Advent Children!

[Vykromond]

7.

The understated elegance is simply breathtaking, isn't it? In a year of praising ostentation, to find this little number in the weekly press junket was a breath of fresh air. Which was, uhm, good, because other breath had been, uhm, taken.

6.

From charmingly simple to bafflingly (but rewardingly) complex. This classic-in-the-making addresses that most challenging of road-marking difficulties: the fork in the road. Note particularly the use of asymmetry. Of the new entries in the field, this one seems most prominent as far as performance in future lists.

5.

Perhaps road-forks captured my imagination this year because otherwise it was such an inward-looking period in the critical hivemind. Perhaps it's because they're an expanding area of road-marking excellence, with the premier geniuses in the field all taking their turn to (slowly) come around to addressing the inherent paradoxes of the form. Regardless of the reason, it was a year to examine the different interpretations, old and new, of the road-fork problem. This one is an oldie but a goodie: revolutionary at its première, it still carries that je ne sais quois that can elicit gasps at any public convention. Experimental flourishes like the alternating dark bars and the daring tone shift just before the fork proper capture the imagination many years after their début.

[Vykromond]

4.

A criminally underrated piece of work. What many laymen fail to understand is that the fact that a marking may not have taken much effort to generate is no reason to dismiss it as art form. The sparest arrangement on this list is one of the most emotionally gripping. Dig the fluorescence of the leftmost market and tell a brotha that this wasn't among the standout road markings of the year.

3.

Another "Southeast Roads Collective" piece, the precise meanings of which will be discussed further down in the list because here our attention is drawn to another important aspect of the piece- it's another road fork! Yes, yes, I know- too many road forks, Vykromond! Not so. First off, any discussion of road forks altogether would have to include this work, the prototype for all successful treatments of what I like to call "la difficulty with forks in the epistrophic avenue formation conglomerate of Florida." Furthermore, what's most impressive about this is that so many years on it remains the premier "go-to" model for success in this subfield. In my mind, that achievement is truly worthy of critical ooh- and aah-ing. As for the aesthetics of the piece itself, one needs to look no further than Lester Roadbangs's many pieces on the "Southeast Roads Collective"'s output in the early '90s.

2.

When the focus of the moment is on introspection and looking back to the legends of the form, what better source to turn to than the seminal "Southeast Roads Collective"? Year after year in the early '90s, this group of likeminded artists revolutionized the conceptualizations of Floridian road marking criticism, turning out piece after piece that capitalized upon the (mis?)informed preconceptions of the critical community to the point that they still remain potent seducers of the imagination.

Now, more than a decade on, this trend deserves a reexamination, and so far the critical community has proved itself up to the task. As i wrote so eloquently in my end-of-year recap two years ago, what is most remarkable about the SRC's work is that it actually holds up. And here "we" were (where by "we" I of course mean all critics but myself), assuming it would have aged horribly and revealed the artists as the road-marking sophists we thought they undoubtedly must be! Shameful, and yet reassuring.

Without further ado, I'd like to present my #1 road marking in the state of Florida for 2005:

But first an introduction. Certainly, we are all acquainted with this marking. As I enumerated in this list, this was a year where we turned to the classics for inspiration, and what you are about to see may be the greatest classic of them all. But don't let that color your reinterpretation of the work. Particularly, in order to alleviate the issue of nostalgia I have used an entirely new visual perspective on the marking in order to "jar" the viewer's memory from its holding pattern. Hopefully, this will allow the more impartial viewers among the list's audience to make a more impartial reevaluation of what may be the greatest Floridian road marking of all time.

Without further ado, the #1 marking of the year:

(I will be allowing the marking itself to pass without comment. Like #9, the amount of critical prose already expended upon it renders further dissection useless. Current interpretation is left to the individual, subjective interpreter.)

[Vykromond]

1.

[Subjugation]

Yes, I seriously did try and click that link.

[DoTheFandango]

FF7 sucked.

[Galleleo]

I must agree with Vyk, tho I would have switched number 10. with number 8. Just because the pure simpleness acustomed with the serenity and tranquility in number 10, it deserves a higher spot.

[ZeUs!!]

Today was Christmas Day and our household is of a generally Christian persuasion, meaning that today I received:
- 3 cd's
- A distortion pedal
- A guitar bag
- A stand
- A new wallet
- My parents then hid £50 worth of Euros in the crackers so they flew out when I pulled one, which made me very happy as I'm going to Europe in a week
- My parents then surprised me with a brand new digital camera that I definately did not expect or ask for

However out of all of these, Vykromond made me smile the most



ATTN: CONCRETESCHLYRD

One of the cd's I received was Sluts of Trust. Here's how the conversation in the car on the way to pick up my Nan went:
Me: Do you remember about 3/4 years ago we were listening to an internet radio station to do with subspace, and we were talking to the DJ and he played us a song?
Dad: Yeah, what were their names?...
Me: Well I was speaking to the DJ again about 9 months ago and he told me to download the Sluts of Trust cd, which I did and decided was excellent, which is why I put it on my christmas list and is why we are sitting here listening to it today. So you can thank the DJ
Dad: ... AH YES, THE POLLIES!

[ogron]

pollies...rofl

[duel pasta]

the movies is fucking awesome. The fighjt scenes are just brilliant! I can watch that movie over and over and over and over! I already played FF7 like 10 times and it never bores!

[K2Grey]

Truly inspiring road markings, Vyk. Today my eyes have been opened: a heaven beyond heavens, a man above men.