Think its long? Blame it on Whiterabbit and Coffee

[Ender]

What I want to know is what I've done wrong?
Not in the sense that an act has been commited on one single occasion, but in the long term, over the past 5 or so years, what exactly is it about me, that has repelled both squads of repute - that is, serious squads that play in leagues ect... - and staff?

This isn't to say I havent had fun in Trench, I mean, shit, why would I continue to play? Because its a second home to me. I've given a lot; consistently assisted new players, defended people who were being harrased, and generally given myself to this game.
I've even been in a few squads, and every week I'm offered a spot in someone's squad, but my consistent refusal is based on one fact: they're all new squads that have the leader and his best friend down the street on roster, and they'll dissolve in 2 days. The squading system seems determined to maintain that you HAVE to kiss some ER or ZH or even mod ass to get anywhere beyond 'player'.

Maybe this isn't the place to look for sympathy, I dont even plan on coming back to the forum because naturally the replies to this will contant 'stfu ender' ect.... but in spite of that, I can't help but feel let down.
I'm not asking for staff, and I'm not asking to be a part of squads, if they dont want me I'm a big guy, I can accept that.... not a problem.
No... I'm not looking for universal acceptance ("Why wont they like me! WHHAAA!") or a shoulder to fucking cry on, but I am objectivley standing aside and suggesting that maybe this zone is disparaging it's loyal and productive players, and allowing corrupt and unreasonable people to be on staff.... that slowly the zone is dying and becoming an elitist class based system, where the more funny in chat you are, or the more female you seem to be [and lets not mince words, I like Goddess and I like Volcs, and I liked Left_Eye, but no more or less than I like Pusher or Kingz...because they host games a lot and participate with the players on a personal level. Its the same reason I cant honestly say I ever liked any of the other moderators and refs, because they never ever DO anything, and when they do, its just a job, cut and dry, "There, I'm done hosting for you pub playing half wits, now its back to sitting in spec and chatting in some obscure ?chat".
Look, this is the internet, you can be any gender you want to be pals, and if someone lies about that, its no different than when you said you were quarter-back for the Rams to get into some girls pants. For all we know, Lefty could be a man, woman, girl, boy, gorrila, whatever, she was a damned good event ref, and deserved the <ER> on her name. Get over it

That brings me to the most important fact of my ranting tirade; whens the last time someone was simply appreciated, because they'd been there through all the BS a zone of hundreds of people can stir up, through all the server problems, and all the map changes and all the great and fun times, well, when?

Fuck it all. I'm changing my nickname - please understand this is a strong step because I always believed that I should build strong ties to people with one name, as one person and never traded my nickname, I have ALWAYS, for 6 years, been Ender.
But, I'm starting fresh over.
The Ender nickname [for which I have been offered sex, money and winged monkeys, no joke] is up for grabs, or, I'll just log in everyonce in a while so no one ever gets it, muahahahahaha!!!

Ahh, its good to end a rant with some evil, dont you think?

/end rant

[Bluedandy]

Can I have your nick?

Seriously, though... It is only a game, and it's cool that you're pissed, but people do get recognized. Everyone here, everyone in Diso or Pallies or whoever, was a newb once. Not saying you're a newb - but I think you understand. Don't worry if you're not "appreciated" the way you want to be, and expect people to be elitist jerkos and then be elitist jerkos right back.

I'm tired. If you need someone to vent at, talk to me. I think I'll sleep in tomorrow and skip class. I still want your nick, though.

[Ender]

Sure, the new one is Dundas, or Scrim.... or Quick[Silver]

Haven't decided yet.


Its not that I'm pissed. I've just been playing for a long time, and its frustrating on that 'better laugh or you might just go nuts' level.
I helped build UFO, and out of that came Disoblige. I've been on Exalted, NSII, and spent time in the chats and playing alongside many great players. What sparked my rant, and my whole reflection thingy was today being told I'm annoying because I asked for a game of basing. Again, not pissed, just frustrated because it IS just a game, and whats more, the people in charge, the people who have the power and respect in this game, sit in spec 99% of the time, and fake AFK when you ask for a host for a game.
It surely is JUST A GAME..... and its meant to be played... whatever squad you're in, or letters are <added> to the end of your nickname.
I know its just a game, but its also much more than that.... its like a community of people who like something so much that they set up servers and maintained it even when the creators ditched, and without 300+ people constantly playing, there would be no reason whatsoever to maintain the thing, but there it is, just open continuum, its there for all to see, a communal gathering and a work of greatness. Its hard to not want to be part of it.


You can have Ender, Bluedandy. But it comes with a bit of a reputation, as you can see above, and even during heated basing games, I type way too much.

[Webbb Llama v1.5]

Well written

[Bluedandy]

Aww.

[Cadet Hunter]

I'm sure it was well written, but way too long for me to read.
BTW. A. stfu ender, and B. you can join supremacy, the pw is cadet.

[Eeks]

You type a lot.

[arrogance]

Ugh whiterabbits, curse those handsome devils!

[Troll King]

I for one respect you Ender.

Of course, I often find myself in the same boat you're in.

[Jaffacake]

Wow, it's almost as if I were writing this thread.

I've felt the same as you through my playing career too (albeit only 2 years as opposed to your distinguished 5), but i've never been brave enough to write something like this for the same reasons as you quoted (the endless tirade of "stfu" and "n00b") - so I admire what you've written.

The problem is, you're too intelligent and well-balanced for this game. You expect others to act in a reasonable, mature, common-sense way. But the fact is that that doen't happen very often.

Most people that play computer games (such as TW) forget that the participants are human beings (which is easy to do when behind a computer screen, unable to see the faces of your colleagues). Because of this, there is lack of consideration and lack of empathy, and so players do not respect others in the way they might do if face-to-face to them. And so, shows of appreciation (for example) are discarded for shows of self-promotion and self-gratification (after all, the only player you know as a human is yourself, and so you are the one you care for).

So really expecting any reward from your peers (and alleged superiors) would be slim.

Blaming others (and wishing that they would all "grow up") is not worth the trouble. Arguably, you would be blaming those who deserve it most. After all, they didn't make up the rules of life, but they sure know how to play them. So in my view at least, you'd be blaming those that have manipulated human nature for the most benefit.

On the other hand, we losers of human nature are left to reward those that remember that you're a human being. But that wont get you far in TW life.

So to summarise a long and tortuous thread, be less considerate and go get your own recognition...

[yung]

In my three years, I have never seen you once, and ive spent alot of time on this game. I only started seeing you this past month. So i draw a few conclusions, 1) you just started playing and you want to accelerate your "career" or 2) you have actually played for 6 years, and youve been more elusive than Troll King, which i cannot believe.

[pv=nrt]

TK i am pretty sure any basing squad would want you if you would join them.

[Ara]

I never kissed anyone's ass to get in staff, just played for
too long..

[FLaBiN]

I played Subspace for about 4-5 years before I was offered staff. However I wasn't trying to get on staff during that time and also took a year break. I was offered staff when I joined Pallies in their infancy of the squad. I also made friends with a few staffers at the time and played a lot. My advice is to just have fun and enjoy the game, if you are offered staff and you want it then great.

Just keep in mind that most of the people that play want to be on staff to take part in the zone development or to just possess powers. It is hard to find people with the right characteristics for staff in a game. I'm sorry you feel that you don't get any recognition as a player or have been offered a descent squad or staff. The competition for such things can be tough and some are just lucky. I hope things go well for you in your new alias.

[Louis XV]

To be a good staffer you need to be intelligent and have a sense of duty/responsibility. Pshyea like you're gonna find a lot of people like that.