Bad Idea...

[Ryder]

One of the stupidest things I have done but hey, I'm banned from trenchwars and had nothing better to do...I did in a state of drunken hornyness.After seven homemade tequilla benders,I went upstairs to begin a very very long session of humpin my pillow.After several minutes,I was exhausted and out of juice.Thats when I spoted the incense next to my bed. I grabed it and inserted the narrow end into my penis.Then, in what was probaly a stroke of drunken genius,I lit the other end,thinking that the erotic sensation of a flaming scented piece of wood would really get me off.Unfortunately,I was more tired after the pillow session than I realized,and in my drunken state,I passed out with the incense still inserted into my manhood.When I woke up, the incense had burned all the way down and effectively cauterized my penis.No way in, no way out.To add insult to injury,the remaining shard of incense had contracted too far in for me to move my legs without sharp, wrenching,stabbing,burning pain.It really,really hurt!!I had to go to the ER and get my penis effectively reopened at the tip,as well as have surgery to remove the loose piece of incense from my galbladder.However,after spending a week in traction and then walking around with a safety hold in my dick to stop the burns from healing together and cutting off my opening,I am none the worse for wear other than a small scar and a strange new phobia of scented products.I am never introducing a foreign object into such a vital part of my anatomy ever again...

[Capital Knockers]

I'm glad your here there to see that we never face such an unfortunate act of drunken stupidity. No promises tho

[Subjugation]

Not at all interesting. eff

[Superted]

Another strong case for evolution.

[Darius Winds]

Another strong case for evolution.

natural selection not evolution
evolution would be the transition of this story from intro to spiraling all the way to the bottom of whogivesafuckville.

[Zerzera]

Someone forgot to mention the source of his joke.
As far as I can see it's taken from '31 Very Bad Masturbation Ideas'. #28.

It's called plagiarism.

[Ephemeral]

owned

[Troll King]

Let's just tell him he's a real bad ass and hopefully he'll finally stop trying to convince us.

[Pandagirl!]

If that were true... I can't even think of something to end this sentence, so never mind.

[BleakFuture]

Maybe we could get him to try freebasing something amusing like fish food flakes. So then we could see how long it takes for him to die from something associated with inhaling burning fish flakes....

[Edify]

even if it was complete bullshit, it made me squirm while reading it. :fear:

[Dealt]

I wish I could even pretend to be such a mong to make people on an internet game like/admire/love/respect me.. good luck mangled penis boy.

[Kim]

Sick of your nonsensical drab, Drastwing

[Drastwing]

Umm...

I beg your pardon? I am not Ryder. Please check again.

[Theif of Time]

If that were true... I can't even think of something to end this sentence, so never mind.

how does

asghdfjkalgsdnfrmcsiyoag,

sound?