cunt and over all a waste of fucking time, and if you think I'm being harsh I'm sure Kolar would completely back me up.

[Ephemeral]

Do some research on human relationships and you will find that they go through an evolution. The hot and heavy romantic phase never lasts more than the first 24 months. Researcher believe that this sexual behavior is something that we do as a part of evolution, the drive that is seen as important procreation mechanism.
But a deeper bond usually takes root towards the end of the first phase and this is when it becomes clearer if the close relationship is going to move forward. Rather than simply having good sex as the commonality for intimacy, other relational aspects, such as trust, honesty and consideration, begin to define what the two people mean to each other. It is these attributes that will determine if the relationship will mature. This is not to say that the sex in the relationship stops or slows down, but rather that the sex is now accompanied with these deeper bonds.

When you see or hear a person talking about their relationship and it only sounds like “oh she is hot and we fuck like rabbits”, you can bet that the deeper bonds have not yet developed. Once you hear things like “she is my best friend’, it usually indicates that the relationship has matured. A key attribute is the ability for each person to believe that the relationship is ‘fair’, that neither is getting the shorter end of the stick. (This is the number one reason for divorces, most people who get divorced say they still love one another.)

So in my opinion, ask yourself if she is your best friend. Is she willing to be your best friend? Are both of you willing to do whatever it takes for the other person to be happy? Are each of you willing make large sacrifices for each other? Think carefully about the willingness to care for each other even if the superficial looks were changed (like being disfigured from an accident) because as you grow older the ‘looks’ become much less important.

[Doc Flabby]

A great flabby once said:

"Don't give up a single diamond unless you can replace it with one of higher quality"

[Cops]

every diamond is unique, none are the same, nor is each valued the same to each person.

[Astrogirl]

A great flabby once said:

Quote:
"Don't give up a single diamond unless you can replace it with one of higher quality"

Yah whatever happened to being grateful and happy with what you have. I think you're just a whiney little procrastinator trying to distract yourself with drama, something you need to address about yourself that you put off justifying lazyness with social attention. And are fortunatly not more then a brief sentance of analyzation.

Consider the alternative possibilities:
spreading yourself thin from dating too many unknowables, no one who "gets" you, eventually you're 40 and single (which is even more unattractive then just being a spoiled and fragile geek) and lets not forget all the stds and unplanned pregnancies.

(self):
be able to spend your life with someone you knows you more than any other individual.

I'll end with my number one most favorite quote of all time. Which fits ever so ironicly perfect for your little scenerio.

"Consider your own lives," said Mustapha Mond. "Has any of you ever encountered an insurmountable obstacle?" (refering to civilization grown from a test tube)
-Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

and for all you non-literates, it fits because the entire book is a perspective on how our general society is less attached to the intangable meanings, depths and possibilites and has completly surcumed to the distracting whims of shallow instant gratifications.

[Galleleo]

That is one positive outlook for you right there.

[RednaZ]

Bunch of nonsense

Back to your kitchen woman!

[pascone]

having the same problem here noah. Yeah it sucks ass, especially during the summer because I'm guessing you did everything with her and pretty much blew off your other friends for the most part? Ive been with mine only about a year and we just recently took a break. We talk everyday and we are starting to hang out again, I just don't know if I should waste my time with her doing all this and we might not get back together.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL URSULA

[DankNuggets]

wow i would never apply Brave New World to any relationship unless you are some sort of sci-fi/lit. freak. it all depends on what you want to do, whether you like doing it or not. i once saw in a dear abby (it's next to the comics, i wasn't looking for it) a question about a relationship in which one person felt like they were doing the bulk of the work, but still loved the person they were with. Abby simply said that it doesn't really matter if one person does more than the other for the relationship as long as both people still want to be in the relationship. sounds kinda morbid, like i'll do everything for someone only to never get anything in return, but it's true. if you want to be with this girl, it shouldn't matter in the long run if you do most of the work.

[Doc Flabby]

every diamond is unique, none are the same, nor is each valued the same to each person.

Quote:
Yah whatever happened to being grateful and happy with what you have.

It never existed. People always want something more. We are never satisfied with what we have. once we get what we want, we start looking for more. Even if decide we won't pursue something doesnt mean we dont want it.

The grass IS always greener, what defines us as people is at what point do we think "this isn't such a good idea" or "this would be wrong" and decide not to do something we want.

[Cops]

Quote:

"Consider your own lives," said Mustapha Mond. "Has any of you ever encountered an insurmountable obstacle?" (refering to civilization grown from a test tube)
-Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

and for all you non-literates, it fits because the entire book is a perspective on how our general society is less attached to the intangable meanings, depths and possibilites and has completly surcumed to the distracting whims of shallow instant gratifications.

I think I need to re-read Brave New World, it's been almost two years.

[Cops]

"Don't give up a single diamond unless you can replace it with one of higher quality"

Relationships aren't like cars or jobs. If you're waiting for something better to come along then you're missing the simple pleasures that relationships have to offer, you're not living in the moment nor are you allowing yourself to be happy.