Annoying friend situation

[Subjugation]

If I were to take a stab at it, it sounds like he's decided to take on a cliche "outgoing party'er" persona (the loud tone of voice, the physical touching, the lack of inhibition) in order to compensate for his inadequate social skills. Really, it sounds pretty hopeless because for him to change anytime soon, without maybe some cognitive therapy---but it sounds like you've already decided to cut him loose, but your question is how to do it.

Well, if I were in your shoes, I really only see 1 of 2 options here:

1) Be honest with him

2) Don't be honest with him

Frankly, it would depend on how much respect I had for the prior friendship to decide whether I would be honest with the guy. Even if he gets mad, down the road, he'll probably realize you were trying to do the right thing, and maybe even help motivate him to change for the better. As long as you're not a dick about it and explain it to him in a way that helps him grow as a person, the respectful thing is honesty.

But if you're not capable of being delicate about the situation, then just lie. Continue making excuses for not talking to the guy or hanging out with him.

[ZeUs!!]

If you want him to leave you of his own accord instead of you telling him to go away then light some candles, prepare a dinner for two, turn any dimmer lights down to low, put a Barry White/Broken Social Scene CD on and invite the guy round. This might backfire

[Facetious]

There isn't enough room to explain all the things that are weird about this guy. He also said that "you know, one day, I realized that I was attracted to men and women." That's not an issue for me, although there is a slight chance it plays into this equation, but certainly, Barry White is a terrible idea.

[geekbot]

edit: By the way, I haven't called this guy (even to call him back) since he moved back to the area. How the hell can you think someone is your friend if they literally never call you? The most I do is sometimes send a text message back saying I'm busy.

Sometimes people are desperate for friends and a person who tolerates you is better than nothing. They get that you don't really like them but don't care. A "fake" friend is better than empty loneliness. So call me back once in a while, jerk. :crying:

[Ephemeral]

Is it really the high road to say "Well, I just don't like you, and the best you can do is make yourself somewhat tolerable to be around"? Because that's being honest. I really just don't like this guy at all, and the only reason I'm hesitant to just completely drop him is because I feel bad.

I learned a long time ago that having "charity friends" is a bad idea, but I met this guy a long long time ago. Now, when I meet someone that I don't really like that tries to latch on to me I send really obvious signals that I'm fine with being a friendly casual acquaintance, but that's as far as it's going to go. My first year of college I learned that as long as you're friendly and show some interest in what other people have to say, pretty much everyone wants to be your friend, and I don't have enough bandwidth to be there for people I don't like. In high school, when I met this guy, it made me feel good to sort of take someone under my wing and try to help them become more social, but now I just don't have the energy to do that, especially with someone that's never ever going to change.

If someone treated me the way I treat this guy, it would be unbelievably clear to me that the person had other interests or friendships they wanted to pursue and just didn't have the time to see me as often as I wanted. When this dude calls, what does being "honest and frank" entail, in your opinion? "Do you want to go see a movie?" "Yeah, but not with you." That's the truth, but this kid seriously might kill himself if I said that.

edit: By the way, I haven't called this guy (even to call him back) since he moved back to the area. How the hell can you think someone is your friend if they literally never call you? The most I do is sometimes send a text message back saying I'm busy.

Presentation is important, perhaps softening the truth with accepting some of the fault. While the truth might hurt short-term, a wise person would learn from the experience and consider changes. Perhaps suggest distance, but stay on friendly terms. This would give him a chance to consider what you have said, make changes to better himself, and in afew years things could be different for both of you.

[Spider]

I think this sounded familiar to you because its the topic of many episodes of many sitcoms. Hahahaha.

Sometimes there is a surprise ending where you start a fight with the guy at a party and all of a sudden realize everyone has started to like him more than you! Doesn't sound likely but you never know. Be careful! Hahaha.