Originally posted by PaulOakenfold
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I think you have a hard time stepping out of yourself. You were the voice of power on the squad. Sometimes, unnecessarily, for what seemed like the littlest of reasons, you would snap. I mean you went ballistic. Albeit, you never treated me with anything I thought I didn't deserve... and I respected you for your experience. However for guys like Kolar, Shade, Mog, Vatican & Fit, you'd drill right into them & drove them right off the squad.
We had already dissolved once & reunited because of your uncertainty with your own self. You seemed to be riding an emotional rollercoaster to which you'd vent your own frustrations on members of the squad. When you left RB, it was after you had chased those mentioned above away. From what i can remember the day you and kolar had it out, the day he left, he had just said on the squad chat that he had an offer to join another squad and turned it down. You snapped, made it a loyalty issue, and drove him off the squad. It seemed like, IMHO, that once a squad member got to a pretty decent level, like a father never satisfied with a talented son, you'd find something stupid to rag on him about. With Fit, he didn't want to be asscap anymore and you couldn't accept it, so you drove him off.
When you left the squad, it was after we were just starting to look pretty decent and then began to get a bit inactive because of your inactivity. Maybe you were on vacation, but when you managed to show up, for some reason, you snapped on a few and drove those forementioned off the squad....
So it looked to me like you were setting us up to dissolve again. I didn't want it to dissolve. I wanted to get those guys you drove off back on the squad and I wanted you to.... and I think my PM to you was something like, "Shit or get off the pot." because I had just bought a domain name for the squad, bought a site from 'TWSites', made a webpage, etc. I had invested a lot into the squad and I didn't want to see it all for naught. I wanted you to either straighten up & step it up as a leader, or step aside. You, at the time, seemed quite content to turn it over, but I think after a couple weeks, you were kicking yourself in the ass.
In short, no one stabbed you in the back. You stabbed yourself.
I'm sorry you feel the way you do Paul -_-
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