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Death..or Bunda?

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  • Death..or Bunda?

    These three explorers get lost in the jungle and end up captured by natives.

    They soon find themselves all tied to stakes in the centre of the village surrounded by these angry villagers.

    The chief comes out and addresses the captives.
    "You have tresspassed on our sacred lands, you must be punished. But we are merciful so I will give you a choice; Death or Bunda?"

    The first prisoner thinks this is a no-brainer, anything is better than death so he calls out "Bunda" in a confident voice.

    The villagers cut him loose and throw him into the square, chanting "Bunda! Bunda! Bunda! Bunda! Bunda..."
    The crowd seperates and into the circle walks this huge great unwashed beast of a savage.
    He grabs the prisoner picks him up like a ragdoll and proceeds to rape him like a prison bitch.

    After he's finished he tosses the prisoner aside and goes back to his hut. The chief tells the prisoner that he may now leave or face immediate death, so he hobbles pitifully out of the village.

    After watching him leave, the chief approaches the second captive and asks "Death or Bunda?"

    This guy takes longer to think. Bunda looked pretty horrific, but he knew he didn't want to die, so with some trepidation he answers in a quavery voice "Bunda."

    Again, the villagers cut this one loose and throw him into the square, chanting "Bunda! Bunda! Bunda! Bunda! Bunda..."
    The crowd seperates and into the circle walks Bunda.
    He grabs the prisoner picks him up like a ragdoll and proceeds to rape him like a prison bitch.

    However, having just raped the first prisoner minutes ago, it takes him much longer to finish up and when the chief tell this man to leave, he can barely crawl out of the village and in fact can mostly only slither out on his stomach.

    After watching him leave, the chief asks the last prisoner "Death or Bunda?"
    After witnessing the savageness of the first two assaults, this last explorer is pretty scared. He realizes that being third and last Bunda is going to take forever and he just doesn't think he could go through the rest of his life with such memories.
    So he replies clearly and strongly "I choose death!"

    The chief smiles, looks at the white man and says "you are brave man."
    He turns around and addressess the villagers "Death... by BUNDA!!!!!!!!"
    My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.

  • #2
    That's an old one, but a classic.

    I like the version they used in an episode Futurama when they go to the planet of the Amazons and the Femputer.



    Kug: Men strange. You have them on your planet?

    Leela: (ashamed) I'm afraid so.

    Kug: What they for? [Amy whispers something in her ear.] Oh, you mean snu-snu.

    [The other Amazonians murmur.]

    Thog: We hear tell men used for snu-snu. But all we have go on are ancient legend and subscription to Cosmo.

    Zapp: Just FYI, I could be used for snu-snu.

    Thog: Silence. You want die like last men visit Amazonia?

    Fry: What they die of?

    Kug: Crushed pelvises.

    [In the corner some happy little skeletons lie against the wall with broken pelvises. One enjoyed himself so much he is still holding the cigarette.]

    Fry: Yes!

    Zapp: Oh thank you Lord in heaven!

    [The Femputer returns.]

    Femputer: After lengthy femputations, I Femputer, have decided the fate of the men. Femputer sentences them to death... [The prisoners, Amy and Leela gasp.] ...by snu-snu

    Fry: (cheering) Yay!

    Zapp: (cheering) Yeah! [Kif wimpers and Zapp turns around to him.] (talking) What are you, gay?

    Femputer: Death to the men. Death by snu-snu.

    [The prisoners whimper.]

    Fry: Although the snu-snu part's gonna be pretty good.

    Zapp: Baby it'll blow your mind.

    Comment


    • #3
      i know a joke about a tribe too.

      A lonely geologist was exploring the mountains in Africa as he was captured by an unknown tribe. The scientist soon accepted the tribe as his family and they all got along
      A year later a white child was born in the tribe.. The leader comes up to the white man and says:

      "There is a white child born in the tribe! It must be yours, you're the only white man in many miles around!"

      Scientist [scared of course]:

      "Relax. See that herd of white ram? There is one black little lamb there, it's just one of the things of nature, that child is not mine..."

      Leader [after thinking]:

      "Ok i'll make you a deal. I wont tell anyone about your white child and you wont tell anyone about my black lamb"

      BWAHAHAHAHAAH. GAHGAHGAHGAH!
      I like sub space
      but i am not a fuck face
      but most people in it are...
      me - i didn't get that far.
      it's also full of lamers, laggots,
      newbies, eaters, teamers, faggots...
      I own them like an ez pie
      ph34r!! - stay away or die.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Troll King
        That's an old one, but a classic.
        Is anything new in this forum? Or have we all reached the end of the internet?
        Ну вот...

        Comment


        • #5
          Bloody well hope so
          Originally posted by Facetious
          edit: (Money just PMed me his address so I can go to Houston and fight him)

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