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I don't post awesome but not terribly enlightening links nearly enough
originally posted by Neolithic Casserole
February 8th, On Wings of Meat
==============================
[1]
Uncle 12 sat back in his chair, puffing on a Cuban
cigar and occasionally reaching over to the frosted
glass bowl on the table to pop one of the tiny
delicacies into his mouth. He chewed slowly, allowing
the jerky nuggets to soften and release their
distinctive, meaty flavour. Nothing tasted as good as
smoked human flesh. He was especially fond of North
Korean jerky, possibly because he had taken so many
tours through the camps.
The wallphone chimed, as he knew it would, and he
sucked deeply on the cigar before pressing the answer
button on the table. Across from the window, a section
of wall shimmered and reformed itself into an image of
a jowly woman with a scar running down one cheek. It
was Aunt 5, right on schedule.
"Hail Satan," said the fifth most powerful person in
the world.
"Hail," answered the twelfth, meaning it. He'd always
liked Aunt 5, and their joint expedition to Cambodia
in the '70s was still a memory he cherished. He still
had the skulls in a closet somewhere.
"It's that time again, Carl. Time for your monthly
report. How are things in your neck of the woods?"
Uncle 12 leaned back in his chair, blowing a heavy
cloud of smoke towards the wallphone. "Well," he
finally said. "Let's see..."
[2]
PENTAGON ALARM OVER SEX ASSAULTS
US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has ordered an
investigation into alleged sexual assaults involving
US forces serving in Iraq and Kuwait.
"Sexual assault will not be tolerated in the
Department of Defense," a memo released by the
Pentagon said.
The cases involve serving personnel allegedly
assaulting one another.
[The desert night was cold and it reached into the
tent, cutting into the bones of the young soldier. He
wanted to shiver, but instead held his entire body
motionless. It was better not to move. People who
moved were sometimes...selected. For all he knew, none
of the other soldiers in the big tent were sleeping
either, and all, like him, might also be praying
silently that it would be someone else, anyone else,
whose turn would come that night. From outside, he
could faintly hear chanting. He screwed his eyes shut
as tightly as he could. The officers were having Black
Mass. He thought of what had happened to the last
soldier taken out during one of those nights. He
remembered the boy's eyes. The thought made him start
to cry.]
[3]
POLITICS CAST SHADOW ON 9/11 INQUIRY
As President Bush announces he is setting up an
inquiry into the intelligence used to justify the war
in Iraq, a separate, on-going inquiry into the 11
September 2001 attacks threatens to overshadow his
re-election campaign.
The independent commission was set up by Congress to
establish exactly what happened that day, and what
lessons can be learnt to prevent another such attack
on US soil.
[The intern walked into the Oval Office for the first
time, unable, in her nervousness, to stop thinking
about another Presidential intern and another
President. In front of her, across the carpet with the
seal she'd seen in so many movies, the man from Texas
sat, looking smaller and more frail than he ever did
on television. "Mr. President," she said, holding out
the papers she was supposed to give him, taking a
first step across that carpet. He looked up at her and
his eyes froze right through her. They were bloodshot,
those eyes, red rimmed and a little too close
together, full of a bleary sort of panic and confusion
that cut the intern in half. "Help me," whispered the
President, his voice a thin rasp. Above him, a deep,
deep shadow stirred.]
[4]
JANET JACKSON WILL MISS GRAMMYS
R&B star Patti LaBelle will replace her as a
presenter, following the furore over Jackson's Super
Bowl performance on Sunday when her breast was bared.
"I can confirm she is not attending. I won't give any
more details," said publicist Steven Huvane.
Meanwhile, a woman in the US is suing for millions of
dollars in punitive damages for showing the flash.
Terri Carlin, a 47-year-old bank clerk in Knoxville,
Tennessee, is seeking "maximum" compensation from
Jackson and Justin Timberlake, as well as from Viacom,
the owner of CBS, which broadcast the event.
[The newscasts weren't right. They just weren't. Every
time that Terri turned on the TV, there it was, that
moment captured for all the world to see, exactly the
way it had been during the Superbowl, but nobody else
could see it. Michael Jackson's sister was there, her
face a blur of empty black eye sockets and a lipless,
fanged mouth, her costume opened by that faggy kid,
exposing...how could a nipple look like that? Didn't
anyone else understand? Why didn't the newscasts
mention what the tape really showed? Why didn't anyone
else see it? How could they not, when Terri saw it
every time she closed her eyes and woke up every
night, screaming?]
[5]
CHRISTIAN FOOT SOLDIERS BATTLE FOR BUSH
An increasingly polarised presidential election
appears to be in the offing. One of the fault-lines is
religion and, in particular, President George W.
Bush's evangelical faith and how that guides his
political beliefs.
["Mommy," said little Maggie Harris, her voice small
and uncertain. It was Sunday morning, and her parents
were sitting in the living room, not moving. "Aren't
we going to church?" she asked. Her mother slowly
turned her head towards Maggie, the face slack and
rubbery. She stared at her mouth jerked up as if
pulled by wires. "Sure we are, honey," she said
slowly. "We're just getting ready." Beside her,
Maggie's Mom groaned, the sound deep and equal parts
pleasure and pain.]
[6]
MICE PRODUCE SPERM FROM MONKEYS
Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm
using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques.
The US scientists involved say their work might one
day help to conserve animals that are facing
extinction.
It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice,
although the team agree this would be a controversial
move.
The researchers, from the universities of Pennsylvania
and California, report their studies in the latest
issue of the journal Biology of Reproduction.
In 2002, the same team produced goat and pig sperm
from mice. It was the first time that sperm had been
produced outside the original animal.
[The mice were as big as dogs, frantically writhing
and gnawing at the mesh cages, their rage and
frustration was palpable. They were covered in brown
fur, and their faces were feral and terrifying. All
had human-looking penises dangling between their hind
legs. All had giant erections. The last of the
white-coated technicians hurried up the steel stairs
and closed the thick blast doors, joining her
colleagues behind the reinforced observation window.
Below, in the hangar, the gates began to grind open,
letting in the sunlight that drove the animals to even
greater hysteria. Suddenly, the locks all opened
simultaneously, and the huge mice exploded out of
their cages, bolting en mass towards the outside,
erupting onto the city streets and the fertile human
specimens obliviously doing their shopping on the main
street outside. It was a good day for love.]
[7]
HUMAN CLONING ATTEMPT HAS FAILED
The attempt by US fertility expert Panos Zavos to
clone a human has failed.
The controversial scientist recently announced he had
successfully implanted a cloned human embryo in a
woman's womb.
But tests have shown that the woman did not become
pregnant.
Other scientists have criticised Dr Zavos's work, but
he has pledged to continue his attempts to
successfully clone a human.
[Floating in the warm silence of its mother's womb,
aware that this was not the first time and would not
be the last, the unborn creature smiled.]
[8]
"Pretty good," said Uncle 12, eating another nugget of
North Korean flesh. "Pretty good all 'round.".
February 8th, On Wings of Meat
==============================
[1]
Uncle 12 sat back in his chair, puffing on a Cuban
cigar and occasionally reaching over to the frosted
glass bowl on the table to pop one of the tiny
delicacies into his mouth. He chewed slowly, allowing
the jerky nuggets to soften and release their
distinctive, meaty flavour. Nothing tasted as good as
smoked human flesh. He was especially fond of North
Korean jerky, possibly because he had taken so many
tours through the camps.
The wallphone chimed, as he knew it would, and he
sucked deeply on the cigar before pressing the answer
button on the table. Across from the window, a section
of wall shimmered and reformed itself into an image of
a jowly woman with a scar running down one cheek. It
was Aunt 5, right on schedule.
"Hail Satan," said the fifth most powerful person in
the world.
"Hail," answered the twelfth, meaning it. He'd always
liked Aunt 5, and their joint expedition to Cambodia
in the '70s was still a memory he cherished. He still
had the skulls in a closet somewhere.
"It's that time again, Carl. Time for your monthly
report. How are things in your neck of the woods?"
Uncle 12 leaned back in his chair, blowing a heavy
cloud of smoke towards the wallphone. "Well," he
finally said. "Let's see..."
[2]
PENTAGON ALARM OVER SEX ASSAULTS
US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has ordered an
investigation into alleged sexual assaults involving
US forces serving in Iraq and Kuwait.
"Sexual assault will not be tolerated in the
Department of Defense," a memo released by the
Pentagon said.
The cases involve serving personnel allegedly
assaulting one another.
[The desert night was cold and it reached into the
tent, cutting into the bones of the young soldier. He
wanted to shiver, but instead held his entire body
motionless. It was better not to move. People who
moved were sometimes...selected. For all he knew, none
of the other soldiers in the big tent were sleeping
either, and all, like him, might also be praying
silently that it would be someone else, anyone else,
whose turn would come that night. From outside, he
could faintly hear chanting. He screwed his eyes shut
as tightly as he could. The officers were having Black
Mass. He thought of what had happened to the last
soldier taken out during one of those nights. He
remembered the boy's eyes. The thought made him start
to cry.]
[3]
POLITICS CAST SHADOW ON 9/11 INQUIRY
As President Bush announces he is setting up an
inquiry into the intelligence used to justify the war
in Iraq, a separate, on-going inquiry into the 11
September 2001 attacks threatens to overshadow his
re-election campaign.
The independent commission was set up by Congress to
establish exactly what happened that day, and what
lessons can be learnt to prevent another such attack
on US soil.
[The intern walked into the Oval Office for the first
time, unable, in her nervousness, to stop thinking
about another Presidential intern and another
President. In front of her, across the carpet with the
seal she'd seen in so many movies, the man from Texas
sat, looking smaller and more frail than he ever did
on television. "Mr. President," she said, holding out
the papers she was supposed to give him, taking a
first step across that carpet. He looked up at her and
his eyes froze right through her. They were bloodshot,
those eyes, red rimmed and a little too close
together, full of a bleary sort of panic and confusion
that cut the intern in half. "Help me," whispered the
President, his voice a thin rasp. Above him, a deep,
deep shadow stirred.]
[4]
JANET JACKSON WILL MISS GRAMMYS
R&B star Patti LaBelle will replace her as a
presenter, following the furore over Jackson's Super
Bowl performance on Sunday when her breast was bared.
"I can confirm she is not attending. I won't give any
more details," said publicist Steven Huvane.
Meanwhile, a woman in the US is suing for millions of
dollars in punitive damages for showing the flash.
Terri Carlin, a 47-year-old bank clerk in Knoxville,
Tennessee, is seeking "maximum" compensation from
Jackson and Justin Timberlake, as well as from Viacom,
the owner of CBS, which broadcast the event.
[The newscasts weren't right. They just weren't. Every
time that Terri turned on the TV, there it was, that
moment captured for all the world to see, exactly the
way it had been during the Superbowl, but nobody else
could see it. Michael Jackson's sister was there, her
face a blur of empty black eye sockets and a lipless,
fanged mouth, her costume opened by that faggy kid,
exposing...how could a nipple look like that? Didn't
anyone else understand? Why didn't the newscasts
mention what the tape really showed? Why didn't anyone
else see it? How could they not, when Terri saw it
every time she closed her eyes and woke up every
night, screaming?]
[5]
CHRISTIAN FOOT SOLDIERS BATTLE FOR BUSH
An increasingly polarised presidential election
appears to be in the offing. One of the fault-lines is
religion and, in particular, President George W.
Bush's evangelical faith and how that guides his
political beliefs.
["Mommy," said little Maggie Harris, her voice small
and uncertain. It was Sunday morning, and her parents
were sitting in the living room, not moving. "Aren't
we going to church?" she asked. Her mother slowly
turned her head towards Maggie, the face slack and
rubbery. She stared at her mouth jerked up as if
pulled by wires. "Sure we are, honey," she said
slowly. "We're just getting ready." Beside her,
Maggie's Mom groaned, the sound deep and equal parts
pleasure and pain.]
[6]
MICE PRODUCE SPERM FROM MONKEYS
Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm
using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques.
The US scientists involved say their work might one
day help to conserve animals that are facing
extinction.
It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice,
although the team agree this would be a controversial
move.
The researchers, from the universities of Pennsylvania
and California, report their studies in the latest
issue of the journal Biology of Reproduction.
In 2002, the same team produced goat and pig sperm
from mice. It was the first time that sperm had been
produced outside the original animal.
[The mice were as big as dogs, frantically writhing
and gnawing at the mesh cages, their rage and
frustration was palpable. They were covered in brown
fur, and their faces were feral and terrifying. All
had human-looking penises dangling between their hind
legs. All had giant erections. The last of the
white-coated technicians hurried up the steel stairs
and closed the thick blast doors, joining her
colleagues behind the reinforced observation window.
Below, in the hangar, the gates began to grind open,
letting in the sunlight that drove the animals to even
greater hysteria. Suddenly, the locks all opened
simultaneously, and the huge mice exploded out of
their cages, bolting en mass towards the outside,
erupting onto the city streets and the fertile human
specimens obliviously doing their shopping on the main
street outside. It was a good day for love.]
[7]
HUMAN CLONING ATTEMPT HAS FAILED
The attempt by US fertility expert Panos Zavos to
clone a human has failed.
The controversial scientist recently announced he had
successfully implanted a cloned human embryo in a
woman's womb.
But tests have shown that the woman did not become
pregnant.
Other scientists have criticised Dr Zavos's work, but
he has pledged to continue his attempts to
successfully clone a human.
[Floating in the warm silence of its mother's womb,
aware that this was not the first time and would not
be the last, the unborn creature smiled.]
[8]
"Pretty good," said Uncle 12, eating another nugget of
North Korean flesh. "Pretty good all 'round.".
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