Dying is the new living...

[SaucyKing]

Who the fuck is it already

[Subjugation]

Best Gimmick Account 2005

Word.

[Dameon Angell]

They're so going to hell, and I'm going to ask God for forgiveness for laughing at it .... .... damn.

[Kim]

Dang I know who it is, but I cheated

[cundor]

L A M E !

Tell us -_-

[Squeezer]

fuck.

I'll see you guys in hell.

[Nickname]

I was told of this before hand

still funny.

[demon girl]

Rofl!!
Now to finish the transaction just sign a paper here saying that you commit your soul to the devil :wub:

[Ewan]

What happened to the "no forum gimmicks"?

[Liquid Blue]

They're so going to hell, and I'm going to ask God for forgiveness for laughing at it .... .... damn.

Wow is that a trannie angel in your avatar?

[Scoop]

derrrrr

Thats not funny MOTHER FUCKER :angry:

[Squeezer]

What happened to the "no forum gimmicks"?

come on, This one is just sooooooo funny. Couldn't we let it slide?

[bloodzombie]

You're all wrong.. it was Mitch Hedberg. In case you don't know, he was a very funny man.. really young, not sure how old, but I'd guess mid-thirties.

Here's some quotes to remember him by

Because of [dropping] acid, I know now that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut...Some skeptical friend, don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here...oh wait it's back home in the file...under "D", for doughnut.

I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah, reminds me of summer time, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like mine.

I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. Perhaps I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store oftentimes I will drop it, so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again" because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...

I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

I saw a six pack of soda-pop for $1.20. That price fucks with your head, man. Because then I thought that I would start selling soda-pop. Suddenly I got things of pop with me. "What's going on, Mitch." "Not much, looking to buy some pop? Fifty cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half assed commitment."

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "Its cool, he's with me."

You know they call corn on the cob, corn on the cob, but that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that corn, they should call every other version corn off the cob. It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call it Mitch. Then reattach it and call me Mitch-all-together...

I like swiss cheese. It's the only cheese you can draw with a pencil and identify.

[hogo]

You're all wrong.. it was Mitch Hedberg. In case you don't know, he was a very funny man.. really young, not sure how old, but I'd guess mid-thirties.

Here's some quotes to remember him by

Because of [dropping] acid, I know now that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut...Some skeptical friend, don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here...oh wait it's back home in the file...under "D", for doughnut.

I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah, reminds me of summer time, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like mine.

I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. Perhaps I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store oftentimes I will drop it, so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again" because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...

I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

I saw a six pack of soda-pop for $1.20. That price fucks with your head, man. Because then I thought that I would start selling soda-pop. Suddenly I got things of pop with me. "What's going on, Mitch." "Not much, looking to buy some pop? Fifty cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half assed commitment."

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "Its cool, he's with me."

You know they call corn on the cob, corn on the cob, but that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that corn, they should call every other version corn off the cob. It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call it Mitch. Then reattach it and call me Mitch-all-together...

I like swiss cheese. It's the only cheese you can draw with a pencil and identify.

why why why does that name sound so familiar!!

[Squeezer]

Mitch Hedberg is the funniest comedian alive.

I saw him live with Steven Lynch, and my sides hurt for like 2 days.

But, wtf does Mitch have to do with this thread?