Mafia 2020 #3: 14 Stories Above the Sea

[Vehicle]

You know what. Fuck it. Ixt or Paul are going to change their vote to me at the last minute to switch it to 5-4 me. Thanks edify for forcing my hand you dumb fuck.

This is the death note I jokingly wrote about myself last night when the score was 3/3 Beast/Me. I was going to post it and then I refreshed and someone had swapped votes so I saved it for later:

They always hated her, what with her long blond hair, big blue eyes and doctorate from the University of Pheonix. They said she wasn't qualified, that she couldn't do the job because she was a woman, that she wasn't fit to handle a weapon, that she couldn't bring her AR-15 on the boat, all because her ex-husband mysteriously went missing and she inherited his money and his tiger zoo.

So when Hank and Hank, a pair of twin brothers so dumb that if you put their brains together you'd swear they were triplets, walked in on Jackie polishing her unlicensed, unregistered Tomahawk missile in her cabin, Jackie knew she was fucked.

The boys gathered the crew on the deck, or they did as best they could when you took into consideration the hunchbacked Hank's lisp and the club-footed Hank's inability to use stairs. Some of the crew were drunk, some were hungover, all were blinded by their desire to get off the boat while using as few brain cells as possible.

Jackie, the ship's security guard, made her case, mostly by wildly pointing the finger at people for their own past transgressions. The crew had heard enough, she was sentenced to die. Jeff Probst took Jackie's tribal flame and spoke those solemn words as he dunked it into the shallow end of the pool with the water slide on Deck 3: "The crew has spoken."

And then they drowned her in like a Bioshock Infinite way where they each sort of held down different parts of her body while chanting "would you kindly."
The crew would never know that as well as having a certain love of missiles and missile-based pariphenalia, she also had a love for Exalt.

While on duty both nights she sat and watched, worried first about his mental state and then about his safety. The first night no one came, but on the second night she saw them, the_paul and ixt, enter his cabin with what looked like a bottle of rum. It had broken her heart, Exalt had once again choosen his raging alcoholism over her, and she returned to her cabin and held her Tomahawk missile while she cried herself to sleep.

On the morning of Day 3 she found out he was gone forever. She hadn't yet learned that she would soon join him.

So either ixt is lying or the_paul sacrificed backwards to coast his way to the end.

This is backed up by my first two votes of the phase: first paul, then ixt.

Beast, Voth, paul/ixt are the scum team. I just wanted to actually make it to the end of a game for once.

[Voth]

Oh wow how shocking that Edify, the guy who very nearly got lynched yesterday until a last minute vote swap to PF, "bites" onto Voth's call to action despite giving zero evidence to my scumminess.

Edify, I am town. That is all I'm comfortable saying today, ask me again tomorrow if I get that far.

Rofl. I'll say two things here:

1. Vehicle isn't dumb.

2. I can't remember how he used to play ages ago, but he is the same whiny bitch this game as he was last game. And he was scum.

And anyone not taking out the trash (Vehicle) right now is puzzling me tremendously.





but look how townie he has looked all phase guys....



like I'm gonna throw myself out there like this if im
scum. Nice one.

[Vehicle]

Oh wow how shocking that Edify, the guy who very nearly got lynched yesterday until a last minute vote swap to PF, "bites" onto Voth's call to action despite giving zero evidence to my scumminess.

Edify, I am town. That is all I'm comfortable saying today, ask me again tomorrow if I get that far.

[Edify]

Also what are we thinking the mafia cell size is? 3 townies for every 1 mafia, plus an SK and another third party? I wouldn't put it past Willby to have an odd and even night SK.

If mafia cell size is 3 then they have 2 now.

It wouldn't be very much visible infighting for 2 people especially if one is inactive. Maybe that's too few mafia for a game of this size. 4?

[Edify]

As far as I know, we haven't heard a role claim from Vehicle yet. Care to share?

[Edify]

This is mafia 101 fellas - no activity and no infighting this close to a lynch means it's a townie lynch on the table.

Get off your asses and vote Vehicle or fuck off.

Fine. I'll bite. Unvote Beast. Vote Vehicle.

[Vehicle]

Wow this guy has taken to @'ing people to try to save his scum buddy. This is a new level of desperation.

Explain to me again why people should vote for me Voth? Oh wait, no one's given any sort of explanation at all yet even though I've asked twice.

My fellow townsmen, I ask you to take a hard look at my behavior during this day phase and then to look at Voth's behavior and ask yourself who seems more suspicious?

[Voth]

I can just see the scum chat right now pondering who is an easy townie lynch for today and aiming for the biggest moron in the game. That's saying a lot, by the way. That is quite an honor with the signup list we had. And it makes him the easiest path to a "well... he was acting like a moron" response when he flips town. I hope people wake up and realize this is utterly ridiculous soon.

It's what I would do if I was scum. For sure. He makes himself too easy to kill for the scum team.

[Voth]

I can just see the scum chat right now pondering who is an easy townie lynch for today and aiming for the biggest moron in the game. That's saying a lot, by the way. That is quite an honor with the signup list we had. And it makes him the easiest path to a "well... he was acting like a moron" response when he flips town. I hope people wake up and realize this is utterly ridiculous soon.

[Voth]

Whatever man you’re just PLEADING your case for me to not protect you and keep you alive

Don't do me any favors. I doubt you're town but you play just as retarded every game so it's impossible to read. I don't need your imaginary protections little guy - if I die, I die! It's mafia. Way to ignore everything I said and just add a bullshit threat, by the way. Any chance you'd like to tell the class why you voted Beast today, or is that super secret mafia stuff? Shouldn't be too hard to use your words.... as I say to my toddler.

[ixt]

Maybe I’ll just grant that wish HEY MAFIA VOTH WILL BE UNPROTECTED FREE FOR NK!

[Voth]

And BTW, if I have not made myself clear, it's time
to vote Vehicle if you're town.
Kassius Edify the_paul Halp kthx @whoever else is on a dumb wagon

[ixt]

Whatever man you’re just PLEADING your case for me to not protect you and keep you alive

[Voth]

vote beast

This struck me as very much a "nail in the coffin" vote from a scum team member. No activity really today and this guy who normally has diarrhea of the mouth nonstop only chimes in to drop a vote on the front runner to further his prospects of being lynched.

Remember Exalt guys? Who was town and the exact role he told us he was? Remember when he said if he dies to lynch ixt?

Strongman is a possibility, but ixt is far from clear. And this vote was extremely scummy.

Anyone who doesn't see this is either a retard or not paying attention.

[Voth]

God damnit, I do not like the way this day phase is shaking out

Yup. Because the scum probably have an easy town lynch pending, even if he is our least valuable player, regardless of role. Brain damage does crazy things.

Anyway, the scum team is coasting right now. Vehicle is a smart enough mafia player to at least acknowledge and sympathize with you about the lack of activity leading up to a lynch deadline.

This is mafia 101 fellas - no activity and no infighting this close to a lynch means it's a townie lynch on the table.

Get off your asses and vote Vehicle or fuck off.