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PC and Xbox 360: Two Worlds Reviewed!

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  • PC and Xbox 360: Two Worlds Reviewed!

    Worst. Game. Ever.

    I just rented it. I knew I was in for a bad game when it started out with Icelandic Opera Metal over an enchanted, poorly designed valley.

    Graphics: 3/10. It's better than ... Pong. Wait no ... no it's not.
    Sound: 7/10. At least they put a soundtrack effort with original orchestral stuff, besides the Icelandic Opera Metal.
    Gameplay: 1/10. It's a shit load of fuck, a fuck load of shit.
    Controls: 5/10. They do stuff when you touch things! Is it the stuff you want them to do? Maybe.
    Overall Ranking: Ass sandwich

    Special Note: It looks like the animator and hit detection guys were a little too "high class" for this design team. The animations are balls and cut out half way through, so it looks like a crappy stop-animation film done by an 8 year old. The hit detection.... it's like this. You swing your sword and it misses completely, because you only have two swinging motions, and the guy gets hit. You hit him, nothing happens, you're too close at times, or it just doesn't even know what you're doing.

    Summary: Two Worlds needs to be buried next to E.T.

    If you need a visual representation, here's a pile of shit for you.
    DELETED

  • #2
    I've heard it's quite entertaining if you take it for what it is: A terrible game.

    Apparently the voice acting is often quite hilarious.
    USS Banana after years of superior jav play has amassed 17999 kills, he is 1 kill away from 18k, Type ?go Javs FOR A GAME OF HUNT (no scorereset) -Kim
    ---A few minutes later---
    9:cool koen> you scorereseted
    9:Kim> UM
    9:Kim> i didn't
    9:cool koen> hahahahahahaha
    9:ph <ZH>> LOOOOL
    9:Stargazer <ER>> WHO FUCKING SCORERESET
    9:pascone> lol?

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    • #3
      Worst Game Ever = Lair. I played it a bit today with some friends that work at a GameStop, holy shit does that thing stink of the foul asterisk on the end of a cow. The lock-on scheme doesn't let you choose what it locks onto, and the SIXAXIS controls blow so much horse cock it makes Tijuana look classy.
      Originally posted by Jeenyuss
      sometimes i thrust my hips so my flaccid dick slaps my stomach, then my taint, then my stomach, then my taint. i like the sound.

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      • #4
        I read about that, lol. Lair was PS3's big dog going into the Holiday season and it tanked horribly.

        ... it looks good, at least, I'll give it that.

        Factor 5 should go back to Star Wars.
        DELETED

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