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I look at a lot of job resumes and I got this one the other day from someone in TW. If anyone recognizes it, please let me know, I think we have a position in Sales that is open.
OBJECTIVE
To apply my eliteness in Trench Wars to any applicable real world task or job that produces income and stable retirement roadmap.
EXPERIENCE
Current – May, 2002 -- Vinyl Squad --
Totally kickass squad, won the coveted TWLB championship two years in a row. I was the best player on the squad and in the league, no one was better than me. I helped in every aspect of squad growth, including but not limited to; owning noobs, winning key games by playing on levels never attained by other players, trash talking better than is humanly possible, and even owning people in the TW forums. I also process the ability to use my unsurpassed understanding of network protocol to glean an advantage over every other player out there. I perfected the lag kill and I can fly though spider bullets better than Superman.
Ancillary skills include a complete knowledge of every know Trench Wars venerability AND being able to take advantage of it.
EDUCATION
1999–200 Players I learned from to make me the best player to ever grace the game:
Showboat – Great shark, I learned how to lag mine from him.
Moron – Showed me the good shots in jav, but I showed him better and then got him axed.
Chump – He taught me how great I really was.
Peon – Showed me that sportsmanship, honor, and taking the high road is for fags.
INTERESTS
Terriers, Sharks, Graphics cards, porn
SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes
Banned 6 times, every one unjustified
12 TW Forum Topics that got moved, 3 that got closed.
SEX
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (does cybering with a 53 y.o guy count?)
SIGN HERE: Libra
OBJECTIVE
To apply my eliteness in Trench Wars to any applicable real world task or job that produces income and stable retirement roadmap.
EXPERIENCE
Current – May, 2002 -- Vinyl Squad --
Totally kickass squad, won the coveted TWLB championship two years in a row. I was the best player on the squad and in the league, no one was better than me. I helped in every aspect of squad growth, including but not limited to; owning noobs, winning key games by playing on levels never attained by other players, trash talking better than is humanly possible, and even owning people in the TW forums. I also process the ability to use my unsurpassed understanding of network protocol to glean an advantage over every other player out there. I perfected the lag kill and I can fly though spider bullets better than Superman.
Ancillary skills include a complete knowledge of every know Trench Wars venerability AND being able to take advantage of it.
EDUCATION
1999–200 Players I learned from to make me the best player to ever grace the game:
Showboat – Great shark, I learned how to lag mine from him.
Moron – Showed me the good shots in jav, but I showed him better and then got him axed.
Chump – He taught me how great I really was.
Peon – Showed me that sportsmanship, honor, and taking the high road is for fags.
INTERESTS
Terriers, Sharks, Graphics cards, porn
SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes
Banned 6 times, every one unjustified
12 TW Forum Topics that got moved, 3 that got closed.
SEX
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (does cybering with a 53 y.o guy count?)
SIGN HERE: Libra
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