date rape, abortions, and DUI's

[Jerome Scuggs]

this month has been pretty crazy

[Noah]

I'm all for that shit!

[Jerome Scuggs]

ok so yesterday i was multi-tasking in the form of taking a shit while applying salicylic acid to a small wart that had formed on my wrist near my watch. anyways the phone rang and i moved to get it (if you haven't already assumed it, i was high btw) and the small bottle i was holding tipped and spilled. i didn't notice it till i started smelling that strong smell, and i look down and i see it on my boxers and my pants, and i'm like damn, that sucks.

then i feel this tingling sensation on my genitals and i look down in horror to find that it has also spilled all over my penis. more specifically, the top half, which for you non-biology majors out there, is also the most sensitive half.

from the bottle spilling to me noticing it was on my dick was all of about 5 seconds, and as soon as my mind comprehended all of that, i quickly grabbed a towel, some soap, and some water and wrapped my junk up. about this time i also fall to my knees in severe, blinding pain and i just sit there until my girlfriend comes home to find me half naked, pants down, in the fetal position on the floor holding a towel to my dick.

i've scoped my goods out since and there's no real damage or injury, the towel/soap/water combo worked pretty well. but jesus fuck, i have never experienced that much pain.

[Jerome Scuggs]

two weeks ago i had smoked the last of a softpack of kool's (i went menthol like 4 months ago) but, once again i was high or drunk or something and i held the pack up to look into it to see if there was a cigarette, and when i tilted it up the loose tobacco in the bottom fell out of the pack and right into my eye. if you've ever dipped and you know of the tingling/burning sensation you get when you first dip... multiply that feeling by like three thousand, add hot sauce, and then imagine it in YOUR EYE. it hurt so bad.

[DoTheFandango]

one time I was dipping Skoal CHerry (I was 17) and thought I could double-lip.

I ended up puking outside my old elementary school.

how are you scuggs?

[disorder]

someone's gonna need viagra and laser corrective surgery by 30

one time i found a spray bottle of whiteboard washer thinking it was water and sprayed it twice into my mouth. the bottom of my tongue was scathed like french toast & it hurt.

[paradise!]

Dip is for anyone who's looking to get bad breath and stained teeth, all the while enjoying it though, through a tough addiction.

[Ilya]

one time i ate this homegrown tomato and it was so good

[Squeezer]

Dip is for anyone who's looking to get bad breath and stained teeth, all the while enjoying it though, through a tough addiction.

not only do you sound stupid, but also really boring.

[Galleleo]

Squeez, you are talking about Paradise, stop expecting too much.

[Epinephrine]

one time i ate this homegrown tomato and it was so good

I've only had homegrown cherry tomatoes

[gran guerrero]

Yeah well my backyard has a star fruit tree ilya

it's got nothing now though

[Ilya]

i love homegrown fruits/veggies. i planted 2 tomato plants, and they're really big, have lots of tomatoes on them but the majority of them are still green, but really big.



this was my first, had 1 more since then. the smell is so powerful and it's so much sweater than store bought tomatoes. i'm thinking about doing 3 plants next season and maybe using some miracle grow.. i just planted them without any additives, and theres about 13 tomatoes growing on it now, and i saw someone who uses miracle grow and theirs is huge.

might do blue/raspberries too

star fruit looks interesting.. what's it taste like?

[DoTheFandango]

Star Fruit is fucking awesome.

[gran guerrero]

it's like a cross between an orange and a lemon

with a nice fruity taste

an old persian woman took some of ours and made this honey out of it. was pretty sweet.