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So a kid is in divorce court...

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  • #1

    So a kid is in divorce court...

    Judge: "So, who do you want to live with?"
    Kid: "Well, I don`t want to live with my dad, because he beats me."
    Judge: "Okay, how about your mother?"
    Kid: "No, I don`t want to live with her, because she beats me, too."
    Judge: "Well, then, who DO you want to live with?"
    Kid: "I know! I`ll go live with the Red Sox. They can`t beat anybody."
    My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.
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  • #2
    Harsh, un-PC, personally insulting, yet strangely funny.

    NOT.
    5:Sydi> mike, your dad just called me old
    5:Sydi> that stung a little
    5:Rab> u fuck each other's dads?
    5:Sydi> yes. i fuck armour's dad.
    5:Rab> fag.
    5:armour> dude
    5:Sydi> i take what i can get

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: So a kid is in divorce court...

      Originally posted by Liquid Blue
      Judge: "So, who do you want to live with?"
      Kid: "Well, I don`t want to live with my dad, because he beats me."
      Judge: "Okay, how about your mother?"
      Kid: "No, I don`t want to live with her, because she beats me, too."
      Judge: "Well, then, who DO you want to live with?"
      Kid: "I know! I`ll go live with the Red Sox. They can`t beat anybody."
      That jokes already done the rounds on the football message boards with the *insert relevant football club here* tag
      Originally posted by Facetious
      edit: (Money just PMed me his address so I can go to Houston and fight him)

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      • #4
        If I wasn't really fucked up right now, that wouldn't be funny. That being said, HAHAHAHA!
        jasonofabitch loves!!!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Whoa, did you hear about this new console called the "SNES"? I think I'm going to get one!
          …../|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_\,----,,,_……… LUEshi is watching j00...
          …( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : :o `-,……

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          • #6
            And just how would you pronounce that?

            Teehee. You can't possibly express the proper pronunciation of that acronym through the use of mere written words.
            jasonofabitch loves!!!!

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            • #7
              Su-per Nin-ten-do En-ter-tain-ment Sys-tem.

              I only typed SNES because it's shorter. Not many actually writes out the word "etcetera", and this is one of those cases.
              …../|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_\,----,,,_……… LUEshi is watching j00...
              …( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : :o `-,……

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              • #8
                No. I wanted you to pronounce the acronym, not what the acronym stands for.
                jasonofabitch loves!!!!

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                • #9
                  Oh! Gotcha.

                  ...

                  Hey, I'm talking out loud, but it's not coming up on my monitor!



                  Er....just kidding.
                  …../|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_\,----,,,_……… LUEshi is watching j00...
                  …( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : :o `-,……

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                  • #10
                    Hey, I apologize for saying some nasty shit to you in some other thread that I can't seem to recall right now. You're cool. I hope you'll be cool with me.
                    jasonofabitch loves!!!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      If you posted that when you were high, I'll just ignore it.

                      If otherwise, that's cool.
                      …../|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_\,----,,,_……… LUEshi is watching j00...
                      …( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : :o `-,……

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        High, sober, it doesn't matter. It's a matter of sincerity. Sorry. Rock on. ""
                        jasonofabitch loves!!!!

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                        • #13
                          yankees own you.

                          the curse LIVES.
                          TelCat> i am a slut not a hoe
                          TelCat> hoes get paid :(
                          TelCat> i dont

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                          • #14

                            1:Eeks> well that bichix was trying to start conversation with me today
                            1:Eeks> and got excited when i said i wanna go drink today =/
                            1:Eeks> but i didn't propose anything
                            1:Zloy> Why
                            1:Eeks> i didn't have anything to fill that box zloy

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                            • #15
                              Noooooooooooooo!!! My badger!!!
                              5:Sydi> mike, your dad just called me old
                              5:Sydi> that stung a little
                              5:Rab> u fuck each other's dads?
                              5:Sydi> yes. i fuck armour's dad.
                              5:Rab> fag.
                              5:armour> dude
                              5:Sydi> i take what i can get

                              Comment

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