Jokes

[Nockm]

Thank yourself after looking at yer own avatar. ::EYES ROLLING::

[Superted]

Thank yourself after looking at yer own avatar. ::EYES ROLLING::

.......Good point, I'll change that now.

[Pandagirl!]

I'm so used to seeing your old avatar though, as weird as it may have been.

[Twerp]

There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who
started staring at him, because he was dressed in really colorful
clothing.

He had all this colorful make-up on, and his hair was spiked up with
red,green,& yellow with feathers.

The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin'at,eh? Didn't you do
anything strange when you were a teenager?"

"Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I screwed a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son.




#2 An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply,
"For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the Money!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."




#3 A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"

The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"

The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't fit."




Edit: This guy walks into a diner. He checks the menu and decides on the special. The waitress said, "We are all out of that. That the elderly guy over by the bar ordered the last of it." The man notices that he hasn't even touched the special so he went over there to ask for it. The guy agreed and the man ate happily. When he was half way through with his meal, he hit something hard. He dug around it and found out it was a dead rat. He threw up and the old man said, "Yeah, that was where I got too."

[Abatis]

Thanks

Nice ones, Twerp. Thanks for the laugh.

[Rapids]

A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees ...

A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President Bush and Colin Powell sitting together. He introduces himself and asks President Bush, "How goes the War effort, Sir?"
President Bush answers, "We're getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqi's and one blonde."

The guy asks in astonishment, "Why are you killing one blonde?"

President Bush turns to Colin Powell and says, "See, I told you people wouldn't care about the Iraqi's."

[froedrick]

you're jokes about the president and that situation are really not funny dood.

[Rapids]

Skip To My Fool

One day, a blonde was skipping on some train tracks singing "21, 21, 21, 21,...''''
Along came a blonde who thought it looked like fun.

So she joined in and started singing "21, 21, 21, 21," and then a train came.

The brunette jumped off the tracks but the train ran over the blonde.

The brunette got back on the train tracks and started singing "22, 22, 22, 22,..."

[Rapids]

Rope a Dope

There were five blondes and one brunette holding onto a rope off the edge of a cliff.
But their rope could only bear the weight of of five people.

The brunette said, "Save yourselves. I'll let go."

Impressed by her sacrifice, all of the blondes clapped...