guys i quit smoking

[Money]

lol i took my road test and written test both at a private driving school, in 3 feet of snow and 6 inches of ice after the ice storm of 98' in Michigan

LB...LOL

[ConcreteSchlyrd]

lolz i took my driving test while under attack frum Russian nucleer bombs and fighting off a horde of Mongols, all with a bad case of tha snifflez. Aced that bitch, yo
<3 1luv

[Jerome Scuggs]

Louisiana driving test (wish i was joking)

You pull up to a red light. You:
1. Judge the distance, slow down, and come to a stop.
2. Slow down, look both ways, and go.
3. Come to a complete stop, look both ways, and go.
4. Ignore it. The law doesn't apply to you.

...Let's just say I missed one, and only one, question on all the tests I took.

[Pandagirl!]

On my driving test, it showed a picture of a speed limit sign that said "45" and asked what the speed limit was. There also was a picture of a stop sign and it asked what the sign meant.

I failed the driving part the first time though. Stupid maneuverability. I was in a minivan in the rain, so I couldn't use my side mirrors because of the rain on them. I was pretty much doomed. I passed the actual driving without missing any points though!

[Jeenyuss]

DIe IN A FUCKING CUNT FIRE YOU WHORING VAGINA BITCH. LET THE ACID RAIN COME DOWN AND CLEANSE US OF YOUR'RE DIRTY FUCKING PRESENCE. YOU SHOULD BE DEAD BY NOW FOR AEVERYTIHNG THAT IS SO WRONG WITH YOU WHICH THERE IS P<LENTY BECAUSE YOU ARE FUFCKIN. FUCK. FUCK>FUCKL YOGI BEAR STEALING YOUR FUCKING PICNIC BASKET WOULD BE HAL:F THE JUSTICE YOU DESERVE THE OTHER HALF WOULD BE TED NUGENT AND YOU SHARING A CROSISANT BUT YOUR HALF FULL OF CYANIDE YOU FUCKING PUGGLING SHITCOCK.

[D1st0rt]

DIe IN A FUCKING CUNT FIRE YOU WHORING VAGINA BITCH. LET THE ACID RAIN COME DOWN AND CLEANSE US OF YOUR'RE DIRTY FUCKING PRESENCE. YOU SHOULD BE DEAD BY NOW FOR AEVERYTIHNG THAT IS SO WRONG WITH YOU WHICH THERE IS P<LENTY BECAUSE YOU ARE FUFCKIN. FUCK. FUCK>FUCKL YOGI BEAR STEALING YOUR FUCKING PICNIC BASKET WOULD BE HAL:F THE JUSTICE YOU DESERVE THE OTHER HALF WOULD BE TED NUGENT AND YOU SHARING A CROSISANT BUT YOUR HALF FULL OF CYANIDE YOU FUCKING PUGGLING SHITCOCK.

at this point somebody should go over to cent's house and make sure he hasn't died laughing

[DoTheFandango]

guys I started smoking.

[Stompa]

...Let's just say I missed one, and only one, question on all the tests I took.

Was it the seatbelt question?

[Cops]

guys I started smoking.

Meg

[Stompa]

Was it the seatbelt question?

yes

[Stompa]

yes

bump

What Happens to Your body if you stop smoking Right now?

I think one of the main reasons it’s so hard to quit smoking is because all the benefits of quitting and all the dangers of continuing seem very far away. Well, here’s a little timeline about some of the more immediate effects of quitting smoking and how that will affect your body RIGHT NOW.

* In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.
* In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal.
* In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.
* In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.
* In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks.
* In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%.
* In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.
* In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
* In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
* In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.

So, you have more immediate things to look forward to if you quit now besides just freaking out about not being able to smoke.

Source:
http://healthbolt.net/2006/07/19/wha...ing-right-now/

[Newb Of TW]

well relatively

i went from three packs a day to just one cigarette today, and it sucks

the thing i'm really fighting now is, i'm hungry as fucking shit but i'm poor. TBH, cigarettes kept my food expenses down, which kept my energy bill down (stove/microwave rarely used). so, a carton of camels ($30, lasting three days) generally brought my expenses to about $5 a day for food (fast food for lunch, or ramen), and my electricity bill down to $30 a month (from $90).

so like in a given month, $300 for cigarettes, $30 for energy, and $150 for food.

before i started seriously smoking heavily, I'd do $90 for energy, and then 2 trips per month to the Grocery, $100 each, plus going out to eat. I used to have a huge appetite, so figure $20 a meal at a casual diner. Let's say that was twice a week (weekends), $160 total.

so in a given month, $90 for energy, $200 for groceries, $160 for food.

So me smoking = $480/month, me not smoking = $480.

Fuck. in my head it seemed more expensive to not smoke. But I'm seriously in the grips of some crazy something.. I feel like hyper but chill at the same time. Someone please kill me. I have $14 to my name that isn't going to go towards this months rent which I am like $150 short on anyways (though that's like 9 hours of work so give me the week kz) and there's a cigarette store right across the street. My computer desk is littered with cartons and empty boxes (I have already counted them - 34 - and none of them have a cigarette accidentally left in them). I have two wine bottles packed to the brim with cigarette butts - one Robert Mondavi, one Ecco Domani, both stolen from work and consumed.

It's 1am and I usually go to bed 2 hours ago please, someone murder me.

Dang man GJ. my dad smokes 1 pack per day and he just cant stop. 2 much stress of being an imigrant and surviving in america man. he said he will start using medicine to help him quit once he finds a job. sigh..

[Galleleo]

Can we ban this guy already?

[Richard Creager]

3 packs a day?
I smoke a lot but its a pack a day at most, and days are a rather long thing sometimes, uh, maybe longer without cigarettes but i usually wake up with one.