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    I have to take a literature class in school, and I just absolutely can't stand the stuff. I sit here with Beowulf in front of me and no matter how many times I were to read it, if I read a passage like "and the swans breath pressed over the swordsman's neck with a passion unparalleled to even the way the hungriest of men would cherish a double-stufed oreo, propelling the vessel across the bluest, deepest, most incorrigible drink*" all I get out of it is "the motherfucking dude was on a motherfucking boat that crossed the motherfucking water." I have to take the course, do any of you guys have any advice for how I can not hate every second of this class? It's kind of a vague question, but basically, have any of you more literal-minded types found a way to appreciate flowery language?

    *edit: In reality, it would be like 10 sentences in a row about the dude crossing the water, not just one. I could probably handle one.
    5:gen> man
    5:gen> i didn't know shade's child fucked bluednady

  • #2
    Man, I had to read Beowulf in old English and learn passages by heart.. I forgot them though.
    Maybe God was the first suicide bomber and the Big Bang was his moment of Glory.

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    • #3
      Beowulf sucked, Gilgamesh sucked more.
      Originally posted by Jeenyuss
      sometimes i thrust my hips so my flaccid dick slaps my stomach, then my taint, then my stomach, then my taint. i like the sound.

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      • #4
        Well if you aren't interested in Old English literature you shouldn't have taken that particular class. There's a really good Chaucer class at my school but I think it's boring and stupid so I'll never take it. Try to find some type of literature that interests you, otherwise keep chugging along. I've taken some miserable lit classes before (18th century British literature tested my patience daily) but I'm actually glad I read Clarissa now.

        Currently I'm taking a major author literature class where we only read Philip Roth. I'm a huge fan of his and I have a feeling you'd be interested in him too, Face (if you're unfamiliar with him the best comparison I can make is Salinger but Roth is better imo). I'm also taking a 20th century British poetry class because I think I need it and I have to try to make myself enjoy it. I'm not a huge British poetry fan but Yeats and Eliot make the class worth it. Also, I'm taking 19th century British literature, which is far more entertaining than 18th century. Sure we have to read Jane Eyre (worst book ever) but I can suck it up, appreciate the Protestant work ethic, and wait until we start Bleak House or Mill on the Floss.

        You'll probably dislike at least one text in any given literature class. Try to isolate what pisses you off about it because usually those things are important (if you're going to have to write papers). Don't sound like an amateur critic of age-old literature that's pretty much accepted as fabulous but try to figure out why the author did what he did or what effect it has. Try not to limit your mind to just saying "this shit blows purple dickheads".

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        • #5
          I sort of know what you mean. In my Philosophy classes we sometimes got given sections of old philosophy books with fancy writing which seemed impossible to comprehend or understand.

          anyway the moral of the story is: I hated reading things like that and always will.

          hm this doesn't really help. and that wasn't really a moral.

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          • #6
            depending on how important that class is to you, you can either just suck it up or try to have some fun with it. Read Bukowski at the same time, try to find similarities, call the writer a pompous word-masturbator who covered his lack of writing skill or lack of originality by adding too extraordinary or too vague descriptions of obviously ordinary things, try to find a theme other than the one everyone agreed upon, stuff like that


            I studied literature myself and sometimes it felt like being in Office space. The part where 70 people were looking at me as if I was insane when I tried to pimp the gay theme in Frankenstein was just so hilarious: Capt saving Victor, Victor falling in love with him but having no guts to tell him then goes on to create a man for himself, but since he sees it as something horrific he uses body parts of dead people. When he's done he freaks out and runs away and leaving this distorted gayness behind him which takes vengeance on Victor's brother who had strong issues with that. The gayness (the Monster) only wants to be loved and percieved as regular and in an attempt to adjust to the rules of the society it creates a Woman for himself, but it destroys the Woman because it can't be gay and with a woman. It would cease to exist. Victors wife dies = symbolism for him coming out...you know, just random shit like that.
            Originally posted by Disliked
            However, I have a bigger problem, being an atheist for 9 years, most of it during my teenage years I've become a little addicted to masterbation. I've tried to stop and even asked God to help but I'm unable to resist the temptation and it's driving me insane with grief.


            Originally posted by concealed
            when i was on incuria i took 40 mgs of adderol like an hour before every match. didnt help me that much :X

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            • #7
              Originally posted by CrvenBan View Post
              The part where 70 people were looking at me as if I was insane when I tried to pimp the gay theme in Frankenstein was just so hilarious:
              I can see why they laughed at you.
              Originally posted by Crvenban
              Capt saving Victor, Victor falling in love with him but having no guts to tell him
              He doesn't fall in love with him. If anything, Walton falls in love with Victor but it's more in search of a friend with whom to learn from than romantic love.
              Originally posted by Crvenban
              then goes on to create a man for himself, but since he sees it as something horrific he uses body parts of dead people.
              What?
              A.) He doesn't use the body parts of dead people.
              B.) He sees it as horrendous after he makes it, not before.
              Originally posted by Crvenban
              When he's done he freaks out and runs away and leaving this distorted gayness behind him which takes vengeance on Victor's brother who had strong issues with that.
              Victor's brother was like 5 - how could he have strong issues with homosexuality or anything?
              Originally posted by Crvenban
              The gayness (the Monster) only wants to be loved and percieved as regular and in an attempt to adjust to the rules of the society it creates a Woman for himself, but it destroys the Woman because it can't be gay and with a woman.
              Uhhh Victor made the female monster - not the Monster. Victor also destroyed the female monster. That's what pissed the monster off and said, "I'll be with you on your wedding night."
              Originally posted by Crvenban
              It would cease to exist. Victors wife dies = symbolism for him coming out...you know, just random shit like that.
              How is the Monster killing Elizabeth symbolism for homosexuality? Victor destroys the Monster's bitch so the Monster kills Victor's bitch.

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              • #8
                spark notes

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                • #9
                  Those stop being very useful after middle school, Twerp.

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                  • #10
                    Beowulf did suck.

                    I had to memorize passages from that and the Canterbury Tales for English. Stupidest assignment other.

                    On the whole homosexuality in Frankenstein....Wha? I got a lot of weird things out of that book....and there were a few plot holes here and there, but I guess I missed the gay vibe.
                    Originally posted by Tone
                    Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

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                    • #11
                      Find the humour
                      Yes I have been touched
                      By His Noodley Appendage
                      It was a Good Touch
                      Flying Spaghetti
                      Monster is the way of Life
                      Praised be He! RAmen.
                      Midget, moutains, trees,
                      His Noodley Appendage
                      Has made all to be.
                      Pirates the Chosen
                      Dictating the global temp
                      Wear your Regalia
                      With His noodley
                      Appendage I have been touched
                      But not like that priest
                      To be a Pirate
                      and save the hole earth from DOOM
                      is great joy ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG
                      Our Noodly master
                      Created the seven seas
                      For use by pirates
                      All hail His noodles
                      His meatball’s flavor sacred
                      And his sauce divine
                      Priests Molest Children
                      But the Spaghetti Monster
                      Loves Us Properly
                      Noodles in the Sky
                      Pirate fantasies fulfilled
                      Now cool down, hot world!
                      The Pasta Monster
                      He grasps my with his noodles
                      Crap, I got scurvy
                      A POEM:
                      The creator who holds us dear
                      did not look as what we hear.
                      he was not a man, or human at all
                      he was made of spaghetti and two meat balls.
                      he made us all
                      originally short
                      and it wasn’t even his last resort
                      Pirates are his people,
                      holy are they
                      who end every sentence with “Arrgh” as they pray.
                      Some might not believe,
                      but it is a fact,
                      our God was pasta
                      no, this isn’t an act
                      So lets all give
                      a hip hip horray
                      the FSM is here to stay

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                      • #12
                        Dropping in to say that Beowulf is great, so is Chaucer. Beating up on Beowulf is especially lame though because it's in translation. Odds of Galleleo actually reading and memorizing Beowulf in its original tongue: pretty much 0%.
                        Originally posted by Ward
                        OK.. ur retarded case closed

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Vykromond View Post
                          Dropping in to say that Beowulf is great, so is Chaucer. Beating up on Beowulf is especially lame though because it's in translation. Odds of Galleleo actually reading and memorizing Beowulf in its original tongue: pretty much 0%.
                          To be honest with you, part of the reason I disliked Beowulf and the Canterbury Tales is because of the Olde English. I really liked the stories and all, I just didn't enjoy having to work my ass of just to understand every sentence.
                          Originally posted by Tone
                          Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

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                          • #14
                            Well Beowulf is Old English which is 100% unreadable unless you're trained. You maybe can pick out one word a line but other than that it's pretty much a different language. Canterbury Tales is Middle English which is much more approachable but still a strain (probably what you're talking about).

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by genocidal View Post
                              Well Beowulf is Old English which is 100% unreadable unless you're trained. You maybe can pick out one word a line but other than that it's pretty much a different language. Canterbury Tales is Middle English which is much more approachable but still a strain (probably what you're talking about).
                              same diff. I did read Beowulf in old english. It sucked. I had to memorize the first 15 lines in old english...fucking gay. Actually, now that I think about it, I think it was full of endnotes and footnotes saying what the text actually meant.

                              But yeah, it was a real strain to read them both.
                              Originally posted by Tone
                              Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

                              Comment

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