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TWL-B Week 1 : HOT or NOT (by voth)
Voth's HOT pick of the week: Da1andonly
Well, despite my expectations, Disoblige came on top after a hard fought match against one of the league favorites, Mainliner. And, again, despite my expectations, Mainliner's sharks were disappointing, and allowed Da1andonly to pick apart their team, and more importantly, their terriers. Da1andonly notched 10 TeKs and 12 FT's with a record of 86-80. Doing that against the stellar (or so I thought) sharking of Mainliner, and the normally dominating spiders of Mainliner is truly impressive. I had my doubts because I didn't think Da1 would be able to get many shots off because of their spiders, and when he did I thought Mainliner's sharks could handle it. Well, Da1andonly proved that he hasn't lost a step and can go out there every week and be an impact player for his squad. Hats off, pal.
Honorable mention: BasingCrew for beating a Dice team that is really starting to show its mortality. Kawrae, filling the terrier slot for Disoblige went 43-4 and MVP'd against the tough Mainliner team. Spastic overcame their preseason woes to defeat a very weak looking Penetrate team. Finally, Thunder continued to show that they are nothing to be fucked with by defeating a recently impressive Pirates squad in a tight match.
Voth's NOT pick of the week: Dice
Well champs, maybe the time has come for you guys to stop talking and shape up. When you guys were dominating you could talk all the shit you wanted because you could back it up, but now all you can do is refer to the past seasons, because right now you guys are looking ultra weak. I mean come on, dropping a game to Thunder, Mainliner, or Disoblige, ok I can see that, but BasingCrew? I'd say BasingCrew is the worst team in the league, and not only did you lose, you guys got murdered. Now, granted, you didn't have your top line, but your line wasn't terrible, you had quite a few starters in. I have to say my biggest disappointment is that you lost to a team that had JeBu terring. You made him look good and that should really be punishable by death. Oh yeah, I didn't see why Downfall got subbed, was it for lag or for just plain old suck? Better try a little harder in the offseason to grab some players who are actually TWL-caliber to fill holes in your lineup, or you'll keep getting embarassed like this. Yikes, I could keep going on about this but everyone knows that you guys are totally being failures so far this season. Better pick it up or all you'll have to say is "remember back when we..."
Honorable mention: Penetrate has not won a game yet, through preseason and this first week of main season. All that talent and potential, time to start finding a way to make it win games boys. Mainliner's sharks (Vatican Assassin, Max B, Apocalypse WOW!) for being handled by that old fart Da1andonly.
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TWL-D Week 1 : HOT or NOT (by Kthx)
This was a pretty good week in terms of matchups which I didn't expect based on who was playing who. Every TWL-D squad managed to get over 40 kills today except for disoblige who I will be writing about a bit later in this article. I honestly didn't expect for the matches to be this close but somehow I narrowly escaped a predicament where I ruined my prediction record, luckily I went 5/5 this week for a total of 13/15. But just to bring up TWLM a second... Eat shit and die Geza how are you going to blow so hard and let Unabled get 18 kills, you have made like 50 enemies today and your stock in TWLM going down 100 dollars should reflect on your lack of ego this week in game.
Pirates vs Quake
Just as I called it, what a great match this was to watch, although there were some close ones none really came close to the suspense in this match. Quake started out the match a little slow but pretty soon it was neck and neck after Guero pulled his head out of his ass and decided that going 1-4 wasn't a good idea and Weaver decided to pull a Metalkid and go 0-5. But still even though the match was close point wise it really seemed that Pirates had the better teaming with Attacks, Scoop, and Hercules who had subbed in for Weaver all being 3-1 to 5-1. Things kept getting worse for Quake as Deez Nuts got subbed out for lagging while going 8-5 and in came Kyou who was playing World of Warcraft apparently.. while sitting in his frequency for quake in the TWLD match. Maybe you could like.. not play for 30 minutes im sure all of the other ogres and orcs could slay the great dragon phizzlephazzle without your level 30 decay charm or whatever the hell you do there. Anyways things started going Quakes way when they realized that MetalVys wasn't going to team and that Chokle wasn't going to get any kills.Soon Vash and Guero were lighting a fire under their teams asses and ended up closing out the end game very well to clench this match and right as people were starting to murmur that the game was over one of the single most entertaining things in years happened. Ignite subbed himself in with 1 death while Chokle was running 4v1. Now I was stuck here because I had wrote 50-45 for this featured match and wanted to get a perfect score but at the same time I wanted to see Ignite die out. Sure enough Chokle manages to kill Ignite out so he starts out this season 0-1. Here is a friendly hint Ignite, you are a terrible warbird next time sub in with 2 deaths. Anyways RustyReaver and the rest of the Quake crew still in the match ended up chasing down the Chokle who was probably choking back a few laughs by this point as the entire arena erupted into laughter. 187 people came to watch this match and to my knowledge this is the most of the season so far and hopefully this will make more of you listen to me when I tell you what the featured match is and make sure you stop by to watch it.
Thunder vs Rape
I would like to refer to this game as code name "Valholy Delivers" because Valholy was subbed by Deliver after starting out the match 0-4 which is one of the main reasons why Rape is now officially a dead squad. Exalt who is really this teams heart and soul and best warbird is now gone from the squad having left to play for Dynasty after being sick of his teams.. and I use that term loosely lack of teaming. Vitja really did a good job of starting out this game with a bang, getting several really good kills in the first two minutes of play, and with Valholy's bad game it really seemed like it would be the end of the game for Rape. However to my surprise towards the middle of the match the game was tied as Exalt and Wage led Rape with an 8-4 and a 5-4. Ardour was really high on deaths and it looked like Rape might take it, however Ardour played very smart on his last death and stayed in for the remainder of the game. The fact that Rape couldn't close out this game by knocking out the nines really showed off their inexperience and lack of depth on the roster. Thunder won this game but barely it honestly could have gone either way and if Peru hadn't of left to bench for Quake instead of starting for Rape it honestly might have gone to rape instead. Oh and on a side note, deliver really did deliver with a 7-6 sub.
Dynasty vs Syne
I always told Why Try he needed to end his name with a puncuation to tell people whether he was so bad that "why try." or if he was so amazing that he was telling you "why try?" and I think after he was subbed out of a TWL-D match 1-7 today by none other than the legendary warbird cash.monay he answered my question. Still thanks to Rasaq Syne remained in this game, and rarely do I write solely about two players one from each side when giving the review of a game but this match boiled down to Rasaq vs Unabled. Several other members played key parts like Killah who before this season was a completely unknown player but went 11-7 today which is sure to get some notice, and also Cash.Monay whom despite the terrible name ended up going 5-3 on the sub from Why Try. Both of these players carried their teams but unfortunately for Syne Unabled was just too much of a beast this round to really do a whole lot against. Unabled started out 6-2, in the middle of the game he was 10-4, and at the end of the game he was putting up Colonel numbers with 17-9. Few squads let alone Syne can deal with someone pulling almost 20 kills on them so despite a very weak performance by Weak and Geza who is lucky TWLM isn't real life or else he would have 20 hits put on him right now. Still this match like the Thunder vs Rape one was really too close considering the players both squads have.
Sake vs Disoblige
I unfortunately couldn't watch this match because I was too busy obliterating Sweet but I got a very extensive report on the match from Exalt and Weak, so much like Ardour last week I would like to thank them for taking notes for a game I couldn't get to watch and from what they told me a game I wish I could have seen. Apparently Death Row, Mega Newbie, Pascone and Deluge began this horrible rape with a 9-1 start, and continued to pour the rape on thick after that. With the scent of rape in the air Disoblige members began to leave the arena in terror at this warbirding frenzy. Disoblige tried to plug the hole with some terrible javelins in the warbird position as both Brokenfist and Might went 3-7 only to be replaced by Spikey and Pjotter who both showed why they don't start in this league to begin with. With nobody even getting within three kills of having a positive record on Disoblige they have pretty much shown themselves to be the new Syne this TWL. I know it is almost too late because I think the roster lock is almost in effect but maybe you guys should go out to a pub, and have spikey and pjotter challenge people to some warbird duels below the bottem safe. Because then maybe you could find some young budding newbie who could get more than a combined 2-6 sub for a 6-14 performance.
Heavy vs Sweet
This match was honestly way too close considering that Heavy is really the favorite to win this, and on top of that Jones got subbed out a few minutes in with 0-6 by VT. VT managed to be a real nuisance later in the game even though he only got 3 kills there was alot of kills caused by people trying to get him out of the match. Other than that Caos played a decent match although many of his kills were later on during the match including his last one that put him one kill over the games real MVP Izor which was a "pop fly" by me as I sacrificed myself to end the game. The start the game was heavily dominated by Kthx and Izor as Heavy took and maintained a small lead all the way to the half way point. Towards that time Caos and Ricko started getting a few kills for Sweet and as Kthx started making some stupid rushing decisions Apok and Annoyance picked it up a notch to keep the game fairly even with Sweet leading by a small amount. But the most dominating force during the match came from Izor who managed to break the 8 kill curse this week with a nice 15 kills. He also managed to cause some pretty good rushing during the game and caused a few vulches for his team that really tipped the odds in Heavy's favor this weekend. I was really looking towards a bigger match from Apok who was fairly quiet in this match, but in the end it was enough to pull off the win.
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Hot Player of the Week - Izor -
I know this is kinda lame because we capped a squad for five years together but everyone who is thinking that can go suck a big one. No one player made as much of a difference in a game where the players were halfway decent (sorry Unabled but pulling 17 kills is nice if that had been like.. Rape or Dyn instead of Syne you would be here not Izor). But without Izor in it would have been a sad week for Heavy as they would have lost their first match of the season and against a squad who shouldn't have even been a hard opponent for them. Because of the amount of kills, the value of the kills, and the kills gained through his teaming, Izor is the Hot player this week in TWL-D.
Not Player of the Week - Ignite -
Even though the 8-20 combination of Might/Pjotter/Spikey/Brokenfist is fairly bad nothing could compare to the shame that Ignite must feel. Subbing yourself into a game that is 4v1 with the other teams last player on 9 might seem like a good idea to you, so you can talk shit after the game about how you played the game and still won, and so at the end of the season in the off chance that Quake wins you can say you actually played a few games during the season. Talk about one of the all time ultimate backfires though, Chokle in perhaps what will be his one shining moment in what otherwise looks like will be a dismal season for him manages to sit Ignite so that his TWL record is now 0-1. Ignite maybe you should start practicing and actually be of some use to your team other than making signs to panda girl and writing a paycheck so people will put up with your terrible captainship. If you do this then maybe you can sub in with 2 deaths left and get one kill before subbing yourself out so that you don't end this season with a 0-1 record.
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Hot or Not: TWLJ Week 1
Written by tales and flared
Hot: Shock Therapy (Dynasty)
This game started off as an absolute blood bath—the screen was covered in red bullets. In a game that was predicted to be the most interesting of them all for TWLJ, Dynasty pulled out a nice win vs. Disoblige, both teams showing strong lines. Even with revered (Dynasty) lagging out and causing extra deaths, they were able to pull off the win. Shock Therapy did more than his part pulling off an excellent 14-6 to guarantee a victory for Dynasty. This guy has a good season coming up.
Honorable Mentions: The only other game that had the possibility of going either way was Quake vs Thunder. Fludd (Thunder) gets an honorable mention for going 14-9 against Quake.
Not: RednaZ, Spikey (Disoblige)
For a game that could’ve gone either way, these two really blew it for Disoblige. Starting the game weak with an embarrassing 1-5, RednaZ (Disoblige) was subbed out for a cloud called Nimbostratus, the two of them combining for a 2-10. Spikey (Disoblige), a player who seemed to be having some great javelin games in TWD, wasn’t able to pull his weight in this game, finishing with a 5-10. Had these players been able to get more than half as many kills as they had deaths, this game could’ve been a lot closer.
Dishonorable Mentions: DaRuler/Paradise (Laser) for a combined 3-10 against Pirates and Havok (dicE) for getting subbed out after going 2-5 against Deliria.
Voth's HOT pick of the week: Da1andonly
Well, despite my expectations, Disoblige came on top after a hard fought match against one of the league favorites, Mainliner. And, again, despite my expectations, Mainliner's sharks were disappointing, and allowed Da1andonly to pick apart their team, and more importantly, their terriers. Da1andonly notched 10 TeKs and 12 FT's with a record of 86-80. Doing that against the stellar (or so I thought) sharking of Mainliner, and the normally dominating spiders of Mainliner is truly impressive. I had my doubts because I didn't think Da1 would be able to get many shots off because of their spiders, and when he did I thought Mainliner's sharks could handle it. Well, Da1andonly proved that he hasn't lost a step and can go out there every week and be an impact player for his squad. Hats off, pal.
Honorable mention: BasingCrew for beating a Dice team that is really starting to show its mortality. Kawrae, filling the terrier slot for Disoblige went 43-4 and MVP'd against the tough Mainliner team. Spastic overcame their preseason woes to defeat a very weak looking Penetrate team. Finally, Thunder continued to show that they are nothing to be fucked with by defeating a recently impressive Pirates squad in a tight match.
Voth's NOT pick of the week: Dice
Well champs, maybe the time has come for you guys to stop talking and shape up. When you guys were dominating you could talk all the shit you wanted because you could back it up, but now all you can do is refer to the past seasons, because right now you guys are looking ultra weak. I mean come on, dropping a game to Thunder, Mainliner, or Disoblige, ok I can see that, but BasingCrew? I'd say BasingCrew is the worst team in the league, and not only did you lose, you guys got murdered. Now, granted, you didn't have your top line, but your line wasn't terrible, you had quite a few starters in. I have to say my biggest disappointment is that you lost to a team that had JeBu terring. You made him look good and that should really be punishable by death. Oh yeah, I didn't see why Downfall got subbed, was it for lag or for just plain old suck? Better try a little harder in the offseason to grab some players who are actually TWL-caliber to fill holes in your lineup, or you'll keep getting embarassed like this. Yikes, I could keep going on about this but everyone knows that you guys are totally being failures so far this season. Better pick it up or all you'll have to say is "remember back when we..."
Honorable mention: Penetrate has not won a game yet, through preseason and this first week of main season. All that talent and potential, time to start finding a way to make it win games boys. Mainliner's sharks (Vatican Assassin, Max B, Apocalypse WOW!) for being handled by that old fart Da1andonly.
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TWL-D Week 1 : HOT or NOT (by Kthx)
This was a pretty good week in terms of matchups which I didn't expect based on who was playing who. Every TWL-D squad managed to get over 40 kills today except for disoblige who I will be writing about a bit later in this article. I honestly didn't expect for the matches to be this close but somehow I narrowly escaped a predicament where I ruined my prediction record, luckily I went 5/5 this week for a total of 13/15. But just to bring up TWLM a second... Eat shit and die Geza how are you going to blow so hard and let Unabled get 18 kills, you have made like 50 enemies today and your stock in TWLM going down 100 dollars should reflect on your lack of ego this week in game.
Pirates vs Quake
Just as I called it, what a great match this was to watch, although there were some close ones none really came close to the suspense in this match. Quake started out the match a little slow but pretty soon it was neck and neck after Guero pulled his head out of his ass and decided that going 1-4 wasn't a good idea and Weaver decided to pull a Metalkid and go 0-5. But still even though the match was close point wise it really seemed that Pirates had the better teaming with Attacks, Scoop, and Hercules who had subbed in for Weaver all being 3-1 to 5-1. Things kept getting worse for Quake as Deez Nuts got subbed out for lagging while going 8-5 and in came Kyou who was playing World of Warcraft apparently.. while sitting in his frequency for quake in the TWLD match. Maybe you could like.. not play for 30 minutes im sure all of the other ogres and orcs could slay the great dragon phizzlephazzle without your level 30 decay charm or whatever the hell you do there. Anyways things started going Quakes way when they realized that MetalVys wasn't going to team and that Chokle wasn't going to get any kills.Soon Vash and Guero were lighting a fire under their teams asses and ended up closing out the end game very well to clench this match and right as people were starting to murmur that the game was over one of the single most entertaining things in years happened. Ignite subbed himself in with 1 death while Chokle was running 4v1. Now I was stuck here because I had wrote 50-45 for this featured match and wanted to get a perfect score but at the same time I wanted to see Ignite die out. Sure enough Chokle manages to kill Ignite out so he starts out this season 0-1. Here is a friendly hint Ignite, you are a terrible warbird next time sub in with 2 deaths. Anyways RustyReaver and the rest of the Quake crew still in the match ended up chasing down the Chokle who was probably choking back a few laughs by this point as the entire arena erupted into laughter. 187 people came to watch this match and to my knowledge this is the most of the season so far and hopefully this will make more of you listen to me when I tell you what the featured match is and make sure you stop by to watch it.
Thunder vs Rape
I would like to refer to this game as code name "Valholy Delivers" because Valholy was subbed by Deliver after starting out the match 0-4 which is one of the main reasons why Rape is now officially a dead squad. Exalt who is really this teams heart and soul and best warbird is now gone from the squad having left to play for Dynasty after being sick of his teams.. and I use that term loosely lack of teaming. Vitja really did a good job of starting out this game with a bang, getting several really good kills in the first two minutes of play, and with Valholy's bad game it really seemed like it would be the end of the game for Rape. However to my surprise towards the middle of the match the game was tied as Exalt and Wage led Rape with an 8-4 and a 5-4. Ardour was really high on deaths and it looked like Rape might take it, however Ardour played very smart on his last death and stayed in for the remainder of the game. The fact that Rape couldn't close out this game by knocking out the nines really showed off their inexperience and lack of depth on the roster. Thunder won this game but barely it honestly could have gone either way and if Peru hadn't of left to bench for Quake instead of starting for Rape it honestly might have gone to rape instead. Oh and on a side note, deliver really did deliver with a 7-6 sub.
Dynasty vs Syne
I always told Why Try he needed to end his name with a puncuation to tell people whether he was so bad that "why try." or if he was so amazing that he was telling you "why try?" and I think after he was subbed out of a TWL-D match 1-7 today by none other than the legendary warbird cash.monay he answered my question. Still thanks to Rasaq Syne remained in this game, and rarely do I write solely about two players one from each side when giving the review of a game but this match boiled down to Rasaq vs Unabled. Several other members played key parts like Killah who before this season was a completely unknown player but went 11-7 today which is sure to get some notice, and also Cash.Monay whom despite the terrible name ended up going 5-3 on the sub from Why Try. Both of these players carried their teams but unfortunately for Syne Unabled was just too much of a beast this round to really do a whole lot against. Unabled started out 6-2, in the middle of the game he was 10-4, and at the end of the game he was putting up Colonel numbers with 17-9. Few squads let alone Syne can deal with someone pulling almost 20 kills on them so despite a very weak performance by Weak and Geza who is lucky TWLM isn't real life or else he would have 20 hits put on him right now. Still this match like the Thunder vs Rape one was really too close considering the players both squads have.
Sake vs Disoblige
I unfortunately couldn't watch this match because I was too busy obliterating Sweet but I got a very extensive report on the match from Exalt and Weak, so much like Ardour last week I would like to thank them for taking notes for a game I couldn't get to watch and from what they told me a game I wish I could have seen. Apparently Death Row, Mega Newbie, Pascone and Deluge began this horrible rape with a 9-1 start, and continued to pour the rape on thick after that. With the scent of rape in the air Disoblige members began to leave the arena in terror at this warbirding frenzy. Disoblige tried to plug the hole with some terrible javelins in the warbird position as both Brokenfist and Might went 3-7 only to be replaced by Spikey and Pjotter who both showed why they don't start in this league to begin with. With nobody even getting within three kills of having a positive record on Disoblige they have pretty much shown themselves to be the new Syne this TWL. I know it is almost too late because I think the roster lock is almost in effect but maybe you guys should go out to a pub, and have spikey and pjotter challenge people to some warbird duels below the bottem safe. Because then maybe you could find some young budding newbie who could get more than a combined 2-6 sub for a 6-14 performance.
Heavy vs Sweet
This match was honestly way too close considering that Heavy is really the favorite to win this, and on top of that Jones got subbed out a few minutes in with 0-6 by VT. VT managed to be a real nuisance later in the game even though he only got 3 kills there was alot of kills caused by people trying to get him out of the match. Other than that Caos played a decent match although many of his kills were later on during the match including his last one that put him one kill over the games real MVP Izor which was a "pop fly" by me as I sacrificed myself to end the game. The start the game was heavily dominated by Kthx and Izor as Heavy took and maintained a small lead all the way to the half way point. Towards that time Caos and Ricko started getting a few kills for Sweet and as Kthx started making some stupid rushing decisions Apok and Annoyance picked it up a notch to keep the game fairly even with Sweet leading by a small amount. But the most dominating force during the match came from Izor who managed to break the 8 kill curse this week with a nice 15 kills. He also managed to cause some pretty good rushing during the game and caused a few vulches for his team that really tipped the odds in Heavy's favor this weekend. I was really looking towards a bigger match from Apok who was fairly quiet in this match, but in the end it was enough to pull off the win.
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Hot Player of the Week - Izor -
I know this is kinda lame because we capped a squad for five years together but everyone who is thinking that can go suck a big one. No one player made as much of a difference in a game where the players were halfway decent (sorry Unabled but pulling 17 kills is nice if that had been like.. Rape or Dyn instead of Syne you would be here not Izor). But without Izor in it would have been a sad week for Heavy as they would have lost their first match of the season and against a squad who shouldn't have even been a hard opponent for them. Because of the amount of kills, the value of the kills, and the kills gained through his teaming, Izor is the Hot player this week in TWL-D.
Not Player of the Week - Ignite -
Even though the 8-20 combination of Might/Pjotter/Spikey/Brokenfist is fairly bad nothing could compare to the shame that Ignite must feel. Subbing yourself into a game that is 4v1 with the other teams last player on 9 might seem like a good idea to you, so you can talk shit after the game about how you played the game and still won, and so at the end of the season in the off chance that Quake wins you can say you actually played a few games during the season. Talk about one of the all time ultimate backfires though, Chokle in perhaps what will be his one shining moment in what otherwise looks like will be a dismal season for him manages to sit Ignite so that his TWL record is now 0-1. Ignite maybe you should start practicing and actually be of some use to your team other than making signs to panda girl and writing a paycheck so people will put up with your terrible captainship. If you do this then maybe you can sub in with 2 deaths left and get one kill before subbing yourself out so that you don't end this season with a 0-1 record.
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Hot or Not: TWLJ Week 1
Written by tales and flared
Hot: Shock Therapy (Dynasty)
This game started off as an absolute blood bath—the screen was covered in red bullets. In a game that was predicted to be the most interesting of them all for TWLJ, Dynasty pulled out a nice win vs. Disoblige, both teams showing strong lines. Even with revered (Dynasty) lagging out and causing extra deaths, they were able to pull off the win. Shock Therapy did more than his part pulling off an excellent 14-6 to guarantee a victory for Dynasty. This guy has a good season coming up.
Honorable Mentions: The only other game that had the possibility of going either way was Quake vs Thunder. Fludd (Thunder) gets an honorable mention for going 14-9 against Quake.
Not: RednaZ, Spikey (Disoblige)
For a game that could’ve gone either way, these two really blew it for Disoblige. Starting the game weak with an embarrassing 1-5, RednaZ (Disoblige) was subbed out for a cloud called Nimbostratus, the two of them combining for a 2-10. Spikey (Disoblige), a player who seemed to be having some great javelin games in TWD, wasn’t able to pull his weight in this game, finishing with a 5-10. Had these players been able to get more than half as many kills as they had deaths, this game could’ve been a lot closer.
Dishonorable Mentions: DaRuler/Paradise (Laser) for a combined 3-10 against Pirates and Havok (dicE) for getting subbed out after going 2-5 against Deliria.
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