spider is sad/people bash ward/galleleo says something random as shit: the thread

[Spider]

It's over. I called her right after I sent the email because I didn't want it to look like I was just being a coward. I assumed she wouldn't answer and I was just going to leave a message but she answered. We talked and it's over. She could hardly hide her glee that it's finally over. Which is a bit of a slap in the face coming from the one person in this world that's ever claimed to love me (and for two years no less). So she knew me pretty well and was still happy to get rid of me. Oh well. Whatever. Spider's life, chapter 2. I'll keep you posted. Just don't expect me to getting any action in the next 5 years.

I was seriously assuming this was over, and was prepared for that. I wasn't trying to keep her. I have no business in trying to keep someone who doesn't want to be with me. I don't even want to be with someone like that. I wouldn't say I'd rather be alone, but when I'm sure I'm going to be in a few months anyway, why not pull the trigger?

[Noah]

You just got out of jail, enjoy it.

[megaman89]

if your going to pull any trigger make sure the the barrel is pointing in her mouth. Seriously she was HAPPY? when you ended it? How can you put up with that shit? I'd go over there and fucking bitch her out so bad in front of everyone, do it while shes at dinner or lunch. She put you through all this and your emotionally wrecked and your going to be nice to her? Wow spider, please be a man.

[Facetious]

Awesome. Although expecting to leave a message damaged your karma, the fact that you talked to her will improve it. You've gotta stop thinking in the way that you do though, or else you won't find a girlfriend. No matter how lame you are, there are girls who are equally (or even more) lame that can make you quite happy. Running around thinking "I'm never going to get a girlfriend" is not nearly as effective as looking around in every situation and figuring out which girls look bored and trying to talk to them, and then just seeing where it goes.

[Spawnisen]

I wish you the best in all of your endeavours Spider.

[genocidal]

I'm feeling kind of charitable and I'm at work so since the deed is done I'll provide some consolation to an internet person I don't know.

I dated a girl for 5 years and we broke up 8 months ago. I know people will tell you this and you won't believe it but it really has been the best 8 months of my life - and it can be of yours too. I'm only 21 so 5 years is a long time (you don't have shit on me). I barely even remembered what it was like to be single. In fact, the last time I took a girl on a date other than my girlfriend I got the drunk driving speech from a concerned Dad and I was just barely 16 years old. While I did get used to having a best friend/girlfriend combination and generally doing shit in pairs I finally fucking realized that I'm not 50 years old and doing shit by yourself is better anyway. I've got so much more time now and I can flirt with and hook up with girls without feeling like a terrible person the next day now.

If this whore was fucking happy to break up you really need to take some of the advice in this thread and give the bitch something to cry about. Hurt her feelings, it will make you feel better. I'm not just saying this because I'm an asshole (in fact, I go out of my way to be very nice to my ex because I feel terrible about some of the things I did in our relationship) but because it's sound advice.

You're single now, look out for number 1 and nothing else. You need to get a little more egomaniacal and mean. Girls like mean guys. I can't explain it dude, it's just the way the world works.

So here's my checklist to success (and I'm an expert):

1) Call her up and make her cry. Be creative, you dated her for two years so I know that you know her pressure points. Maybe she's uncomfortable about her weight or intelligence. Pick something and tear into her. You'll feel better and she'll finally feel bad about treating you like shit.

2) Join a club/group/church/anything that's somewhat social. Hell take a dance class. Do something where you're forced to meet a lot more people. I'm sure you have your own friends but now that you've freed up some time you need to meet some more people. Who knows, you may get lucky and get your dick sucked. Just don't talk about your ex ever especially to women.

3) Don't talk to your ex after you make her cry at all. If you must, wait at least 6 months before you answer any phone calls (for God's sake, don't call her). If you really want to in 6 months you'll hopefully have the right perspective to do so and she'll realize how unnecessary she is to you, which only makes girls want you more.

4) This is the most important: don't let yourself do anything stupid like get into another relationship soon. If you're not enjoying being single then you're doing it wrong. You don't need some cunt to make yourself feel good or needed or not lonely. It may be tempting because more girls may want to date you than you think. When I broke up with my girlfriend a lot of my friends that were female began to show interest I guess because a long relationship makes you look stable or something. Be wary, and don't be too nice. Knock 'em and drop 'em.

5) You're going to have to do it eventually so you might as well start soon. Actively pursue women. It sucks waiting for them to come to you and nobody is that much the man unless you're an athlete or millionaire. I've found myself doing things I thought I'd never do (like going to clubs) with women. Make it a goal to fuck some random whore within a month of the breakup. You may not feel better, but you sure as hell won't feel worse.

[Noah]

Gen is giving you some good tips here.

Do not call her now. You've played the ball out of your half as well as you were able to. Let her know how serious you are about this. Even if she calls you in a few days crying and wants to undo the break up, don't let it happen. Continue to push a hard line on this, even if you want her back more than anything. Do not go back on what you have done, stay strong.

I almost went soft on myself when I told my girlfriend this weekend when I said that I saw us going nowhere as things are today. I really wanted to just comfort her, and myself right there and then to make it easier. From past experience, this only works like pissing your pants. Works best right there and then, and later you'll regret it. Even tho it hurt me like hell to keep it strict, I stuck to what I said. Maybe she will understand how serious I am this time, because this is the first time I've actually stuck to my balls the entire run (we've had similar stuff coming up a few times earlier, and I've quit too soon). Even if she doesn't, and that this fails, I feel good about it now. Right there and then I were able to keep my cool and think about the emotional shit I've been through because of this relationship the last period, rather than how painful it was to stick being stern.

At this stage of life, you are in a relationship because it makes your life better. You owe no person anything, and there are limits for the pain you should accept.

Hopefully, if my relationship fails I'll be able to stick to what gen said in his post 4). Right now the thought of being alone in those times I've had her to comfort me and be around, is scaring the shit out of me.

I started to write this to you, but it turned out in some self therapy thing. I don't know what the fuck to do right now.

Anyway, stay strong, and tune in to the forums to keep your strength up, I'm guessing you're in a world of shit right now. Good luck with it.

[genocidal]

I'll amend somewhat the point about not talking to her for a couple of reasons. First, I don't think it's going to be possible for Spider to just quit talking to her altogether; that's not his fault only though it's just hard to do that when you're close to someone. Second, it's a very dick move and I'd only even try to do it if you really are pissed at her for treating you poorly.

Just make sure that when you do talk to your ex the conversation doesn't last more than a few minutes and half the time when she calls you should be busy (and if you aren't, lie and say you have to go).

[Eric is God]

I don't know, based on past experience an email breakup might be best. Ever have a girl wrap herself around your legs and refuse to let you leave, sobbing, for 4 HOURS!? But everyone is probably right, in person is best and go for something in between what you did and what CrvenBan suggested. The earlier you go through this the faster you will build up your resiliance to the emotional roller coaster that is life.

[Bioture]

well... do it in person. And try not to let that little ball of rage inside of you blow up and ruin the mediocre friendship that could result from this if you play your cards right.

it's never an easy road to hurting someone. heart wounds are the worst and is also the cause of an oversaturated creative writing market, and for the Hot Topic stock increase.

[Eric is God]

As many people have pointed out, seriously and (I hope) sarcastically, anger is the best motivater in life. Get pissed off, at her or even at yourself, but get angry! The last thing you want is to get into a self loathing state of mind, where you exaggerate the negatives and completely ignore the positives. Stay that way for long enough and the world will pass you by because you let it.

[megaman89]

well... do it in person. And try not to let that little ball of rage inside of you blow up and ruin the mediocre friendship that could result from this if you play your cards right.

Let the rage blow up. Your not going to want to just be her friend after you were literally attached to the hip with her. You being just her friend now? Your feelings for her are way to strong to "just be friends." If you keep talking to her your just gonna keep liking her more and more and then what if she decides to move on quick and get a new boyfriend? you will be hurting again.

Don't listen to bioture. Tell this bitch the fuck off. I remember you talking about facebook and shit. If your a shy guy start talking to girls on there it's not hard. Just flip out on her and it will make you feel so much better instead of thinking of the "good times" and all the memories. Believe me. and listen to Gen

goodluck

[Epinephrine]

I agree with those people who said, hurt her as much as she's hurt you. Maybe more.

Don't do it in a stupid way. I had a friend who broke up with his psycho gf, and she sent him all these 'relationship for dummies' books for months over the mail.

Do it properly. Push her buttons, tell her she's going to fail in life, and that girls, especially asian ones don't get good jobs from her program. This is fact. Ruin her. Let it all out. Don't go into how she's made you feel bad or whatever. She obviously don't care about you... just make her feel bad.

If you don't let these things out now, you will regret it later when you just keep thinking that you are a human punching bag, always taking but never giving it.

[Bioture]

fuck you guys are some vindictive little bastards.

[Spider]

I don't think at this point we are even going to be friends. I don't have to worry about this stuff. It's just over. She lives far away, and there is just nothing more to it. I don't expect her to ask to come back to me, and I don't expect her to want to be friends. I don't want to be friends, either. It's an insult to have someone who is supposed to love you say they just kinda think you're a good guy. I don't intend to go there. I have other friends, I don't need the girl that ditched me and lives in Toronto anyway.

I still don't see the problem with having tried to be nice and civil with her though. I think, judging by the response in this thread, how nicely and easily I allowed this break up to happen makes me pretty world class. I'll find someone else. I think she made a mistake, we were good for each other. But there is nothing I can do about that now.