My roommate let in a hooker and now she keeps coming back

[Ignominy]

Coming from where I live, the term hooker is pretty broad; this girl scopes more in the "call girl stripper" range but I don't entertain any idea that she doesn't have sex for money.

She's dumb as fuck, but so goddamn crazy that it makes her amusing in a funny way. She's not ugly, but I wouldn't do her even if her profession didn't make her disgusting. I imagine a decent percentage of the male population would do her though.

Anyway, she knocked on our door right as we had finished smoking some bud, about to go to a movie. He is really friendly, and she basically just asked if we would smoke her out. Being generous people, we were happy to, but I think it opened up a world of trouble, because she's come back several times.

Today she came back asking to borrow twenty dollars so she could pay her rent; keep in mind, this is on the 15th of the month, and rent is due on the 1st of each month.

My roommate thinks it's harmless and funny, and I'm inclined to agree, but this bitch is seriously crazy. If nothing else, it's made us vigilant about locking our door now, we were pretty relaxed before.

So, after she left after we didn't give her twenty dollars today, (it's not like we couldn't afford it, but I thought it would probably mean she'd disappear, and I thought there was humor left to be had), we were sitting around when I came up with the idea of hiring her as a maid, and just paying her 20 bucks once a week to clean up. I think this is a hilarious idea, but I'm not sure about it.

So, how should I play it? The retarded things she says are entertaining, and she seems harmless, and a maid would be good for keeping the apartment nicer, and she would be cheaper and more entertaining than a real maid, however, I don't want to get my shit stolen.

This is seriously the most ridiculous side plot ever.

[Noah]

If you know where to get her if something happens then go for it.

If not then just keep her around untill you figure out better what she is.

I wouldn't just give her keys and tell her to come and clean tho, most hookers are deseprate, or just crazy.

[Ignominy]

who said anything about giving her keys?

no chance I'd give that bitch keys

I just want her to clean up and take out the trash, maybe do some dishes, things I hate doing. We'll probably watch TV while she does it.

[Noah]

Usually you give the maid keys so she can just drop by and do her shit without you guys having to bother with it. My brother has it like that atleast.

If you want her to do it while you are there, then go for it, no risk.

[Jerome Scuggs]

who said anything about giving her keys?

no chance I'd give that bitch keys

I just want her to clean up and take out the trash, maybe do some dishes, things I hate doing. We'll probably watch TV while she does it.

This is actually a great idea. You get shit done with no security issues as far as keys go, and you'll probably pick up some awesome stories.

Toss the idea to her like, $20/week to just clean the place up. Write out a contract that basically just says "you're liable if shit gets stolen".

Smoke her out every once in awhile and maybe listen to her - seriously, women just want something to talk to that will nod along as if interested - and you might get a pretty good deal fiscally, and she'll get a good deal emotionally. Random women showing up means she's probably lonely... or psycho. I'd keep her around for a bit before actually doing anything, maybe toss the idea her way.

If you're feeling particularly pimpin', get her to sell drugs for you. Become the ignominy I always knew you could be.

Oh and p.s. sorry for the dial, I meant to call a friend (in my phone your handle starts with an N :P). I was pretty fucked up but I'm pretty sure it was short and sweet.

[Jeansi]

20 dollars a week for her to use her "personal vacuum" on your "broom", amirite?

[Ignominy]

She just dropped by now, to ask for a cigarette, which I gave her. She looked less skanky than usual and kinda troubled, but she seemed busy, so I didn't pry. Also there's no guarantee that I could make sense of a story she told.

[Bioture]

my 2 cents:

help her to become a more respectable human being - but don't give her any handouts. this will have one of two results:

1) she'll become a better person, thank you for ridding her life of her slutitude, and you feel good about yourself.

2) she'll pretend to become a better person to try to get more stuff from you, but to no avail, then go back to her life of slutitude.

[Squeezer]

kill her?

Seriously though, the maid idea sounds good.

[Jeenyuss]

my 2 cents:

help her to become a more respectable human being - but don't give her any handouts. this will have one of two results:

1) she'll become a better person, thank you for ridding her life of her slutitude, and you feel good about yourself.

2) she'll pretend to become a better person to try to get more stuff from you, but to no avail, then go back to her life of slutitude.

[Nickname]

Firstly, if you ever tire of this, just get someone else to answer the door next time she comes and say you guys moved out or something, you could even have boxes out to plant a seed in her mind of it the previous time.

Getting her to clean is odd, so if you're going to go that route, why not getting her to clean naked? Just throwing it out there.

[Ignominy]

OK update:

She came back by later and rolled a blunt (with my stuff ofc) and I pitched the maid idea to her, and she went for it!

So


This is awesome

[Scurvy]

my extensive knowledge of Seinfeld theory tells me that this is ill-fated.
good luck though.

[Pummel]

Fuck her up the ass.

Sorry, that was uncalled for.



Saves time getting her into the maid outfit....

[Money]

LOL U LIVE IN VEGAS MAYBE SHES AN ASPIRING SHOWGIRL LIKE THE MOVIE LOLf