Announcement

**ZeUs!!** · 11-05-2005, 06:12 PM

WASHINGTON, DC—As experts issue increasingly dire warnings of an avian flu epidemic, President Bush signed an executive order Tuesday authorizing the mass slaughter of "all bald eagles found anywhere within our borders."
Bush Orders Mass Bald Eagle Slaughter To Stop Spread Of Bird Flu

"As president, my first duty is to protect the American people, whether the threat is terrorists or deadly, fast-mutating bird viruses," said Bush, standing on the lawn of the National Mall before a specially built pyre stacked with recently killed bald eagles. "This proactive initiative will rid our nation of this potentially disease-ridden winged animal."

Bush added: "I want these birds rounded up, tied down, and their throats slit."

Executive Order 1342A, which calls for the annihilation of the bald eagle, specifies that each carcass shall be wrapped in a single American flag, doused with gasoline, and burned.

The order, written by members of Bush's Council of Advisers on Science and Technology, nullifies the 1973 Endangered Species Act and the 1940 Bald Eagle Protection Act. It will be overseen by the Department of the Interior, which will work closely with state natural-resource agencies and National Guard units to ensure that the bald eagle threat is eliminated.

"This order was developed with the help of my top science advisers," Bush said. "We can all trust that their wisdom, manifested by this bold, eagle-killing initiative, will protect us from any deadly bird-related diseases."

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will meet with the Canadian prime minister and Mexican president next week to discuss eradication efforts for bald eagle populations in their countries. The Department of the Interior's deadline for bald eagle annihilation is July 4, 2006.
Enlarge ImageBush Orders Mass Bald Eagle Slaughter To Stop Spread Of Bird Flu

In a photo opportunity, President Bush blow-torches several pinned-down eagles.

According to White House sources, Bush is adopting a hands-off attitude regarding the methodology of eagle slaughtering. Telling advisers that he would prefer that the eagles have their throats slit for "humane purposes," the president said he is willing to allow wildlife officials to exercise their own judgment. According U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Director "Whooping" Dale Hall, the killing strategies are many and varied.

"Bald eagles may not be as imposing as, say, bears or wolves, but they are surprisingly difficult to kill," Hall said. "We can blow them off their perches with air rifles, stun them with ball-peen hammers, or break their wings, beaks, and necks, but still, some survive."

Hall continued: "I'm encouraging officials on the local level to utilize 'certain kill' methods, such as wrapping the eagle in radioactive waste and burying it upside-down in an old-growth forest."

Hall urged Boy Scout troops to join in the effort by ferreting out eagle nests and smashing the eggs underfoot.

The FWS estimates the population of the bald eagle, which the Second Continental Congress designated as the national bird in 1782, to be roughly 20,000 in the lower 48 states, with an additional 35,000 in Alaska. Tuesday afternoon, the FWS elevated the bald eagle's endangered-species status from "stable" to "severely threatened," its most serious designation.

Administration critics have suggested that the president's plan is too narrow in scope, and leaves Americans susceptible to contact with a wide variety of other dangerous birds.

"What about less prominent but far more abundant fowl common to residential areas, such as bluebirds, cardinals, or geese—shouldn't they die, too?" said Democratic Party strategist Elaine Quigley, appearing on MSNBC's Hardball. "Benjamin Franklin once said that the wild turkey, not the bald eagle, should be the emblematic bird of America. Why aren't we executing those, too?"

The Office Of The White House Counsel, which oversees the usage of all executive-branch insignias, is expected to approve a new eagle-free presidential seal as early as next week.

**Subjugation** · 11-05-2005, 06:15 PM

Does this mean no chickensexing, pigeonholing, or duckfucking?

**404 Not Found** · 11-05-2005, 08:51 PM

it's about time the Lurie, Banner & Reid did something.

Owens had Philly in his back pocket after last year and would have had merchandise contracts galore, but he opened his mouth.

The merchanidse sponsored monies he could have made if he just shut up, would be almost if not double his 9 million a year and the 2 million signing bonus he had. You gotta wonder where his agent Drew Asswipe Rosenfeld's brain was in advising Owens.

As a Philly fan and citizen, I can only say that with Owens out, perhaps the team can focus and at least make a run for the playoff's. Thank goodness the NFC East is still anyones division!

**Subjugation** · 11-05-2005, 10:07 PM

Yo, 404...what's the local word about what they're going to do with TO? Are they going to keep him or dump him? Are they going to sit him the rest of the season?

It helps having a philly native to hear all the philly radio shows. I bet they must be going oooooooooff!

**404 Not Found** · 11-05-2005, 10:58 PM

Originally posted by jesus=terrorist

Yo, 404...what's the local word about what they're going to do with TO? Are they going to keep him or dump him? Are they going to sit him the rest of the season?

It helps having a philly native to hear all the philly radio shows. I bet they must be going oooooooooff!

Sounds like you have listened to Philly Sports radio before? NY's WFAN is very similar.

Well the local sports radio here is 610 WIP they have a website that has the show online live.

Looks like all we know for now is he is benched for tomorrow & possibly the entire season. He will not be back next year...that seems to be for sure.

I say bench him and just pay out his contract and say cya!

He is upset that the team did not celebrate his 100 TD...was there supposed to be a ticker-tape parade? He's all about T.O. and nothing else...they where selling shirts that said T.O.F.U. Of course it spelled out the entire saying below the shirt....we all know what the F.U. was about

Listen for the Howard Eskin show if you want the good dirt...on weekdays at 3 - 7PM EST

Btw they have the T.O. Show archived on WIP if you want to hear his side and hear him cry!

**Subjugation** · 11-05-2005, 11:51 PM

Awesome, thanks for the link. I'm going to check this out fo sho.

Nah, I haven't heard the Philly shows first hand, but the Philly fans have a national reputation for being knowledgable, loyal, but totally fucking ruthless.

PH · 11-05-2005, 11:59 PM

As if the Eagles needed another nail in their coffin. McNabb's battling a sports hernia, they can't run the ball to save their lives and their defense is more vulnerable than a drugged-up hooker. Any real player would step up and take a leadership role and try to turn things around, but not T.O.! No, heaven forbid he use common sense. "Let's just blast the team's entire front office and staff! Fuck yeah!" And on top of that, the Eagles don't have a receiver that's even remotely comparable to Owens (yes, big mouth or not, I have to respect his ability at the position), so good luck replacing him! :groovy:

I wouldn't pay him a goddamn dime. I'd pay him for how much he's already played, rip his contract up and throw it in the garbage. He's as destructive to team morale as any player I've EVER seen, and no player is worth that.

**404 Not Found** · 11-06-2005, 12:00 AM

LOL...interesting to know that the fans have a reputation...I think that was from the Monday Night game when the fans bombed Santa Clause with snowballs and boo'd him...thats also when Brent Mussberger got nailed in the head with a snowball.

Ruthless...perhaps...passionate...yes! There are tons of dickhead fans out here...Howard Eskin's show I mentioned is a good listen! BTW...thats who the Burger King guy was modeled after. He has the nickname "King" and they made a bobblehead of him, and next thing ya know there is the BK commercials and it was too much of a coincidence. Howard is a dick...but he is awesome in dealing with the retarded fans that call in.

**404 Not Found** · 11-06-2005, 12:11 AM

Originally posted by PH

the Eagles don't have a receiver that's even remotely comparable to Owens (yes, big mouth or not, I have to respect his ability at the position), so good luck replacing him! :groovy:

Your correct on every point there. They will not have a feasible replacement for him for years. They have no run, McNabb can't throw for more than 5 - 10 yards, so you know he will be doing the Screen and Play Options to there RB and TE. With the sports hernia, he cannot run to the outside and throw across the field and w/o his run he is stuck in the pocket. The Eagles Defense is the only thing that has kept them alive all season IMHO.

They will need to concentrate on the draft next year. Personally I like Westbrook, but he is not the power Running Back they need. He is being used more in a TE situation.

All the opposing team needs on Def. is a good secondary line and they have us. No tricks...just plain and simple.

Philly just has no more weapons....they should have kept Duece Staley w/ Westbrook, but instead they kept Buckwalter for the 4th season and I think he has only played in 3 actual games, since he gets injured ever year from the start.

**Ilya** · 11-06-2005, 12:16 AM

cant stand TO

**Exotic** · 11-06-2005, 12:39 AM

what you guys need to know is that TO speaks his mind and if he needs more money he needs to feed his family

**Subjugation** · 11-06-2005, 12:40 AM

Originally posted by 404 Not Found

LOL...interesting to know that the fans have a reputation...I think that was from the Monday Night game when the fans bombed Santa Clause with snowballs and boo'd him...thats also when Brent Mussberger got nailed in the head with a snowball.

Ruthless...perhaps...passionate...yes!

Sure, passionate too. But it was a combination of a few events that I've heard over the last decade or so...

I have seen them rain plastic bottles over a call during a Sixers game a few years ago, and didn't they cheer an opposing player getting seriously injured during an Eagles game a few years ago? They booed Kobe Bryant when he returned back to Philly. And yes, the snowball incident too.

Also, since I'm from Sacramento, the local guys here were talking about C Webb going to the Sixers and will have to quit being such a baby the way the media reports on his personal life. One of the comments they made were along the lines of, "If Webber has a problem with Sacramento's reporters, it's going to get worse in Philly. He will be under a microscope, and if he goes 3-12 a few games in a row he will get booed out of the gym."

Also, Jim Rome and the ESPN talking heads have talked about the Philly reputation also. I'm not slamming your town, 404, but it's clear they have a long history of sports franchizes, and they obviously expect excellence. When they don't get it, they are not shy about letting their feelings be known.

Edit: Ok, I found a few specific references for ya

•In 1999, fans jeered Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin as he lay on the field for 20 minutes, suffering from a neck injury that ended his career.
•That same year, fans threw D batteries at St. Louis Cardinals outfielder J.D. Drew, who held out for a year after the Phillies drafted him and eventually signed with the Cards instead.
•Matthew Scott, the only person in the United States to have received a hand transplant, was asked by the Phillies to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the team's home opener in 1999. The pitch, from his transplanted hand, dribbled over the plate. The fans booed.
•Eagles fans famously blasted Santa Claus with a shower of snowballs at halftime of a game as St. Nick circled helplessly around the field before stadium officials rescued him.

**DoTheFandango** · 11-06-2005, 12:44 AM

lol @ who ever has T.O.

But I have Donovan and their D/ST, so I'm fucked too.

Thank god I got Eli Manning and the Colts D/ST.

PH · 11-06-2005, 12:58 AM

Thank god I don't have anyone that has anything to do with the Eagles. They're headed in the same direction as the Vikings: straight to hell.

Announcement

Terrell Owens suspended indefinitely by Eagles

Terrell Owens suspended indefinitely by Eagles

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