What?

[Liquid Blue]

This isn't going to be worded as well as some of my other topics, I'm not exactly sure how to get this topic across, to get these questions across, to achieve the answers I'm looking for. Scroll to the bottom for the questions that I want you to answer, they are in bold.

I'm 20 years old. As far back as I can remember, I've been taking care of people, leading them, keeping them happy, doing things for my peers. When I was little I usually thought of the random games to play outside, got everyone together to build the snow forts and have the epic snowball fights or neighborhood wide hide-and-seek matches. When I hit highschool with my stable group of friends, they eventually started looking to me to decide where to go for the weekend, what to do when we were bored, I usually listened to them when they needed someone to talk to, when they needed an ear. According to my best friend's little sister (who I've known for like 6 years, she's grown up always seeing me around), I'm the guy that people can't be sad around, I'm the one that cheers everyone up, I'm Steven, I'm the guy that makes everything better.

Here's my problem. Most of my friends are in college, are in relationships, and for the most part don't need to rely on me as much as they used to. One is on a continuing downard spiral of drugs and self-denial/destruction, the path that already claimed another one of our old close friends. I can't help him though, none of the people in our circle have been able to leave a lasting impression on him with our words of advice, even his father can't get through to him. I want to connect with people, I want to show them the heights that they can reach, inspire them to go after their full potential, give them motivation- but how can I do that when one of my good friends is constantly getting worse off?

I've heard the age old advice that some people can't be helped until they want to get better, that I can't help everyone, etc etc. It's even been brought to my attention that I should start trying to help myself in order to truly help others (I have my problems like everyone, apparentally I've helped other people so I wouldn't have to focus on my own stuff).

It's just that I've been in the leader/protector/caretaker position for so long, I've had the role thrust upon me even though it seems like the role I've been meant to take (or is that a result of me constantly having to do it? I don't know) - I don't really know what to do to feel alive. Like you've probably read in my motivation topic, I've lost steam again, I'm in a slump again. It's not just with school, now that I have time to look inward and ask myself what I want, I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want to be, what I want to become. I only know that I want to help people and work with their emotions through my animations, but beyond that, I have nothing, nadda. I don't know. So my questions to you are:

What do you want to do with your life?

What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what? (you don't have to stick to one classification, I know it would be impossible to be 100% anything)

What makes you feel alive?

What do you cherish?

Why do you get out of bed every morning?

What do you think you're going to do with your life?

What are your goals?

What do you think makes you, you?

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?

What are your fears?




Maybe this is just a "middle of the road of life" type thing going on, I don't know. Serious responses are appreciated.

[Ilya]

What do you want to do with your life? live it

What do you think you are? human

What makes you feel alive? driving around not going anywhere

What do you cherish? my ho

Why do you get out of bed every morning? what else is there to do?

What do you think you're going to do with your life? live it.. didn't i answer that already?

What are your goals? to matter

What do you think makes you, you? my personality, duh

What do you think I could do to understand what I want? what the fuck does that mean?

What are your fears? comets, failure, erectile dysfunction

man that shit made me think. now my head hurts

[Bilbo]

Like you I am 20 years old but I'm a good-for-nothing and I have not accomplished a thing. I have no useful education, I proscratinate easy schoolwork to the point of almost getting dropped from courses.

What do you want to do with your life?

I have thought about this sometimes and I could say that I want to become a kickass fighter and make a lot of money, marry an idol and retire early my only realistic goal in life is get in shape and get an easy job which pays decent money so I can afford my hobbies.

What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what? (you don't have to stick to one classification, I know it would be impossible to be 100% anything)

A rebel I guess? I have problems with authority and people who think they are important.

What makes you feel alive?

A new berryz promotional video. I have few hobbies and they are what keep me going.

What do you cherish?

Family, pets and probably my computer + contents.

Why do you get out of bed every morning?

Because my dad will kick my ass otherwise. But my days are pretty boring by other peoples standards. The first thing I do in the morning is turn on the computer.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?

For society? Not much. For myself? Not enough.

What are your goals?

My current goal is to get a decent body before autumn. It's something I feel I have to do for myself, too long have I sat on my ass and risked diabetes. I haven't thought longer than that, I want to take one thing at a time.

What do you think makes you, you?

I'm sorry, I don't know how to answer your question. But if I had to say something I've noticed a difference between you and me. While you worry a lot about the future and how to express yourself I am more easy going and take it as it comes. I don't have any way of expressing myself but I am content that way.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?

I might possibly be the worst person in the world to help you with this, but my guess would be that you should use your motivation to improve yourself instead of others.

What are your fears?

While I feel that I don't really need other people I'm afraid I'll die without ever entering a serious relationship. I have trouble opening up to people and I don't really know if there are many girls who would like a guy like me, even if I was more attractive. I'm hoping I'll gain more confidence with a better body.

[Bilbo]

Damn, you made me think a bit and feel bad for my future. Usually I don't think about it and I keep myself occupied with other things.

[Kolar]

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?

What are your fears?

Because the rest is rather complicated and I'm still young, figuring it out myself I'll answer these two. Find out what makes you happy and expand on it.

My greatest fear is not death, not pain or loss of monetary goods, family ect.. it is the entire destruction of human civilization. I don't mean that in ways the right wingers like to spin the gay issue but having this planet's ability to support life threatened and or the destruction of our society (I.E the second dark age).

Generally I am not a person to look ahead so I don't set in "stone" goals to reach most of the time. I have things I wish to acomplish but I do not verbalize it or write it down.

[RATTY...]

Seems like you put a lot of time into this, so I'll answer it seriously either thats your pet name for LB or I just banned you for a month as you've already had a week long ban for racism -zeus.

Studying right now, the only reason that I study at all is because I want to do something back for the society.

What do you want to do with your life?

What I really want is to marry someone nice with loads of money so I don't need to do anything. Or be a big pop idol in Japan.

What do you think you are?

A thinker, but take the role as a leader if its needed.
I use to sit back and observe people, but when I think of it, I get agressive loads of times, and get into fights. So.. its kinda hard to describe myself with a few words

What makes you feel alive?

Laughing, having fun.

What do you cherish?

Friends and family

Why do you get out of bed every morning?

Since the society wants me to, I would sit on my ass and do nothing if I could.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?

Finish my economy study (Sivilingeniør, which translates to Civil Econom). Get a job somewhere, or I'll move to my uncle and work for him if I can't (God forbid) finish my education. Have a nice girl, house, car and kids

What are your goals?

To live a happy life and not do a shit when I get old.

What do you think makes you, you?

I'm calm and I'm super cute. So people are always relaxed around me, and always come to talk to me when they got problems. I like listening and giving advise to people.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?

Talk a walk in the forest or pet your pet til you get tired. Or sleep.

What are your fears?

To be steril and not be able to pass my awesome genes on (no joke)

And to die young before I'm able to experience all kinds of things

EDIT: fixed something

[Hero*]

What do you want to do with your life?
play in the NHL
What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what? (you don't have to stick to one classification, I know it would be impossible to be 100% anything)
Im a leader
What makes you feel alive?
playing hockey
What do you cherish?
my $350 hockey stick and $600 hockey skates
Why do you get out of bed every morning?
to play hockey
What do you think you're going to do with your life?
play hockey
What are your goals?
to make it into the NHL
What do you think makes you, you?
my personality?
What do you think I could do to understand what I want?
look in your innerself
What are your fears?
to get injured.

[Superted]

Like you and Bilbo, I am also 20. For the past 4 years I've lived a hopeless life, taking one day at a time, all equally similiar. They've gone to waste.

What do you want to do with your life?

To be honest I have absolutly no idea. I only have short term plans for now (uni) but after that I haven't a clue. I say to myself that it's best not to make plans, as they always fail.

What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what? (you don't have to stick to one classification, I know it would be impossible to be 100% anything)

In a group I'm almost always the quiet yet logical thinker type guy. If the group is small and the leadership sucks I usually become the leader.

What makes you feel alive?

Won't answer this one as I'm likely to be flamed.

What do you cherish?

My niece:

Why do you get out of bed every morning?

See above 2 questions.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?

Same as first question really, I've no idea.

What are your goals?

I was about to say 'none, again' but then I realised I have one; to tour the world. However, I fear that when that's done I won't have any other goals, I'll be a shell again.

What do you think makes you, you?

My poor sense of humour I suppose.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?

If I knew that I wouldn't be in this boat, I guess you just need to find yourself.

What are your fears?

I sometimes say that I am fearless but I always forget about the simple things like the fear of losing my mind or my limbs. I guess both boil down to losing independence.

[RATTY...]

fuck, something wrong happened, remove this post

[Displaced]

I'm also 20, and still somewhat "lost" after my transition from a well protected environment with friends and family, to coming to a new place where I'm still quite "alone", and not having the support network I'm used to.

What do you want to do with your life?
Realistically, I'd like to get into aviation, and hope to get accepted into the Air Traffic Controller course at avia-college, from there on graduate, and control the friendly skies for a while, after which, look into becoming a commercial pilot.

Unrealistically, I want to drive either F1 or Rally, but I dont really have the funds to start driving race cars or rally cars here.

What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what?
I dont really know what to class myself as, but something of a doormat smartass braniac fighter. Defining oneself seems to be pretty hard, since its quite situational.

I get myself into trouble because I overthink things, yet I often find myself just "gowing with the flow", Im also relatively smart, but only if the subject matter is something I find interesting...

What makes you feel alive?
Emotion... be it love, pain, joy, resentment, glee, or hate.

What do you cherish?
Is it too cliché to say life? (which is sortof ironic coming from me)

Why do you get out of bed every morning?
Because not getting out of bed doesn't change anything.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?
I don't have an answer for this either, I'd like to think I'll do something I fancy doing, and be happy doing it, but if I'm being realistic, I'll probably work some dead end job and lead an unfulfilling life.

What are your goals?
To live life, not squander it.

What do you think makes you, you?
My experiences, the places I've seen, people I've known, cultures I've been subjected to

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?
I don't know, enlighten me when you find out.
I do find that driving in the rain helps me think, give that a shot.

What are your fears?
Hurting myself & others, being inept.

[Troll King]

Before I answer those questions you posed, LB, I want to give you one piece of advice about your situation. I often find myself in the same role you described for yourself. I wouldn't classify it as a leadership role per se. You're more like a hub, the one who everyone connects to and who keeps them together. Like you, I'm the kind of guy who you can't really feel sad, or even stressed, around. I like to think I help to diffuse those feelings.

At the same time, with regards to your friend's situation, there is a danger of feeling like you need to continue to play that role when you don't need to always be "on", and also a danger of feeling too responsible when things go wrong. You're going in the right direction by recognizing that you can't help everyone and you may have also been performing this role to avoid dealing with your own problems. I went through something very similar a few years ago.

What I did was set a plan for self-improvement. I determined some of my flaws and like new year's resolutions, every year I set out to address one of those flaws. Continue to develop yourself. I feel I am a much better person today than I was a few years ago because of my decision to address my flaws.You can still be that hub for your circle of friends, but be understanding if you find people are pulling farther away from you. At this stage in your lives, that's common and sometimes necessary.

What do you want to do with your life?
I want to create something that others, people I may not know, people who may even live years after I'm gone, will appreciate and remember. That creation may take on different forms: it could be a novel, a film, a song, or a child. All that's important is that people will remember me by it.

What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what? (you don't have to stick to one classification, I know it would be impossible to be 100% anything)

I never considered myself to be a leader. As I wrote in another thread recently, I always thought I'd make a better lieutenant than a captain. Now though, I find myself more comfortable playing a leadership role.
I'm a consummate team player. My motto should be "take one for the team" because I often do. In sports terms, if life were baseball, I'd be the catcher. If life were hockey, I'd be the shot-blocking defenceman. If life were football, I'd be an offensive lineman. It's in that kind of context that I consider myself a leader.

What makes you feel alive?
I feel truly alive when I feel inspired to create.

What do you cherish?
I cherish my family and friends.

Why do you get out of bed every morning?
I get out of bed because the world will pass me by if I don't.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?
I want to write for a living.

What are your goals?
To be remembered.

What do you think makes you, you?
People feel that they can trust me. I have a calming influence on others. And at the same time, I work hard to show that I deserve that trust.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?
See above.

What are your fears?
I am afraid of dying alone.



Maybe this is just a "middle of the road of life" type thing going on, I don't know. Serious responses are appreciated.

[Pandagirl!]

What do you want to do with your life?
-Who knows. When I get older I know I want to have a family, have some kids, and then adopt some kids. Other than that, no idea.

What do you think you are? A leader, a brainiac, a rebel, a smart-ass, a thinker, a fighter, what? (you don't have to stick to one classification, I know it would be impossible to be 100% anything)
-I'm a super huge combination. I'm the girl who, when working in a group project, will assign everyone their tasks to do in the project. Then, I'll go home and do most of the project anyway. I'm the one who will finish a project or a paper months before it's due.

What makes you feel alive?
-Mornings. I love waking up in the morning to a fresh new day.

What do you cherish?
-My family. My boyfriend. My animals.

Why do you get out of bed every morning?
-Because I'm a morning person! I love waking up to a new day; anything can happen.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?
-Isn't this the same as the first question? Well in that case, get married and start a family.

What are your goals?
-I want to rock the SATs and ACTs and get a full ride scholarship to college. I want to spend the rest of my life with my current boyfriend. I want to adopt kids and die as a happy grandmother.

What do you think makes you, you?
-I'm such a positive person. I'm bouncing off the walls in the morning without any influences such a coffee. I'm always happy and always smiling. I love cheering up people around me.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?
-Whenever I need to figure something out I post a blog on myspace. I do this when I'm angry, sad, confused, you name it. It really helps to type everything out and just vent. Just don't forget to set it as private. ^-^

What are your fears?
-Failing. Looking back at my life, I've only failed one thing in my life. Out of everything I've tried to do, it was the only thing I hadn't succeeded at. Yea, my driving test. I passed the second time though. Also, snakes and spiders. Spiders I can be around, but I will freak out. If you get a snake near me though, I will faint.

[Galleleo]

mwah.. nvm.

[Abatis]

What do you want to do with your life?
Get a fun job, own a nice house, and raise a family that I can be friends with, not the dictator of, which sometimes seems what some men view family is.

What do you think you are?
A maverick. Not exactly a rebel, because I try not to break the rules, but I do anything to set myself apart, whether it's walking at a different pace than everyone or listening to different music or whatever. I don't like leading, because it means people are following and I'm no longer different. I realize I'm sounding like a goth, but I'm not.

What makes you feel alive?
Originality/creativity. Telling a good joke or story. Writing something new that inspires or amuses or makes people think.

What do you cherish?
My music, my mother, and my friends.

Why do you get out of bed every morning?
Because I hope that someday I'll have something to get out of bed for.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?
Do mediocore in college, because of a weak work ethic when it comes to doing stuff that doesn't interest me, but doing well enough to graduate and get a decent job. I think I'll do pretty well if I get a job that I like, and I think I'll have family. Btw, the difference between this and the earlier question is what do you want and what do you think you will do with your life.

What are your goals?
Finish college. Get a job. Get married, happily, faithfully, etc.

What do you think makes you, you?
My individuality, my humor. My intellect. I seem to think along a different path than others.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?
Talk to friends. Pray/meditate. Read something. Do something, (i.e. something not on the computer, like playing a sport or finding a new hobby.) Start trying to get something and learn to want it later, like getting promoted at your job or something.

What are your fears?
Not finishing college and ending up aimless without a college degree or anything.

[Jeenyuss]

What do you want to do with your life?
I want to act, or something along those lines with drama. This year especially has been really hard for me because I've begun to realize reality. Everything has been put into perspective. To quote Fight Club, "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars". However, I'd like to think I have the urge to make it. I know it won't be easy, but there's always hope.

What do you think you are?
I'm not sure what I am, I know what I'm like though. I'm quick to get angry and even quicker to apologize. I can usually cheer people up, if not that then I try to help them. I'm one of the loudest when I'm with someone that I'm comfortable with, regardless of situation. Yet when I'm with new people I'm incredibly shy. I'm smart, I'm greatful for it. I like to be strange, abstract and different. I don't like to be defined.

What makes you feel alive?
Music, laughter, anxiety, improv.

What do you cherish?
Family, friends, fuck I don't know.

Why do you get out of bed every morning?
Often I don't. I think it's just about as important to not get out of bed as it is to get out of bed. When I stay home from school I enjoy a lot of the things I normally wouldn't. Reading the paper, Bob Barker, the shadow my house casts at 9 in the morning.

What do you think you're going to do with your life?
Ahh, the sad reality. Probably something with math or sciences. Hell I might even become a teacher like my parents and siblings. I'd rather not go this route but there should always be a Plan B.

What are your goals?
Get better health wise, if I go in for another surgery I'm not sure that I'll come out the same person.

What do you think makes you, you?
I'm not sure. This question bothered me this weekend. Someone who I don't know very well but talk to every now and then said that if it weren't for my glasses (I've got an interestin' pair of glasses) that he wouldn't recognize me from anyone else in the halls. I'm not sure if I'm just that guy that's funny n' all but so what to other people.

What do you think I could do to understand what I want?
Go for a walk by yourself and get lost.

What are your fears?
To be unordinary.