A day in the life of Squeezer

[ZeUs!!]

I woke up at 7am. God why can't I lie in until 9am? I'm a failure. Had a wash and looked at my grotesque face in the mirror; I'm going to die a virgin. Decided to put two pairs of socks on today as it was quite cold outside, I'm such a pussy. Rode to school on the bus and only 1 girl looked at me, but she's really ugly and was probably trying to work out whether my nose is prosthetic or not. Man I can't wait until my next wank. Lessons seemed to take forever and I bet I learned nothing at all which will hinder any social progress I stand to make in later life. Wait I don't have a life. Only got two sandwiches for lunch, conclusive proof that my mother hates me. Also noticed that the rafters in the lunch hall have sufficient room to fix some rope around. The hot girl from the year above asked me out but I know she's just being ironic so I turned her down. Spent the next two lessons doodling planning how to best ambush that girl and make her pay for taking the piss out of me. The kids on the bus all sang happy birthday to me on the ride home and gave me presents, although they all hate me and just guessed it was my birthday. I put a drawing pin in Steve's sandwich wasn't looking. Got home and jizzed EVERYWHERE. Spent the evening reflecting my life on an internet forum. I know I'm only 17 but this is exactly what the rest of my life will be like. Lindsay Lohan hates me

Chin up chum!

[Subjugation]

zoose is a super meanie.

[Superted]

Wow, when I read that I couldn't help but make so many comparisons with my own life....lol, oh dear Oh well, I'll grow out of it....or so my psychiatrist says.

[cundor]

"Squeezer's Life" yeah right

[ZeUs!!]

This isn't meant to insult anyone, just to show that maybe his life isn't as bad as he's making out

[scumbag]

funny funny stuff, well done Zeus.

cant wait till Squeezer sees it, just think of the reply

[Verthanthi]

I would just like to point out that Squeezer is an American and thus would not say wank. Otherwise, well done.

[wadi]

I would just like to point out that Squeezer is an American and thus would not say wank. Otherwise, well done.

The US term is "jack it"

[Pandagirl!]

Haha I read that and laughed so loud... except the classroom was dead silent. Poor Squeezer

[Subjugation]

The US term is "jack it"

Which is why sometimes Mexicans will use the pun "chaqueta", which actually means "jacket".

So if you're called a chaquetador, you'll know what's up.

[scumbag]

The US term is "jack it"

i thought the American term was "jerk off", or am i hearing it wrong

[Dameon Angell]

jackin off, jerkin off, jackin it, jerkin it, to jerk it, to jack it

[Mr. Peanuts]

Aww, I was hoping for a bit of pandagirl in that, Zeus.

[Pearl Jam]

Lindsay Lohan hates me

this is the cherry on the sundae

[Facetious]

jackin off, jerkin off, jackin it, jerkin it, to jerk it, to jack it

expert, eh?