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HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 1

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  • HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 1

    HOT OR NOT





    Week 1
    Week 2
    Week 3
    Week 4
    Week 5
    Week 6
    Week 7
    Quarter-Finals
    Semi-Finals
    Finals




    TWDT-D


    Gryffindor vs. Paddington
    50-42

    Gryffindor flashed their 9/9/8/7/7 line from the get-go, with their 9-Stars putting in Herculean efforts, with Casket dropping a monstrous 17-8 and Dak ripping through Paddington with a 15-7, with Commodo, Rasaq, and Kira providing able support.

    Lasenza went Super Saiyan and was 15-5 at one point before his team died out, nearly closing a 15 kill deficit singlehandedly, but Exalt, Kentaro, and Tiny faltered, with Eric Clapton completely cratering with a 2-7.

    Zidane proved a better power sub than a power bottom, nearly changing the tides of battle with a sublime 6-3, but it proved too little, too late.

    The only thing he ended up being able to change was Lasenza's diapers, when he threw a temper tantrum after the loss.

    HOT: Casket (17-8)
    HOT: Dak (15-7)

    NOT: Eric Clapton (2-7). It's time to put these Sweet players out to pasture. After this 2-7, Jones' 4-10s and Riversides 1-10 vs. Paladen, the only thing these bums are qualified to shoot at is Han Solo as Stormtrooper extras.


    Pirates vs. Lag & Luck
    50-38

    Mythril evolved into another plane of consciousness in this game, dropping a titanic 21-9 to lead Pirates to victory.

    Pineapple Express (13-5) played well for a guy whose resume highlights include once attaching to Cape in pub and playing in the one game Jebass ever went positive in, while Singer and Tripin straddled parity and Beast hung onto their coattails for dear life.

    Paky Dude (11-10) was the only player on Lag & Luck to go plus, while Ardour, Caos, Mean Gene, and Trasher negged.

    HOT: Mythril (21-9)
    HOT: Pineapple Express (13-5)

    NOT: Beast (3-8). Beast went 3-8 on the winning team, which is a pretty good score for someone with cataracts who once tried to use his AARP card at an ATM machine. I'm not saying Beast is old, but the first time he complained about kids and their "new-fangled gadgets", he was referring to the abacus.


    Win or Die vs. Mist
    50-40

    Wirah (13-5) and Racka (13-9) were a dynamic duo in this one, leading Dreamwin, Jessup and Major Crisis to the W with aplomb.

    BIET (13-10) was the only Mistian to offer any resistance, with Flew, Mikkiz, Ra, Turban, and Yoast failing to hit 1:1.

    HOT: Wirah (13-5)
    NOT: Flew (6-10). Needed more from the 9-Star captain in a winnable game, and 6-10 doesn't cut it. The only thing Flew should be cutting, is himself from Mist's WB line. Yoast is the future of this game. Flew holding the next generation back worse than Will Wheaton's acting.

    Set your phasers to bum.



    Haze vs. Fish
    50-42

    Haze put in a balanced performance across the board, with no single individual standing out and all 5 players going positive.

    Iron Survivor (13-10), Lockdown (11-9), Rough, Zapata, and Felix_da_Kat moved as one, and took down Fish in a very close game, pulling away at the last minute.

    Zizzo (11-10) and Sprackle (12-10) nearly pulled out the upset, but poor performances from Vys, maketso, and Morph sunk them.

    HOT: Felix_da_kat (8-6). Managing an 8-6 as a 6-Star is huge for a line that is desperately searching for a 6 to play their 10/9/8/7/6 lineup. Other people desperately searching for a 6: Vys's Tinder profile.
    NOT: Morph (5-10). Not a good performance for an 8-Star in a close game. Morph firing more blanks than the men in The Handmaid's Tale.


    Paddington vs. Pirates
    50-35

    Lasenza continued his assault on TWDT-D, putting up a sizzling 14-6 and notching Paddington's first win. Zidane was also hot, spitting out a 15-5.

    Eric Clapton redeemed himself with an 8-5, while Kentaro, Tiny, and Spectacular were also technically in the game.

    Mythril put up a 12-10, while his team looked like the extras in Season 3 of Stranger Things, getting absorbed into the nefarious amorphous blob taking over the town that is Lasenza.

    Beast, Pineapple Express, Singer, and Tripin were non-factors.

    HOT: Lasenza (14-6)
    HOT: Zidane (15-5)

    NOT: Tripin (2-10). Tripin was discarded by Win or Die in a trade, then dumpstered by Paddington in this match. I half expect to turn on the TV at this point and see Tripin pop up in Oscar the Grouch's trash can. Haven't seen this little resistance put up since the Maginot Line.


    Gryffindor vs. Win or Die
    50-29

    Gryffindor improved to 2-0 in warbird, as Casket (15-5) decimated Win or Die with lethal precision. Commodo (13-6) impressed at the 7-Star position, ahead of Dak, Kira, and Rasaq who all went positive in a +21 victory that left little to chance.

    Racka, Dreamwin, Jessup, Jurassic, Skatarius, and Wirah were dismal, and this was a rout.

    HOT: Casket (15-5)
    HOT: Commodo (13-6)

    NOT: Racka, for going 5-10 like a miner's alarm clock.


    Lag & Luck vs. Fish
    50-46

    Fish lost a pair of heartbreakers by the slimmest of margins, as Lag & Luck edged them out, thanks to an incisive performance from JAMAL, who took Zizzo's team down with a 15-5.

    Paky Dude (14-10), Caos (11-9), and a clutch sub-in from Trasher (5-2) proved to be just enough to notch the W, despite sub-par play from Ardour (2-7), Let (0-5), and Mean Gene (3-5).

    Vys (15-10) and Zizzo (13-10) did their best to carry the load, but they lacked either the intestinal fortitude (or Lisa Ann's throat glands), as Morph, Myollnir, and Sprackle notched a trio of 6-10s.

    HOT: JAMAL (15-5)
    HOT: Paky Dude (14-10)
    HOT: Vys (15-10)

    NOT: Ardour (2-7). Ardour went an atrocious 2-7 on the winning side. He tried to give everyone high fives after the match, but his aim was so bad he slapped the high voltage cables instead.



    Thought he was Frank Castle, when in fact he's Frank Grimes.


    Haze vs. Mist
    50-31

    Lockdown (15-8), Zapata (12-4) and Iron Survivor (13-6) led Haze to a perfect week in TWDT-D, as they mowed Mist down with ease.

    Rough and Felix provided about as much support as a A cup bra on Christina Hendricks, but did contribute nonetheless.

    Flew (10-10) was the only player on his squad to approach parity, while BIET, Jackiechan>, Ra, and Yoast went into the red.

    HOT: Lockdown (15-8)
    HOT: Zapata (12-4)
    HOT: Iron Survivor (13-6)

    NOT: Ra (3-8). Ra is my boy, but he negged harder than a frat bro at a freshman mixer. Deploy the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.


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    TWDT-J


    Gryffindor vs. Win or Die
    50-23

    Commodo annihilated Win or Die with a gargantuan outing, wowing the crowd with a prodigious 17-2, leaving my thesaurus giddy with anticipation.

    Kira (11-7) and Spezza (13-10) also put in strong performances, leading Casket and Rab, who also went plus.

    Nobody on WoD managed to get more than 5 kills, as they all stunk up the joint in solidarity with each other.

    Their names have been redacted for their own protection.

    HOT: Commodo (17-2)
    NOT: D******* (5-10). No names, but a certain mans worth 10-Stars who like saunaing and uses the word "Lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliup seerioppilas" to say hello, looked like Mr. Magoo out there.




    Haze vs. Fish
    50-39

    Rough (15-8), Felix_da_Kat (12-9), and Cuckold (10-9) led Haze to victory, ahead of Iron Survivor and Lockdown.

    Vys (11-10) was the only jav on Fish to hit 10, as Morph, maketso, hellrazor, and Zizzo all failed to make an impact.

    HOT: Rough (15-8)
    NOT: Hellrazor (3-10). Fish lost by 11, and Ronaldinho was -7, accounting for the majority of the deficit. If you had a sibling who was equally as reckless in producing losses, you'd be the Lehman Brothers.



    Take that, Lehman Brothers!


    Paddington vs. Pirates
    50-40

    Zidane (15-7) led Paddington with a searing spectacle, leading Eric Clapton (10-7), Tiny, Spectacular, and Destruct to the triumph.

    No one on Pirates was able to stay above water in this one, as Geio, Beast, Mythril, Singer, Skyforger, and Tripin punched a one-way ticket to Davy Jones's locker.

    HOT: Zidane (15-7)
    NOT: Geio (2-6).

    You will see him in spec on any given Sunday
    Win a TWL with the coords he will relay
    He was supposed to get you games won with your money
    He went to the dollar store, got pompoms with your money
    He walkin' around lookin' like Diaper Don with your money
    Shoulda got that pick insured, that's Geio for your money



    Lag & Luck vs. Mist
    50-44

    Trasher put in a colossal effort, notching a mighty 18-8 in a tough win over Mist.

    JAMAL (12-9) and Mean Gene provided solid support, while Ardour and Zeebu struggled, but won anyway snugly couched in Trasher's kangaroo pouch as the pair of Joeys are unlikely to get their own spinoff anytime soon.

    Mikkiz (12-10) and Ra (10-10) tried valiantly to stem the tide, but Kim, Flew, and BIET proved too heavy.

    HOT: Trasher (18-8)
    NOT: Zeebu (4-9) and Ardour (6-10). Some dookie performances on the winning team. Are you guys married to women who tell the news on TV? Because you're both fucking anchors.


    Pirates vs. Win or Die
    50-45

    Pirates edged out Win or Die by the slimmest of margins, thanks to a heroic display from Singer, who put on a javing clinic in this one.

    In residency at said clinic: Beast, Mythril, Skyforger, and Tripin.

    For WoD, Jessup (12-10) and Dreamwin (10-10) managed to reach parity, while Racka, Wirah, and Jurassic did not, although they did play well enough to avoid the wrath of my pen. For now.

    HOT: Singer (15-9)


    Fish vs. Mist
    50-43

    Morph looked like Dark Phoenix out there (which can get awkward when Cyclops gets horny), scorching Mist with a 17-9 fireball.

    Raples (13-7) was pulled out of cold storage like Omega Red, and he made TWDT-J look like Stalingrad with his body count, alongside Vys (11-9), Maketso, and Hellrazor (2-9), who managed to stay alive by the slimmest of margins, and avoids the NOT section by knocking Turban. Bigly!

    Turban (12-10), Ra (10-10), and Mikkiz (10-10) had very good games, but the Mistians were vaporized by ephemeral efforts from Kim and BIET.

    HOT: Morph (17-9)
    NOT: BIET (3-10). Biet sucked so much in this game that a Brazzers watermark suddenly appeared at the bottom-right of my screen while speccing him.


    Lag & Luck vs. Gryffindor
    50-38

    Lag & Luck stayed true to their star levels, and put in a strong, balanced, team-centric effort to get the win. Mean Gene (12-5), Trasher (10-7), Caos, Ardour, and spacedust took an early lead and didn't let go -- like white people in america!

    Casket, Commodo, Kira, Spezza, and Rab all negged -- with the lone brightspot being a late sub-in by Ogron (8-7) that proved too little, too late.

    HOT: Mean Gene (12-5)
    NOT: Kira Tomato (3-10). Kira's my bud, but he suicided out so fast he got his own Netflix series.




    Paddington vs. Haze
    50-36

    Tiny led Paddington with a 16-8 sizzler, alongside one Zinedine Zidane, who slapped Haze with a 13-5.

    Destruct has yet to breakout, but straddled parity alongside Eric Clapton, trailed by Spectacular, who was anything but.

    For haze, their only loss of the week was a convincing one, as Rough, Cuckold, Felix_da_Kat, Iron Survivor, and Lockdown all failed to go positive.

    HOT: Tiny (16-8)
    HOT: Zidane (13-5)

    NOT: Felix_da_Kat (3-10). Felix finally turned back into a pumpkin after several out-of-pumpkin experiences earlier in the day where he looked shockingly playable. Although never underestimate the power of a pumpkin to fail upwards.



    Last edited by ogron; 07-15-2019, 06:29 AM.
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    • #3
      TWDT-B


      Win or Die vs. Paddington
      15-3

      Wingzero (26-1) terred ahead of Major Crisis and Rageritual, as Win or Die easily took down Paddington 15-3, with Dreamwin, Jurassic, Rozay, Skatarius and Sakke outkilling the enemy side by 100 in only 18 minutes!

      For Paddington, Tiny (10-7) terred for the Bears with Thix having lag issues, with Oder and Zidane in shark. Shayde, Spectacular, Lasenza, TJ Hazuki and Thix spidered in the loss.

      HOT: Wingzero (26-1)
      HOT: Dreamwin (72-35).

      NOT: Tiny. Making a soft ass post in forums trying to preempt a NOT. Get the fuck outta here LOL. Stick to being premature with the ladies. The only time you'll ever be HOT basing is if you're playing from a Sweat Lodge.

      Gryffindor vs. Fish
      15-2

      Rab (13-3) terred in front of Commodo and Markmrw as Gryffindor took down Fish with hook, line, and sinker.

      Davy (86-22) went ballistic, on pace for a 150 kill game had it gone the full 30 minutes, leading Spezza, Holy Ship, Banks, and Terminator 17.5 in the conquest.

      The defending champ Zizzo (14-11) found less success today, with Morph and Sprackle unable to get much going in shark.

      They were joined by Vys, Raples, Myollnir, Hellrazor and Maketso in the defeat.

      HOT: Davy (86-22)
      NOT: Zizzo, for not drafting two sharks and playing Sprackle in Ship 8. Zizzo mismanaged his team so badly, he's been hired by the Knicks.


      Pirates vs. Mist
      15-14

      This one was a barnburner, as Pirates narrowly edged out Mist.

      Pirates was terred to victory by skyforger (36-6), ahead of Mythril and Violence in shark.

      Henry Saari (123-42) and Singer (119-57) lit the opposing spiders up, ahead of Beast, Tripin, and 7roll.

      Mist lost a heartbreaker, featuring 3x TWDT-B champ Mikkiz (51-10) dropping over 50 kills, but alas it wasn't enough. Turban and Bosshawk sharked.

      Ra (97-77) led all Mistian spiders, alongside BIET, JackieChan>, Public Assassin, and Yoast.

      HOT: Henry Saari (123-42)
      HOT: Singer (119-57)

      NOT: Yoast (44-86). Yoast went so negative we had to switch to Kelvin to measure it. And like the initial value of Kelvin, Yoast is an absolute zero. I don't think I've ever seen someone go -42 in a TWDT-B game, but like a JJ Abrams movie without a lens flare or Rough not leaving a 50 on the counter after sex, there's a first for everything.

      Haze vs. Lag & Luck
      15-10

      This one was a bit of a surprise, as I thought Lag & Luck would mow through most of the league given their strong TWDT-B lineup.

      Haze impressed with SpookedOne (40-2) having a fantastic performance in terrier, ahead of 10-Star superstar shark Hulk and solid 7-Star value Willby, who told Trasher to leave his Will by the table, because he'd be needing it after the trouncing he gave him.

      WBM (102-60) beasted over in spider, while Rough (95-56) continued his dominance of under. RUCCI (91-58) showed he's still relevant in base, and Lockdown and Felix played well, too.

      Lag & Luck featured Trasher and Spacedust in terrier, with neither gaining much traction, ahead of JAMAL and Mean Gene in shark.

      Cripple (116-64) and Caos (111-38) put in campy but ineffective performances, ahead of Ardour, Mr. Homo, and Zeebu in the 5 minute loss.

      HOT: SpookedOne (40-2)
      HOT: WBM (102-60)

      NOT: Caos. 111-38 in a loss, yuck! Those are some Inaphyt level numbers. Who needs to start a campfire when you can just set down Caos in spider to roast your marshmellows.

      DEAR BRITISH MUSEUM: REPATRIATE CAOS'S FORWARD KEY!!!



      It was stolen from his keyboard 200 years ago along with the Elgin Marbles, and he hasn't moved forward since.


      Fish vs. Paddington
      15-4

      Fish showed Paddington where the ocean is, dumping them off in cement boots as Zizzo (30-1) led the foray in terr ahead of Morph and Sprackle.

      Maketso (74-34) lead the winning team's spids, alongside Raples, Hellrazor, and Myollnir.

      Meanwhile, Vys (61-32) managed an impressive 9 Teks to secure the victory in warbird.

      For Paddington, Tiny (19-14) helpfully illustrated just how much better even an up-and-coming terr like SpookedOne is compared to the average joe, getting hammered for 14 deaths in only 19 minutes. Ouch!

      Oder and Zidane sharked, but couldn't keep their captain alive.

      TJ Hazuki (86-57) had a big game, but it wasn't enough, as Shayde, Undercut, Lasenza, and Destruct couldn't keep pace.

      HOT: Zizzo (30-1)
      HOT: Vys (9 Teks)

      NOT: Tiny (19-14). This was not the breakout performance in terr Tiny was hoping for. The only thing that's ever broken out with a 19-14 was World War I.


      Win or Die vs. Mist
      15-1

      This was a massacre, with bitsaver (23-0) ahead of Major and Rage, with Jurassic, Dreamwin, Rozay, Sakke and Skat in spid for WoD.

      HOT: Dreamwin (85-20)
      HOT: Jurassic (78-32)

      NOT: Ra (34-57). Like Woody Allen in Annie Hall, Ra couldn't hit a spider the size of a Buick in this game.


      Gryffindor vs. Lag & Luck
      15-14

      This was the Game of the Week in base, with Gryffindor making a massive comeback down 8-2 and winning the game in heartrending fashion by a 15-14 score.

      Ogron (42-4) terred ahead of Commodo and Markmrw, who proved a fearsome tandem this week, with some nasty crams. Davy held the fort down in shark for the first 5 minutes of the game with Commodo unable to play early on, showing his multi-ship versatility.

      Spezza (118-64), Rab (100-73) and Holy Ship (97-66) led House Gryffindor's over, while Banks and Anonym manned the under.

      Lag & Luck featured Trasher (41-7) in terrier, with JAMAL and Mr. Homo in shark, as the pair looked a better fit than the earlier JAMAL/Mean Gene combo, nearly winning against a top tier team in a game with razor thin margins.

      Cripple was a juggernaut as usual, dropping a ridiculous 146-67 to lead all spiders this week.

      He was flanked by Mean Gene (103-58), Caos, afghan, and Olde in a that that featured multiple late-game lead changes and scintillating flagroom battles.

      HOT: Commodo (3.1 RPD) and Markmrw (2.9 RPD, 2 Teks)
      HOT: Spezza (118-64)
      HOT: Cripple (146-67)



      Haze vs. Pirates
      15-3

      Haze made quick work of Pirates, as SpookedOne (29-1) once again shined in front of Hulk and Willby in shark.

      Lockdown (72-23) looked unstoppable, ahead of WBM (78-41), Rough, RUCCI and Poni.

      Pirates started skyforger (19-6) in terr, this time without success, ahead of Mythril and Violence in ship 8.

      Henry Saari (85-30) put up some empty stats alongside 7Roll, Beast, Singer, and Tripin.

      HOT: Lockdown (72-23)
      HOT: Hulk (3.0 RPD)

      NOT: Tripin (48-62). Tripin made his acting debut this game, as the BEFORE part of a Lasik ad.
      Last edited by ogron; 07-15-2019, 09:01 AM.
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      • #4
        Players of the Week


        WB of the Week: Casket (17-8, 15-5)
        Honorable Mention: Mythril (21-9), Lasenza (16-10, 14-6)

        Jav of the Week: Zidane (15-7, 13-5)
        Honorable Mention: Trasher (18-8), Morph (17-9), Tiny (16-8)

        Terrier of the Week: SpookedOne (40-2, 29-1)
        Honorable Mention: Bitsaver (26-1, 23-0), Ogron (42-4), Zizzo (30-1)
        Sharks of the Week: Hulk/Willby
        Honorable Mention: Commodo/Markmrw
        Spider of the Week: Cripple (146-67, 116-64)
        Honorable Mention: Spezza (118-64), Dreamwin (85-20), WBM (102-60), Davy (86-22), Henry Saari (123-42)

        Player of the Week: Commodo

        Leading Gryffindor to a 5-1 start to the season, Commodo put up a 13-6 in TWDT-D, 17-2 in TWDT-J, and 3.2 RPD in a pair of TWDT-B wins in shark and is your Week 1 Player of the Week!

        Runner-Up: Rough

        Rough also led his team to a 5-1 start, going 1:1 in warbird, dropping a 15-8 in javelin, and putting up 95-56 and 68-28 scores in spider.
        Last edited by ogron; 07-15-2019, 09:36 AM.
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        • #5
          thanks for doing this og, good stuff as usual

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          • #6
            Good read
            Best warbird to ever enter trenchwars

            Comment


            • #7
              My favorite line: Other people desperately searching for a 6: Vys's Tinder profile.
              In game alias: mvp

              twdt-b 2017 finalist
              twlb 2020 and 2023 champ cheerleader
              twdt-b 2020 and 2021 champ

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              • #8
                Lol, yeah that ^ was ace. Nice read!
                You come at the King, you best not miss.

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                • #9
                  Great read and mostly done for us to read Monday morning at work haha. Good job
                  1:waven> u challenge
                  1:waven> if i challenge it looks too scary

                  Originally posted by MHz
                  Hope you contract ebola from your, no doubt cheap, Easter Egg, you fucking shit-jav, pug-faced cunt.

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                  • #10
                    ty ty.

                    hot or not is now complete!


                    Disclaimer: hot or not is for entertainment purposes only, please don't take the Nots too seriously : )
                    top 100 basers list

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                    • #11
                      I really laughed at that museum stuff.. lmao

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                      • #12
                        Thanks for doing this Ogron, also for the recruitment and for finding captains, the Dark Lord Ease can be proud. Concerning my team I've been really proud of Vys, we lost our both warbird games but he was great, concentrate and with a huge attitude, claiming it's his fault when it's not, because he take the responsability in DTD. Solid in jav and incredible during our last base game. I was alone under, Myollnir decided to not follow Zizzo's order. But Vys took care of both above and under AND has victimized the ennemy terr, I felt like my job was easy thanks to him. Also proud of Morph, he just carried me into a javelin victory with manner, others great performers of the week in javelin had no "Hellrazor" to complicate their task. And my captain Zizzo has been awesome in the base game we won. Even if our week were not very successful, we only lack 1 point compare to others and I believe in my team, we have a big potential.

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                        • #13
                          This was all spot on to be fair.

                          At least give me a shout out of the Not of the week in the players of the week!
                          Ogron - "Lifetime Achievement Award recipient for 10* attitude [Ardour]"

                          ranked #2 in ogrons signature of: TWL's most irrelevant nobodies pubtrash bozos with 0 titles.

                          TWLD Season 19 #70th Best Warbird
                          TWLB Season 19 #56th Best Spider

                          TW Greatest no-shipper 2002 - Present

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                          • #14
                            Well done man, was enjoyable
                            4:cripple> everyone DOWNLOAD my cheat engine it removes .5 sec off ur respawn and adds a 3rd into regen energy link is here: www.pornhub.com/man.kills.fly.during.anal.html

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ronaldinho View Post
                              Thanks for doing this Ogron, also for the recruitment and for finding captains, the Dark Lord Ease can be proud. Concerning my team I've been really proud of Vys, we lost our both warbird games but he was great, concentrate and with a huge attitude, claiming it's his fault when it's not, because he take the responsability in DTD. Solid in jav and incredible during our last base game. I was alone under, Myollnir decided to not follow Zizzo's order. But Vys took care of both above and under AND has victimized the ennemy terr, I felt like my job was easy thanks to him. Also proud of Morph, he just carried me into a javelin victory with manner, others great performers of the week in javelin had no "Hellrazor" to complicate their task. And my captain Zizzo has been awesome in the base game we won. Even if our week were not very successful, we only lack 1 point compare to others and I believe in my team, we have a big potential.
                              You did more than what we expected. Good week man and good attitude.
                              Best warbird to ever enter trenchwars

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