So, you want a story?

[ÆNIMA]

Well, what kind of story do you want?

I have personal ones, 2nd hand ones, old ones, and questionable ones. And they revolve around many different topics.

[ZeUs!!]

Good ones?

[Jeenyuss]

Questionable ones
-----------------Transvestite Hookers

[Evasive]

the last thing i want is a story

[Richard Creager]

N0000000000!!!

[RATTY...]

Where's the story?

[Nockm]

You have to earn the right to get a story

[Jeenyuss]

N0000000000!!!

TH0SE WERE ZER0S <_<

[Liquid Blue]

Ones that involve russian clowns and ninja robots.

[Dant-Zu]

Tell me about a princess and a prince and an evil dragon who was only seeking for someone to hug him.

[3d.]

Settle down children, please sir, tell us the legendary story of Bangkok Chick Boys!!

[Squeezer]

I like Dave Attel's stand up, because all it is is funny stories.

[Pooh Bear]

always ask the crippled for directions because they know they shortcuts

[ÆNIMA]

Ok, since I'm afriad that this is going to get sent to useless crap, I'll post up some kind of story.

Mind you, the suspense is not nearly as good as if I were telling you this in person. Story telling is a great skill that can be acquired.

This is something that happened somewhere in the Ural mountains, which city, I don't recall. The names of the people, not important. But for the sake of understanding, I'll give you a little lesson in our terminology. Male missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are given the title 'Elder,' and to distinguish from other Elders, we use our last names. For example, mine was Elder McVay. Female missionaries go by the title 'Sister.' Never will you see a young elder and a young sister together as companions. It's always elder elder, sister sister. Unless it's an older, retired couple who's married.

So, Elders are always dressed up in a white shirt and tie, and depending on weather, a suit coat. In Russia, this makes them very recognizeable because everyone usually wears darker colors and only businessmen and mafia wear ties. So there are two elders walking down the street and a group of Russians sitting at a stoop call out to them, "hey americans!" And the Russians asked more or less politely for them to come talk to them. So the missionaries go and they start talking about America and answering all the same questions, "how much money do you make?" "is America better?" Then a black BMW SUV pulls up, a Russian says, "uh-oh it's the boss." A man with slicked-back hair steps out of the driver's side and starts approaching the group. Catching a glance of the two Americans, he turns back and grabs a pistol from inside the SUV. Walking towards the group again, he stops in his tracks, looks at the pistol and shakes his head. He then sticks it in his belt and walks around to the back of the BMW. The man opens up the trunk and pulls out an assault rifle. He points it at one of the Elders. Afterward recalling the event, the elder said, "I just sat there waiting for the bullet to go through my head."

The man then laughs out loud and places the rifle back in the SUV, slamming the door shut. He walks up to the group and after some conversation, offers the two americans a ride home. They kindly decline explaining they can walk or take public transport. The man insists and says, "I'm taking you home." Aware of the pistol adjacent to the man's crotch, the elders agree. He drives them, and dropped them off where they asked. Obviously not where they really live.

That's where it ends. This happened probably less than a year before I go to the country in 2004.

[Miku19]

Sounds awesome