Sex Story Time

[Nickname]

I just had a really rough night with a girl i'm seeing, things went from super awesome to 'crawl is a hole and die'. It's a tad to fresh to talk about just yet, but I need to feel better now. Post your sex stories that went horribly wrong here and let the world smile at your (or your friends) misfortunes.


I know this thread isn't overly family friendly, thats why the Topic to make it obvious to stay out. But lets be honest here, theres been some crap on here before, and this is going to hopfully remain a serious, if not funny, thread.

[Nickname]

apparently nobody on these forums has sex, and that a crying ass shame.

[Squeezer]

First time I ever gave a girl oral, I was doing it so good that she shuddered and kneed me in the nose, giving me a bloody nose.

Not only was it traumatizing, but when you go to an all-boys school, you catch a lot of shit for something like that. Even now, in college, my friends that are up here with me will give me occaisional flak for it.

[Liquid Blue]

I had to watch Serenity with one of my previous girlfriends (she's a fan of firefly) and afterwards I was hoping she could ride my spaceship if you get my drift. Just as we were getting hot and heavy her mom wakes upstairs (doesn't come down mind you) but the girl freaked out and wouldn't do it. The mom was mad religious and there would have been hell to pay if she had come downstairs and seen her daughter in doggie style position on the couch.

So I went home not really remember the movie (was more concerned with the tits in my lap) and a case of blue balls. Damn firefly :turned:

[Money]

lmao one time i had this 1983 blazer and i was fucking this bitch in the back it was coold and i left it running, sometimes my transmission would magically slip out of park and go into reverse, on many occasion, but i wasnt concerned with that as i was tearin that shit up we were in taco bell parking lot LMAO

i was sitting down in the back seat and she was ridin me and all thesudden we started rolling and i was parked on kind of a hill lmao omg so i threw the bitch off me leaped from the back seat... to the brake pedal slammed the break with my hand and it stopped i put it in park, mind you to jump from the back seat to the brake pedal left my ass wide open in the air, next thing i know the bitch is sucking my nuts (she was a FREAK <3 highschool)


end of story.

[Fit of Rage]

Girlfriend and I had just started the tango for two and suddenly the neighbor knocks on the front door. No big deal, I thought I had locked. We keep going, and then she comes in! "Helloooooo, anybody home?" and the neighbor starts walking around the house!

Lesson learned, lock the door.

[AFPilot]

A buddy of mine and his buddy went into a brothel. One of the hookers walked by with a black eye and my buddy's buddy asked the maddam "Whoa! How much to give a bitch a black eye?"

[Nickname]

lmao one time i had this 1983 blazer and i was fucking this bitch in the back it was coold and i left it running, sometimes my transmission would magically slip out of park and go into reverse, on many occasion, but i wasnt concerned with that as i was tearin that shit up we were in taco bell parking lot LMAO

i was sitting down in the back seat and she was ridin me and all thesudden we started rolling and i was parked on kind of a hill lmao omg so i threw the bitch off me leaped from the back seat... to the brake pedal slammed the break with my hand and it stopped i put it in park, mind you to jump from the back seat to the brake pedal left my ass wide open in the air, next thing i know the bitch is sucking my nuts (she was a FREAK <3 highschool)


end of story.

ok, I laughed at that one, nicely done Money




Ok, I had actually typed out what happened to me, read it back once and instantly deleted it.

[Jeenyuss]

let's see it nickname.

[Scurvy]

let's see it nickname.

agreed. does this thread include craziest places? or do we need a separate one for that?

[Pummel]

Girlfriend and I had just started the tango for two and suddenly the neighbor knocks on the front door. No big deal, I thought I had locked. We keep going, and then she comes in! "Helloooooo, anybody home?" and the neighbor starts walking around the house!

Lesson learned, lock the door.

I'd fuckin kill my neighbour.

[PolluX]

I know this girl. We never were an item. But when we saw eachother we always were talking about sex and stuff. So one night (that's 7 years ago) when I was 17, I walked her home after some heavy drinking and smoking. In front of her house we started to talk about sex and suddenly (I still don't know why I did it, never regretted it tho ) I ask her what color her bra is. So she takes off her vest and shows me her bra (it was in the summer fyi) I start massaging her breasts and next thing I know we're kissing and having sex in front of her house in the grass!
Well, this girl is a horny little freak so after awhile she takes me to the side of her house where there was a swing. She tells me to sit on the swing, take her on my lap and I start rocking the swing a little (It wasn't that good, the swing hurted my ass a bit :-p , but still at 5.00 am it must have been a funny sight).

O yea, next morning she called me (ffs I almost thought she called me to tell me she was pregnant, I didn't knew better back then...) to tell me she had antbites all over her ass and legs, apparently when I fucked her in the grass she laid on top of an antsnest.. :-)

Btw I think her brother play(s)(ed) this game too, so maybe I should watch out what I am saying

Conclusion: I would do her again! anytime :wub:. Her bf is a stupid italian wannabe badass and 6 months ago me and her saw eachother again. Lol! I think she didn't even payed one minute attention to him. And sex we talked about, sigh, if it wasn't for the bf (she told me there) we would have had sex right there... But I don't want to be an item with her, she's cool and stuff, but just as a fuck-buddy.

O yeah that reminds me of this girl I am 'dating' now. I knew her for a few days and we were talking about prisonbreak. So I tell her I have all the episodes of PB. She goes like 'Omg I get so horny of that michael scoffield'. So I invite her over to watch PB together since she is a big 'fan' of PB. Well, we saw eachother every sundayevening, (cuz she had to work from tuesday till saturday and I had training everyday except sundays) for the last 3 months... and we just finished season one! The girl is a freak, she loves to have sex and she is quite good at it (she eats everything... $). I love having fuck-buddies!!!

_/\o_ FUCK-BUDDY _o/\_

[PolluX]

apparently nobody on these forums has sex, and that a crying ass shame.

Sounds like you just become a man and want to boast about it ^-^

[Kim]

THat's grade A pollux!

[Ilya]

so i was having sex with this bitch

and i was doing all the work for like 10 minutes and finally she came

and i was like ok my turn, make me cum

and then she logged off.

i feel your pain, nick