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So yesterday I went on a bike ride after work. We have a bike trail very close to where I am, so I hop on that. A couple miles into it, I was on the right side coming up on a couple girls who were jogging, so I yelled "on your left" as I tried to pass them. I noticed another biker coming up the left lane, but I straddled the median pretty good so he had plenty of room to cross as well. But instead he spit in my direction. He didn't hit (the loogie missed by about a yard actually) but I caught some of the mist. I screeched the brakes, turned around and chased after him. We were going up a hill and I got up beside him. I tried to be calm about it. I said to the guy, "I know I was in your lane a little, but you didn't have to spit at me." He didn't say anything. Then I said "You have choice, you can apologize or I can make you eat the pavement." He stopped his bike immediately, and straddled the top tube and said "You want to go?!" I uncliped and set my bike down on the dirt. I walked towards him. He was a middle aged man who seemed somewhat surprised that I was slightly larger than he thought. I walked up to him, put a hand on his handlebar and reiterated, "apologize, or eat the pavement."
The next part happened pretty quick, as do all physical fights. He took a swing which hit my shoulder. I ripped the bike from underneath him and threw it off the side of the hill, which goes into a ditch. He threw another punch which landed on the side of my face. It stunned me for a second, and after I turned around I punched him in the gut as hard as I could. He crouched over on the ground and I grabbed him by the neck. I asked him if he "liked to fuck around." Didn't choke the guy. He was gasping for air at this point and I got my bike and continued my ride. No witnesses. At the end of the trail loop (the loop was about 18 miles) he was gone and so was his bike that I tossed off the hill.
So there you go, ladies and gents. I hope I didn't get tuberculosis. I do have a bruise on the side of my face that my boss asked me about today. I told her I bumped my head while I was bike riding.
The next part happened pretty quick, as do all physical fights. He took a swing which hit my shoulder. I ripped the bike from underneath him and threw it off the side of the hill, which goes into a ditch. He threw another punch which landed on the side of my face. It stunned me for a second, and after I turned around I punched him in the gut as hard as I could. He crouched over on the ground and I grabbed him by the neck. I asked him if he "liked to fuck around." Didn't choke the guy. He was gasping for air at this point and I got my bike and continued my ride. No witnesses. At the end of the trail loop (the loop was about 18 miles) he was gone and so was his bike that I tossed off the hill.
So there you go, ladies and gents. I hope I didn't get tuberculosis. I do have a bruise on the side of my face that my boss asked me about today. I told her I bumped my head while I was bike riding.
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