spider is sad/people bash ward/galleleo says something random as shit: the thread

[Spider]

1) Call her up and make her cry.


2) Join a club/group/church/anything that's somewhat social.


3) Don't talk to your ex after you make her cry at all.


4) Be wary, and don't be too nice. Knock 'em and drop 'em.

5) Make it a goal to fuck some random whore within a month of the breakup. You may not feel better, but you sure as hell won't feel worse.

The club thing is a good idea. I don't see why I want to go out of my way to make my ex cry though. As for the last two points, is the world really like that? I'm not like that at all. I can't imagine myself ever considering that course of action. This is seriously normal? I mean, there is a hot girl that gets on the bus at my stop, and if she demanded I give her a good time or something I'd do it, but I'm not going to try my hardest just to find a quicky from anyone.

Is it totally fucked up to just "take a break" from the opposite sex for a while (unless, like I say, for some reason an attractive girl decides she wants some lovin') and just focus on myself? Work, school, maybe a club or something, going for jogs and shit? Eventually something will happen, and if it doesn't in a few months I can go for it a little harder. Is it crazy of me to not have the first instinct of "lets fuck someone asap"?

[Galleleo]

I have a wee bit of experience in the long distance relationship stuff. Most important part I have found, communication, it might sound cliché but it is fucking important. You need to talk enough, phone, mail, msn, skype, whatever. Just stay in contact. You have to make sure you know each others feelings, about each other but also the situation. Is it annoying you, pissing you off, etc. etc. Even if you can't take it away its good if you know from the other what is going on.

I am a shy guy, and I would say I am a good guy. I honestly cannot stay mad for long, at anyone. I usually feel bad right away and I just wanna go and fix it. Would I have been in the same situation as Spider, I would have probably done it the same (not the mail, just a phone call, but chances are I would never have pissed her off intentionally or anything). I have heard from multiple girls that I am the kind of guy they marry, not date. I can honestly say I am hopeless at dating. My strength lies in the friendship part. My first real gf, who some people on here "know", I have known her all my life, almost from the day I was born. The only reason we dated was because of the friendship bond. I can honestly say that she is way out of my league, and well, end of high school I guess she realised it too.

Anyway, I would say I am kinda like spider as a person. Generally girls say I look good, cute is a word often used. But I seriously cannot for the life of me go up to a girl I like and actually start a conversation. This being said, I obviously do not agree with most posts in this thread, but if it works for you do it. I do believe that in a situation like this, you put yourself first. If I got pissed off on the phone I would probably have let her known that, but I would not have intentionally hurt her, I seriously do not have it in me to do that to anyone (unless they are absolute complete dick faces against me and I get really, really pissed off).

I kinda forgot the point I was trying to make, but I do know that that letter came across as kinda formal to me, while it is a rather informal situation. Ow, and I do not agree with the stereotyping of: Girls go for a.. Girls like a.. I believe that everyone is an individual and everyone likes something different. Though it is generally true that girls like arseholes in there teens/college period. But after that, I believe that number drops. I have never really worried about it, cause I figure that I am a good catch for anyone (if you don't agree, don't date me) and I'll eventually find someone.

Anyway, this turned into a lot of rambling about nothing.. I should put Dear Diary at the top.

[Bioture]

I still don't see the problem with having tried to be nice and civil with her though. I think, judging by the response in this thread, how nicely and easily I allowed this break up to happen makes me pretty world class.

Good show, old chap. A good breakup helps big time on your dating resume. Sorry things get so complicated so quickly... making amends with someone you've hurt takes a lot of balls. So if she apologizes, stick to your guns but acknowledge and forgive her. Don't leave yourself bitter! You think it'll get better if you hurt her back, but like that book said (five people you meet in heaven?) hatred is a curved blade - and the harms we do, we do to ourselves. I know how that feels man. You could hurt her a lot right now, but it's my suggestion (and experience) that you don't.

[SEAL]

I agree with Cvr.

Firstly, a phone would have saved you and her alot of time and effort.

Secondly. You don't need a whole letter for the obvious. If it's kinda over.. just call her up.

Thirdly. That letter. Your emotions. Did you secretly have Eric Clapton on, while writing this?

Let's look at this thing positively. Your single! Now, read this how-to-flirt book. What to-do and what not-to-do. Don't take it as a black/white thing, keep your character, but I'm sure you can pick some things up from it.



I'm curious in her answer. Keep us updated!

[Vykromond]

I agree with those people who said, hurt her as much as she's hurt you. Maybe more.

Don't do it in a stupid way. I had a friend who broke up with his psycho gf, and she sent him all these 'relationship for dummies' books for months over the mail.

Do it properly. Push her buttons, tell her she's going to fail in life, and that girls, especially asian ones don't get good jobs from her program. This is fact. Ruin her. Let it all out. Don't go into how she's made you feel bad or whatever. She obviously don't care about you... just make her feel bad.

If you don't let these things out now, you will regret it later when you just keep thinking that you are a human punching bag, always taking but never giving it.

YEAH DUDE PUNCH THAT BITCH IN THE CUNTf

[PH]

4:Bel Riose> is it just me (probably) or did that EEK! A Spider thread turn disturbingly mysoginistic disturbingly fast
4:Bel Riose> richard creager isn't allowed to answer that question
4h <ER>> i imagine he would say "what, that's a bad thing?"
4:Bel Riose> right
4h <ER>> and i'd be inclined to agree
4:Bel Riose> which is why... yeah
4:Bel Riose> oh fuck off
4h <ER>> ahahahah
4:Bel Riose> butz
4:Bel Riose> butzbutzbutz

[Zerzera]

I totally agree with crv and all that agree with him. I got dumped by the girl I thought would be my wife. I normally stick with girls for a month before I cheat on them and dump them. So i had no experience with being dumped by a girl I love. I did what you tried to do, I thought that being nice might change her mind. Some time I politely broke off with her, and now my love for her is dying I'm praying she will somehow come back in my life so I can hurt her for how she treated me. Never miss that chance.

[Mantra-Slider]

I havent read through everything yet but I dont think I agree with what most people have said. I dont believe in hurting peoples feelings as a way of making yourself feel better. Ill read more later when I have time :X

[Emaho]

The guy who forgot his girlfriends birthday speaks! :grin:

[Pandagirl!]

It's kind of scary to see how mean everybody is. But I was glad to see that a few of you don't agree with getting revenge.

Personally, if I was in a relationship for somebody for 2 years and they lost interest in me, I would be really sad, but I don't know about angry. If I truly loved the person I would be able to accept the fact that they've moved on and that it's time for me to as well. There's no need to stoop down to childish levels and get revenge because your ex moved away and simply grew away from you once they were exposed to a new geography and new opportunities. Shit happens. Long distance relationships are hard, and if both partners aren't committed that's what's going to happen.

Spider, I thought the letter was good, despite what everyone else said. Yea, it was passive aggressive. But if I was that girl and I had lost interest in my boyfriend, I would probably be too nice to break it off, knowing how much my boyfriend still loved me. If I got a letter like that, I would be able to break it off nicely. Yea, you'd be hurt, but we could still be on good terms. However, if I got a letter that was full of name-calling and insults, I would be pissed. Then not only have you lost a girlfriend of 2 years, but you've also lost a best friend. I'm still best friends with all of my ex-boyfriends because our breakups went smoothly.

Maybe I'm just too nice of a person, but I think Spider is doing the right thing by not trying to obtain childish revenge. She's moved on, it's time to let it go and move on yourself.

[Fluffz]

I'm still best friends with all of my ex-boyfriends because our breakups went smoothly.

who the hell would want that? Best way to break up is drunk and by email.

[MirrorriM]

Very passive aggressive letter but I'm glad you called her also. You wrote a very angry post a few weeks ago about what she has done to you--I hope you at least brought those issues up in the phone call. It's one thing to bitch about all the pain she has caused you and purposely hurt her and another thing to maturely explain to her how evil/mean/bitchy she was. Girls will feel much more guilty if you follow the latter course of action than the first. Blind rage will just make them deny everything and think you are a crazy sob and thank god they're not with you anymore--it will prove to them that they were right in wanting to end it.

I'm glad you stayed calm

[Zerzera]

You only stay friends with girls you dumped, so you can call them when you need someone. Why would you be friends with a girl that you can never ever sleep with?

[Pandagirl!]

That's kind of shallow and chauvinistic Zerz.

who the hell would want that? Best way to break up is drunk and by email.

Well personally, and I can't speak for everyone, but usually if you dated someone for a long time, you'd still like them as a person even if you don't like them anymore romantically. I dated this guy for 3 years altogether, and even though I would never think of him romantically again, we're still really good friends and have lots of fun together. The bond you build as friends will endure even after a (smooth) breakup. So yea, I'd rather continue being friends with someone than just exchanging awkward glances whenever we see each other.

[Noah]

Would you still do that if that person hurt you, and avoided contact after being together for 2 years?