How do you go about making what is quite possibly the biggest decision of your life?

[Jason]

Girlfriends who get mad at you for weeks on end and won't talk to you no matter how much you try to explain to them that they're quite possibly the woman you want to marry can really drive a man insane.

That being said, I'm only 19 years old, and I've only been dating this girl for roughly six and a half months now. Despite spending such a short amount of time with her, I can wholeheartedly state that I love her with all my heart. Now you might say, "... but Jason, you're so young! You don't really know what love is yet!" Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't. All I know is, when I wake up in the morning and I see her laying next to me, nothing on this earth can stop me from feeling like the luckiest man alive.

So I ask you, those of you who aren't angsty teens with half a brain (which comprise about 95% of the people on the forum, but amongst that other 5% there are quite a few dudes I respect), how in the sam hell do you go about making the decision to settle down and marry a girl?

[RabbitRapist]

sounds to me like you already made up your mind

-RR

[jiu jitsu]

the only 3 people old enough to be qualified to answer your question in tw are the following: kjw, crown of thorns maybe... and... YOMAMMA!!

[wadi]

Dad's revenge, 404 Not Found, Bronchitis... arropants...

[Jason]

Yeah, I'm hoping arro will stop by and give me a little guidance.

[Fluffz]

get drunk and throw a coin (yes, i know that i represent the 95% - so what?)

[Blood]

J, I'd start taking steps like moving in together, slowly graduating into the everyday life together before I'd do anything like get married. That way you'll see if you really want to marry this girl.

The concept of marriage has never really hit me as some all-important thing that I need to find some woman for. Maybe I just need to get some experience under my belt but for now it's hard to imagine myself getting married too easily.

[Zloy]

If you're 19 why jump the plank with a marriage? You can just move in together, and after a couple of years it will be more evident if you two will stay with each other or not. If not, at least you had 2 years of free sex, so its a win win =X

[Mr. Peanuts]

i agree with zloy,
even though i suppose im too young to comment.

[Fit of Rage]

I'm only sixteen, but I am in AP psychology. Having just finished a chapter on adolescence to adulthood, I suggest you don't move in with her for starters. Numerous studies over the past thirty years have shown that couples that move in together before marriage have a higher divorce rate due to more possibility of arguments/disagreements before the marriage even begins.

Speaking from a romantic standpoint however, my take is that you should go with your heart. You might want to wait until you're both out of college (I assume you two attend college together) before actually tying the knot, but you need to make sure she understands how you feel. Women are usually the more romantic/lovey-dovey types, but I'm glad that you can be sensitive Jas.

Yeah, yeah, I'm just a kid. But that's just my opinion.

[PaulOakenfold]

Jason, this is such a hard question, especially with some1 as young as you. You'll be influenced by all those stories that don't end up in success, you'll become discourage, and possibly lose the best thing that's happened to you. Let me just tell you, there ARE success stories about kids YOUR age that believe they are in love and end up staying with that person for their whole life, being the happiest they could be.

Some people say you NEED experience before you're ready to commit, but really, it's different for everybody. I know for me, I got married around 19, I had met my wife in a club, I was with her for a couple months. She was the first person I actually TRULY loved, everything felt so much different around her than with any girl I had been with before. I knew I HAD to marry her because I never wanted to let go of that love.

What I'm saying Jason, is sometimes you can't let those "older" disgruntled love stories get to you. Sometimes you have to follow your heart, no matter how crazy it sounds to other people, but sometimes it takes time to figure out exactly what your heart is telling you.

Good luck man, I know you'll make the right decision, and get off this piece of shit game once everything works out

[ÆNIMA]

Granted, moving in together might be a wise decision in seeing if you really want to marry this girl or not. However, often what I see is that when a couple moves in together...it's basically like they're already married, so you get a few consequences from that.

A) It might take a lot long to actually getting around to getting hitched.

B) (this one's probably really for the girl) The "magic" of marraige will be significantly dulled, because one day you're living with your girlfriend, the next day, you're living with your wife...there's little real difference. And the honeymoon...what're you gonna do for that that you haven't already done?:P

C) A child could come a lot sooner than expected, unless you're really careful.

D)If you're Christian, sex before marriage is an abomination:P Which I doubt really affects you, but I might as well point it out anyway.

E)You'll have a clearer understand as to what marriage really is about, and you'll be able to face it a lot better than most other people.

Then of course there's the whole job and college thing, take those into consideration as well.

[Wolf12]

Jason Im nineteen as well as you so I will give you what I would do if put in your situation.

Keep going out with her for at least a year and see what it leads to. If I were you I wouldn't move in with her just yet and possibily not at all because I too have done the same study as fit of rage has and he is right in what he's saying.

Just let things take their course and don't rush anything. Be boyfriend/girlfriend for at least a year more and then see where you stand, besides if you do end up marrying her what's an extra year of going out.

Hope this helps you out.

[Troll King]

As much as people like to focus on the question of "is this the right person?", there is also the important question of "is this the right time?".

This is the kind of thing you need to think long term for, so look down the road and see what you need to accomplish in the next few years (including but not exclusive to your relationship).

[Jason]

I'm amazed at the number of thoughtful replies. Thanks for the advice, each and every one of you!

We're moving in together next week. That's been planned for awhile now. As for finishing up school, I've recently come to the realization that I absolutely hate my current major and am considering taking a break from school to figure out what it is I really want to do with my life. So... that might not be as much of an issue as I originally thought. We'll have to see how living together goes. I'll let you guys know how it pans out.