True Story (Funny!!)

[ÆNIMA]

My feelings are hurt.

[TelC@t]

Originally posted by ÆNIMA
personally i think that's a rather immature reaction to the thing

4 once, I agree with AENIMA on this one. Maybe I have been on this forum 4 2 long. All those stupidity virus and their mutations have finally entered my system. My fragile presonal intelligence defence system has gone down.

b4 long, I m gonna turn into one of you dumbasses.

[Mayo Inc.]

No this was most certainly some sweet shit. Instead of being mature about it, he reverted. He probably feels great, and he has a pretty good reason to. He's got nothing hanging over his head for the rest of his life. The other people are going to be burned by that day when it comes around, and all he'll have to do is remember and laugh.

[bloodzombie]

I have no doubt that this is not a true story, but even so, it's interesting to think about.

I think maybe he should've just made a website and posted the pics, because like I said, I feel kinda bad for her parents.

[Mr. Peanuts]

Originally posted by Jason
pv gets a cookie. That story is 100% false. This Dayz shitbrick is getting on my nerves...

me too.

all these crap extracts from websites he keeps posting.

[Ralex]

That groom = smart.

HE IS SO SMART! S-M-R-T!

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Well heres another one if you wanna hear it but its sorta different

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.

Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night.

Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back.

Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again.

So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees.

They decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up.

He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course). Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels). Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start to smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside. He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by the way, he is walking like a cowboy.

On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap.

Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks.

"No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies. They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on the right, women's fashions are on the left. They split up.

Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis. After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he brings both items to the register. His eyes are on his date (still on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away) "Just the pants." "What?" asks the Gap girl.

"Just the pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK."

He pays for the pants and walks over to his date; then they leave the store. They board the train just before it leaves the station and find two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out the window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out...just the sweater.

and i would give you the url and all but theres alot more to it

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Oh yeah its not mine lol

[ÆNIMA]

Originally posted by ÆNIMA
My feelings are hurt.

Just kidding.

[Pyros]

Going back to the fked up weddings...this one happened in the city i live,in a restaurant downtown.The bride and groom had been dating for 6 years,the finally got married and had the reception at that restaurant downtown,during the reception ppl noticed that the groom had been missing for a while and so the bride's father went to look for him,he eventually checked the bathroom and when he entered the bathroom he heard some weird noises coming from behind one of the doors,he opened to the door and he found the groom...being fked in the ass by the best man.I dunno what happened next all i know is that the bride had to be driven to the hospital because she went into shock or something and the marriage was annuled.

[Mayo Inc.]

Originally posted by bloodzombie
I feel kinda bad for her parents.

When everyone started saying you went soft after you got married I backed you up, but now I don't even know why.

[Mr. Peanuts]

lol

[shiftyeyesdogg]

This is such a Ctrl+V topic.

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Yeah most of it i copied and pasted

[bloodzombie]

Originally posted by Mayo Inc.
When everyone started saying you went soft after you got married I backed you up, but now I don't even know why.

Gimme a break, the parents were innocent, tehy didn't know their daughter was a dirty slut