Original Jokes?

[Zabuza]

Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!", says Dave, "When are you going out?"

"Well, I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible.", says Dave.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest, sexiest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

Paul slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."

ROFL

[RoDNeY]

Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!", says Dave, "When are you going out?"

"Well, I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible.", says Dave.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest, sexiest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

Paul slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."

that was a good one, i had to think about it a little bit tho :up:

[uranium]

Knock. Knock.
(who's there?)
I eat mop
(this is where you say I eat mop who) B)

[Squeezer]

How about this one.

An Amish man and his son are walking through a shopping mall for the first time in their lives, when they come upon an elevator. They stand watching it for a few seconds, wondering how it works, when all of the sudden, the doors open. The father and son stand and watch frightened, as an old woman suddenly gets into the elevator. The doors close, and the elevator appears to disappear.

When it comes back down,and the doors open, a beautiful blonde woman with great features walks out.

The son and father are in a state of bewilderment.

"What just happened dad?" asked the son.

To which his father replied, "I have no idea son, but go find your mother."

[Ashlee]

I don't get it

[Dealt]

Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!", says Dave, "When are you going out?"

"Well, I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible.", says Dave.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest, sexiest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

Paul slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."

I didnt laugh.

[Zabuza]

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

I don't get it

Well see they're omish and they dont know about technology, so they thought the old women went in, and came out beautiful, so the guy told his son to get his mother, cause his mother is probably ugly

Cause omish people are ugly :/

[Ewan]

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?


She had no arms

[Pressure]

wow.

[Unorthadox]

Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!", says Dave, "When are you going out?"

"Well, I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible.", says Dave.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest, sexiest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

Paul slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."

I like that one ^-^

[Pressure]

lol.

[RoDNeY]

why don't polish people breast feed?
it hurts them when they boiled their nipples

What was the worst 10 years of thix's life?

First grade

[Ewan]

why don't polish people breast feed?
it hurts them when they boiled their nipples

I don't get it

[Zabuza]

Join the group.

[project dragon]

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?


She had no arms

ROFL WINNAR! f