moar jokes plz
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"sigpic
Im gonna slash and gash, rip another hole in your ass.
I'll smear blood on the walls and then play
tennis with your balls, and if the phone rings dont answer the caLL.
im gonna slit yo throat, fuk u like a goat
i'LL rip yo fore skin off and make a winter coat. PEACE!
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At a bar one night, some guy goes up to a smokin hot chick and says, "I'm going to call you little toe." So the girl asks, "Why because I'm small and cute?" Then he says, "No because I'm going to bang you on my coffee table later."Sunshine...
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why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7 8 9Originally Posted by HeavenSent
You won't have to wait another 4 years.
There wont be another election for president.
Obama is the Omega President.
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so this dyslexic walks into a bra...4:BigKing> xD
4:Best> i'm leaving chat
4:BigKing> what did i do???
4:Best> told you repeatedly you cannot use that emoji anymore
4:BigKing> ???? why though
4:Best> you're 6'4 and black...you can't use emojis like that
4:BigKing> xD
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After realising that I had accidentally eaten my clone, I shat myself.2:puker> gilder is any band bigger than metallica in your country
2:gilder> if artist count, madonna, cause he was in finland once
2:puker> he
2:puker> maledonna
2:Sika> whats metallica
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