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  • itt harrowing pizza stories

    Alright, so I posted a thread some six or seven months ago about my new job as a pizza delivery driver. I work at a small store, so the majority of our consumers are businesses and people who don't mind spending a bit more for better pizza. I've read stories from other delivery drivers, usually at places like domino's, and they rack up more weird stories in a week than I could in six months. Anyways, I just had a weird experience and I will post about it, when I get off work and on a computer I will post more stories from the time I've had working here.

    This story begins in 2006, on my graduation night. We pulled up to the place and parked next to a flashy, graphics-covered escalade promoting "Yockie Joe", a local rapper.

    Two years later, I started buying dope from a dude who lived above me. He said he got it from Joe, and even took me to the new studio that Yockie had built in an effort to "put Shreveport on a map".

    Anyways, an hour ago we got a delivery call to the Hilton hotel downtown. I always love going there, I've delivered pizza to James Marsden and Edward Norton there. And the dude whoim pretty sure plays that Aussie guy on House.

    I get there, and at the front I was greeted by a huge black dude wearing the worst fucking plaid blazer ever, and he orders me to follow him. I assumed he was part of the staff. We get into the elevator, and he goes to scratch his nose and as he does, his jacket reveals not one but two fucking Glocks, in holsters. I immediately get super freaked out, but I also figured hey, I'm not getting robbed at a hotel. (I'll tell the story about egan street later.)

    We get out of the elevator, and proceed to walk slowly down to room 808. The dude is seriously walking riiiiiiight behind me. I'm pretty sure he could smell the fear. I go to knock on the door andthe dude lunges at me, and I squeezed out a small turdball before he said hold up... And proceeded to knock on the door in a particular fashion while saying "it's cool, it's cool." I hear shuffling, and the door opens, and... It's yockie joe, and he is fucked up. Either that, or the nearly diagonal lean he had was due to the chains on his neck weighing hundreds of pounds. He asks me how much he owes me, and proceeds to start pulling out twenties. After the third twenty, he asked me what he had given me. (the order was twenty four bucks.) I told him, again, that it was twenty four, and he takes two twenties back, fishes out a five, and gives it to me. He then gave me a dollar... Another dollar... Another... Asked me if that enough. I told him the price again, and he just said "fuck it, keep it", grabbed his pizza, and walked inside. The bodyguard (I assume) then closed the door and informed me that "Corey" wasn't feeling well. I told him I knewit was yockie, and he was pretty surprised. We started talking about yockie, k-pistol, etc until he declared that I was the coolest whiteboy ever. Asked me my name - Andrew, irl - and yelled "drew!" "drew doooowwnn!". At this point I nervously told him he packed some good heat (when my dad is out of town, my mother sleeps with mace in one hand and a glock in another. If you only knew her, she is adorable.) he then stopped and told me not to ever mention his guns, or he would find me and kill me.

    I guess this post means I have a death warrant.
    NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

    internet de la jerome

    because the internet | hazardous

  • #2
    Good thing everyone has guns so you won't die cause you can protect yourself!



    I've said a similar line to someone before and got a similar response.
    Epinephrine's History of Trench Wars:
    www.geocities.com/epinephrine.rm

    My anime blog:
    www.animeslice.com

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    • #3
      hey bro,

      you delivered pizza to edward norton? that sounds pretty cool. i tsounds like you might get tipped well too

      i got a job at domino's delivering 2 months ago,

      not that much exciting stuff happens to me, maybe i do not act personable enough. one time last week one of the customers called back my cell phone at 2am. i didnt notice until the next morning and as the customer was a woman i took this as a good sign. i typed her phone # into google and the first link was to her ad in an escort classifieds, including inappropriate pictures of her.

      here is one of her ads.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqulzpE3xtI

      i never called her back...
      Last edited by PH; 10-05-2009, 12:51 PM.
      Condom> sometimes I lose on purpose just to remember what it feels like

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      • #4
        so how much was your tip for that pizza?
        it makes me sick when i think of it, all my heroes could not live with it so i hope you rest in peace cause with us you never did

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        • #5
          And just when he thought you were cool huh?
          (Twerp and Duel Pasta)
          5:dads revenge> they are both actually my virtual pet salamanders I have to feed them virtual flies 3 times a day

          1: Pandagirl!> What do I say back to that
          1: Pandagirl!> How about "lol"
          1: winipcfg> despite "lol"'s versatility, I don't think that'd be good in the situation

          If you can't beat them, eat them. ?go zombies3 - Chao <ER>

          Ricko> mvp gets poppadums from weak's corner shop

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Jerome Scuggs View Post

            At this point I nervously told him he packed some good heat (when my dad is out of town, my mother sleeps with mace in one hand and a glock in another. If you only knew her, she is adorable.) he then stopped and told me not to ever mention his guns, or he would find me and kill me.

            I guess this post means I have a death warrant.
            haha, why is your mom so afraid? Like your dad will stop every criminal that tries to enter your house.

            are you talking about this big black guy, with his white shirt??

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            • #7
              thts crazy lol
              PUNCH SLOW WALKING PEOPLE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by soupero View Post
                haha, why is your mom so afraid? Like your dad will stop every criminal that tries to enter your house.

                are you talking about this big black guy, with his white shirt??

                My mother is a social worker so all she does is work with criminals, my dad is a cop so all he does is work with criminals. One profession leaves you scared, the other prepared. It's like they were made for eachother.

                I wound up getting ten bucks from the guy. I love weekends, I usually leave it with two hundred bucks in my pocket. Well, one sixty after I've purchased beer for the week.
                NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

                internet de la jerome

                because the internet | hazardous

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                • #9
                  hahaha funny stuff
                  4:BigKing> xD
                  4:Best> i'm leaving chat
                  4:BigKing> what did i do???
                  4:Best> told you repeatedly you cannot use that emoji anymore
                  4:BigKing> ???? why though
                  4:Best> you're 6'4 and black...you can't use emojis like that
                  4:BigKing> xD

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                  • #10
                    you haven't answered his question, jeromidome

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                    • #11
                      It probably is him.

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                      • #12
                        A ten dollar tip is pretty sweet. The most I've received is $20 for doing a birthday party at a Cineplex movie theater.
                        it makes me sick when i think of it, all my heroes could not live with it so i hope you rest in peace cause with us you never did

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                        • #13
                          Once we had a rush order to a hospital, 15 pizzas in thirty minutes I got an eighty dollar tip, I kept half and gave the two cooks twenty bucks each.

                          Which reminds me, I have to tell my hospital stories (I've seen people die) and stories about the cooks.
                          NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

                          internet de la jerome

                          because the internet | hazardous

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                          • #14
                            JEROME, IS THE BODYGUARD THE PERSON WITH THE WHITE SHIRT??


                            YES OR NO


                            Answer my question

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                            • #15
                              no, he was older (like 35-40(, bout the same size but lighter skin
                              NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

                              internet de la jerome

                              because the internet | hazardous

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