Scare the fuckers.

[Liquid Blue]

Had this convo with ph, face and a few others about 20 mins ago- when you're older, how would you scare the teenage boys from going out with your daughter(s)?

-Would you open the door in a wife beater, covered in tatoo's cleaning off your shotgun?

-Scare the kid by opening the door and saying "oh hello! For a second there I thought you were my parole officer"

-Offer him a beer and have a look on your face that says he shouldn't accept? Then act offended when he doesn't?

-Build robot ninja's?


I personally don't plan to be too unreasonable. My daughters will be freely allowed to bone guys when I -

A) die

B.) get too old to remember who she, or they (if I have more than one) are.


Cent came up with the idea that only the people in the chat at the time would be allowed to mess with the daughters, and afterwards we all agreed that ph still wouldn't get any

Anyway, discuss and share your creative ideas on scaring the young teenage population from your princess, forever young daughter.


Paul take tips, just a few more years and you'll have to put these in practice!

[Scurvy]

true story: Dont let the girl shave her legs until she's 'allowed to date' and she's too embarassed to get close to any guy.

mean as shit, but...whatever works

if we're getting truly creative here...

you could open the door scantily clad, call your "life partner" over and proceed to openly check out the guy.

(if your daughter is dating a black guy): answer the door wearing a michael richards mask.

open the door, say "wheres the pizza" and slam the door.

[Fit of Rage]

In all truthfulness:

My friend Jim went to pick up a girl for a date a couple years ago. He arrived at the girl's house and her dad answered the door. He invited Jim inside and low and behold, in the other room he had the shotgun taken apart and was cleaning all the parts. Jim had some experience with guns and nervously started talking about it with the guy. Then the dad says "Hang on a sec... what was your name again?" "...Jim." Sure enough, the dad grabbed a filled shotgun shell and wrote "Jim" in sharpie on the side. I'm sure he was kidding, but that's the type of thing I would do too.

[D1st0rt]

only the people in the chat at the time would be allowed to mess with the daughters

fucking math teacher scheduling a test for when I should have been online

[Centurion]

D1st0rt, I will repeat what I said, for your absentee benefit:

Only D1st0rt gets to fuck my Daughter(s), as he is the smartest of the chat members, and I would prefer someone who can program my super video crystal player and code cool new features into my virtual reality neural interface 30 years from now.

P.S. Btw Fit, Roflskates.

[Noah]

I would consider to either:

a) Tell him that if I even hear a rumour of him touching another place than her hand, that I'd hunt him down and beat him senseless. Add a bit to the fearfactor by getting his full name and address. And close the sentence by saying "Understood, Name living in Address?"

b) If she'd be way younger than I'd allow, and him much older, I'd ask him to stand and wait on the porch while I went for a bat or a golf club. Then I'd start pushing him HARD with it, and later start swinging if he hadn't run of yet. (I wouldn't hit him, but get across the point that I'd end up doing it if he didn't run the fuck away). I'd only do this if he were around 18 and her around 14.

c) Tell him to wait outside, and then go turn off my daughers cell phone. After that I'd go watch TV or whatever. Just repeat that except the phone part to he stops ringing the door.

[genocidal]

I will probably answer the door completely naked with my own feces (and some of my wife's) smeared on my chest. I'll insist on a hand shake and pat him on the back a lot until he goes away. Then my daughter will either run away from home or jump out of a moving vehicle. Either way, I get a Cleveland steamer.

[Dameon Angell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmLNEkFcdrU

[Vykromond]

I know this thread is kind of tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, who the fuck cares if your daughter is fucking her boyfriend?

[Suh]

fucking math teacher scheduling a test for when I should have been online

awwww. silly sleep

[WuTang420]

i think taking a photograph of him as he walks in and dodging all questions why you took it would be enough to make him question weather he really wants to deal with it. had it done to me and it creeped me the fuck out

i have a 2 year old girl (actually its 2am on her birthday, so 3 i guess) and i dont even wanna think about what i will do...i just hope it never happens?...fuck im doomed

[Liquid Blue]

D1st0rt, I will repeat what I said, for your absentee benefit:

Only D1st0rt gets to fuck my Daughter(s), as he is the smartest of the chat members, and I would prefer someone who can program my super video crystal player and code cool new features into my virtual reality neural interface 30 years from now.

I clearly remember you saying something along the lines of "If I get to fuck Face's and Jeen's daughter then I'd gladly let LB fuck my daughter, blah blah blah just not ph he's a nerd"

Added on that last part but you get the drift

I know this thread is kind of tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, who the fuck cares if your daughter is fucking her boyfriend?

You say this until you find out someone like Jeenyus (aka Casper McToodleface) is sticking his warbird in her flag room.

[Facetious]

Before we got to joking, I pretty much agree with Vyk. I would HATE it, absolutely HATE it, if I thought my DAUGHTER was a slut. However, if I liked the boyfriend well enough, I wouldn't really care what they do as long as she's at least 16. I wouldn't be able to deal with watching a different dude show up every week knowing he's banging my daughter, that would be awful.

[Sharpshot]

(if your daughter is dating a black guy): answer the door wearing a michael richards mask.

open the door, say "wheres the pizza" and slam the door.

Fuck you

[Pandagirl!]

if I thought my girlfriend was a slut... knowing he's banging my daughter

I hope that either
a) I misread that
b) You made a mistake
c) You're from West Virginia

true story: Dont let the girl shave her legs until she's 'allowed to date' and she's too embarassed to get close to any guy.

That's so mean! You're basically condemning your daughter to either be unpopular or to rebel against you secretly. And wouldn't that be going against the purpose of you doing it in the first place?