How do you know when to break off a relationship?

[Facetious]

I've been with my girlfriend for 2 year soon, we've had a good time together and I love her, and I still think she's one of the hottest chicks around.

However, lately I've been starting to doubt if I should continue. I'm not sure I want to put more time into a relationship that is not supposted to lead anywhere. We've already been living together, but she had to move out again due to school, and we've crossed every base pretty much except being engaged and marriage.

Something just feels.. off now. We've had it like this before, but never this extreme. We're around eachother because our relationship says that we have to. It's always like this on vacation, and I blame her for having to go the ENTIRE summer. I just came after her, and now it's all weird because we haven't seen eachother for 6-7 weeks. That's right, soon 2 years and we haven't seen eachother for 6-7 weeks. I've had a shitty summer because of this.

I know that this is going to be an issue in every fucking vacation we have, I almost don't even have a girlfriend in the vacations. I'm getting pretty sick of it.

This does not have a solution other than her not going home for entire vacations when I have to work. And that is not going to happen.

When do I know it is time to end it?

To be perfectly honest, I always saw this coming for you, as I remember several posts where you were talking about how your love life was perfect, etc, etc. In my experience (not that it's necessarily any more worldly than yours, of course) I have never witnessed a relationship that started out with a super long-term honeymoon phase and ended well at all. Typically relationships with those kinds of ups also have really severe downs. The people I know that get convinced that they've found "true love" (which I think is bullshit, what are the odds that your one true love just happened to cross your path at some point in your life) always have expectations that are way way too high, and when those expectations are dashed it's just crushes people. I love my girlfriend to death, but I never forget that we're both still young, and that young people are fucking retarded. If I had been on a "oh boy I found true love this person is my soulmate holy shit" kick, I'd have dumped her a long time ago, because she wasn't "perfect." I would not have been better off for it. I also tend to notice that "true love" people seem to think they've found "true love" with every new person they've started dating. After 7 times of thinking they've found "true love" why don't they notice that apparently they don't have a very good radar for it?

Conclusion unrelated to what I wrote above: Do you think about dating other girls all the time and wonder if you'd like them more than your current girlfriend? Dump her. If you don't, stay with her.

[Cops]

your age directly correlates to how desperately you should strive to stay in a relationship like that.

that's bullshit, even if I was 60 I'd rather be alone than hate myself for being with someone I didn't like.

[Necromotic]

"It's okay to cheat because you miss her touch"

[MetalHeadz]

Grr, I knew I should have made a post like this to make it look like I'm popular in real life.

God, is your problem so bad that the only emotional outlet is a forum titled 'SSCU Trench Wars Forums> Other Forums> Pub Chat'

Jesus dude - you think we're relationship counsellors?

[Money]

having the same problem here noah. Yeah it sucks ass, especially during the summer because I'm guessing you did everything with her and pretty much blew off your other friends for the most part? Ive been with mine only about a year and we just recently took a break. We talk everyday and we are starting to hang out again, I just don't know if I should waste my time with her doing all this and we might not get back together.

lol bros before hoes, always, if they cant understand that then their no good, but its diffwhen ur married its wife > all lol

and baby

[Money]

Grr, I knew I should have made a post like this to make it look like I'm popular in real life.

God, is your problem so bad that the only emotional outlet is a forum titled 'SSCU Trench Wars Forums> Other Forums> Pub Chat'

Jesus dude - you think we're relationship counsellors?

yea we know MHZ isnt since he hasnt been in one LolOlOlOlOL
hows that ban coming

[Noah]

Jesus dude - you think we're relationship counsellors?

No dude, some of you (I actually had a few persons in mind while creating this thread) is roughly in the same situation as me in life, and others has been in it before. To name one, Facetious, and there are others.

I'm not going to PM them stuff like this, most outlets are good outlets.

Do you think this forum consists purely of 100% 16 year old male geeks? That nobody here has ever experienced anything that they can tell others that are of interest?

That's pretty narrow Mhz, I'm going to let you get a chance to realize this before I give you a negative label.

Facetious:
This relationship started out with me telling her straight out: "We have no future together, all I want is some fun." We never stopped having fun and before I knew anything, we're here and almost together for 2 years.

After posting this, and thinking alot myself, I told her that I don't want to be in a relationship where this is going to be an issue. I pretty much said: Fix your issue here, or I'll walk.

Now I'm sleeping at my brothers place, and so far she's told me that she's aware that this is all her, and that she doesn't want me to go. She already has a bad conscience about it, and is actually able to see this from my view. This is some pretty nice steps in the right direction, so I'm going to leave her the time she needs.

I've gotten some advice from several of you that confirmed stuff I've already felt, thank you for that. I'm not 100% sure about where to go with all of this, so if you have anything you think is of value, post it.

Edit: Megamans post.
I didn't blow of a single friend to get her, she's accepted all my friends and they all get along great. We're a pretty open and honest bunch, and they'd let me know if something were off. I'm pretty sure that we're going to get past this down, but for me, a down this long and this painful, may not be worth it.

And Nick, you hit it pretty dead on how I feel about it all in general.

There's just way too many good posts in this thread for me to comment on all of them. Again, thank you.

[Squeezer]

I don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but you should cheat on her.

Oh...damnit Gran!

[Izor]

just have someone link her to this thread

[Ephemeral]

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

[Jack]

It's over when you're making posts on a game forum asking "How do you know when to break off a relationship?". j/k :P

If you love her and have been with her for two years you should be more understanding to the fact that she also wants to have her own goals in life such as completing school. It's selfish to be upset and want to break it off simply because you're not sticking your dick in her for around 2 months. I'm sure theres more to it of course, thats just how I took it after reading your post.

From what I've experienced in my current relationship that just hit 4 years June 23rd is when a situation like this comes about when you're just not feeling like things are on the right track is to sit down and just have a talk. We've had many bumps that at times have caused us to question if this is what we truly want, but we took a night off, sat down over a nice dinner and bled our hearts. (and steaks)

I'm sure you've already done that or discussed it with her already, if not thats what I'd suggest. But you truly have to let it all out and explain to her how you feel and you can then gauge by her reaction where your relationship is at in my opinion. If she seems aloof and not really wanting to have a deep conversation then she probably doesn't desire marriage and she's staying with you because your dick is convenient.

Would you want to be with her if you hadn't told her in the beginning that you just wanted to have fun? "I'm not sure I want to put more time into a relationship that is not supposed to lead anywhere" and "We have no future together, all I want is some fun.", those two comments really stand out to me when I read over your posts mate and I think this is the key to either breaking you apart or bringing you guys closer together.

You are saying you don't want to put more time into it if it's not leading anywhere, what if it was supposed to lead somewhere? You can change that at any time by telling her how you feel. Two years is a long time, at first you may have wanted it to be all fun and not go anywhere but what about now? You stated yourself you love the woman.

Well anyway, I don't fully feel like I made my point which is horrible considering how much I typed. I hope it works out for you Noah.

I'm not the best at explaining myself in this manner, flows much better in a normal conversation so if you're wanting to talk more message me in game. Have had lots of experience with ups an downs.

[Facetious]

i like on these forums when people are like lol y ask geeks that cant get laid rofl and then people still give decent advice

[Epinephrine]

I'm not sure why this is all her fault? Isn't it you that's having a problem with it?

Is she purposefully leaving in the summers just to piss you off or something?

[Noah]

As I said Epi, even after I wait all these weeks, when I come back everything is off and weird. Naturally because we haven't been seeing eachother for a while. This isn't a problem for me, I can forget most of this shitty summer in a heartbeat.

When I came back, I were ready to pick it up exactly where we left off, and to forget the time we were apart. However, because of her choise, she's having issues and we have to rebuild alot of our relationship. By we, I mean mostly me, as she seems uninterested in the point of doing anything with it, except saying that she wants to be with me and that it will go over by itself. She's adamant about this, that she wants us to be together, and that it will work out when we get home.

She wants to be home in the summer? Fine, I can live with that.
When I finally get vacation I rush straight to her, and she just sits there and does nothing to show that we're in a relationship. Except saying that it's temporary and she never wants to leave me.

I'm 100% positive that if I choose to swallow this now, and in the future, everything will work out after the vacation period and get back to normal for her.
It's just that there's a limit on how many times I want to go through this, and having to be the one building stuff back together. This is shit I've told her as well, and she agrees on it being her with the issues, and that she has no idea why she has it.

I'm just fucking tired of it, and for the first time in the summer, I'm not caring that much if she's with me or not. I'm tired of wrecking my summer thinking about her, so it looks like I'm not letting it affect me that much anymore. Which is a sign that I'm losing interest.

I'm guessing that as of yesterday, I came to the point where I'm putting everything up to her to fix. I'll be myself in the same way everything was before when she comes around, I won't rip up in the past or anything. Unless she genuinly looks into why this is happening with her, and how to fix it, then I won't salvage this again.

I'm betting that there's lots of stuff that I could have said in a better way, and stuff I should have been clearer about. This is just one of the things I just think about more as I go.

Jack: For my part, I could see us going all the way if it hadn't been for this. Outside the vacation and the first weeks after we get home, we don't have many problems.

Conclusion from a long post: It's not only the time in itself that kills it for me, or not having anything to fuck for 2 months, but her having alot of issues when we get back together. This is just wrecking me even more than not being apart even longer.

[kthx]

Five minutes after you fuck her for the first time, or second time depending on how good it was.