Beer is evil!!!

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs:

Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called "beer" that is essentially in liquid form.

The most effective varieties are being shipped in from other countries. "Beer" is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them.

The shocking statistic is that this "beer" is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to every man you know... There is safety in numbers...

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Another joke to attach

Special High Intensity Teaching
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any other schools. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer. You will immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be intersted in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are attending to pursue a carrier in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.) Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.) Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Beer Consumption

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Thor.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear."

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

[sexy wooden spoon]

lol!!

[Mr. Peanuts]

would it have been easier to have given us all the link?

[sTuPiD-gErBiL]

Re: Beer is evil!!!

Originally posted by Dayz V@mp!re
All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex.

where are these mythical creatures?

[sixtoo]

you can find them at most parties, their the ones sitting alone looking around at people wondering what it must be like to have friends, or their hanging out at the snack table.

360 Degree Flip

ever find yourself down and out of the good looking girls?

out at the bush parties we used to call it hoggin

the fact that you get to the party too late, all the good looking girls are already taken, so you need to take one for the team and find the one hog that needs someone to share a sleeping bag with.

*points and laughs at cam*

[Dayz V@mp!re]

I would give you the url peanuts but im too lazy and these were the only good ones sorry

[Adman]

i liked that beer one! the first one
.

[Gencore]

Re: Re: Beer is evil!!!

Originally posted by sTuPiD-gErBiL
where are these mythical creatures?

AGREED FREE BEER FOR EVERYONE

[Blurry]

ILL KEEP A LOOKOUT

MAN IM SCARED AT BARS NOW I DONT WANNA GET DRUNK! THEN HAVE SEX WITH SOME GIRL THEY HAVE COOTIES!

[Dayz V@mp!re]

Haha blurry

[ZeUs!!]

The beer joke's been done