whiz quiz

[DoTheFandango]

OR A FEW BLUNTS~!!11 yea!!

[Jerome Scuggs]

i didn't read any posts, so pardon if i re-peat anything.

i clean up my piss the natural way.

if you have a week or so to prep:

-work out for 4 days. this raises metabolism, burns stuff out of your fatty tissue.

-drink alot of water for 2 days. this then washes out the stuff your fatty tissue expelled.

-2 days before the test, start eating alot of red meat.

-dilute your piss with water, of course. problem: they analyze for a chemical called creatin, i believe. if it's low, it means you tried diluting. incidentally, creatin is found in red meat. so if you eat alot of meat, you should be able to raise the creatin enough to pass.

i totally fucking forgot this, but apparently creatin is the main ingredient of...guess...creatine. so instead of eating alot of meat, perhaps you could just go to GNC or another health-supplements store and just pack on the creatine. but i'm not sure if you could over-do it and make it obvious that you're trying to boost creatin levels, so i guess i should see how much creatin is in X amount of meat, and then spoon it out and take it.

down here, most of the kids who do drugs are, ironically, sons of law officials. and generally, the more high-up the father, the more drugged out, the son. my dad's a probation officer, and i'm just an occasional stoner, my friend alex's dad is a circuit judge and he deals coke. but my friends get caught alot so we are always working on no-bullshit ways to pass these things. we've even bought home drug test kits to "practice", but we haven't done so in awhile.

edit: i just read above, and i agree with wutang420, perhaps you shouldn't work out. i'm sure different metabolisms alter the amount of time needed to actually burn out the THC. but for future reference: perhaps if you worked out on a weekly basis - like, an hour of good workout 2 days a week, followed by a 1-day dilution - you could theoretically keep relatively clean piss, so when crunch-time came you'd be easier off. i think i might actually do this, to a point - i'm stuck with the ONLY gym teacher in the world who actually thinks gym isn't a blowoff class, so i work up a good sweat everyday and then drink lots of water, because i have gym at noon and that's when temperature hits 95 degrees. i only smoke on the weekends, but i usually stay stoned the ENTIRE weekend, so i guess i'm a lightweight - but hey, it works for me.

[Facetious]

i actually did get the creatine for that purpose. apparently it takes 24-48 hours to turn into creatin or whatever so im going to try to delay the test past tomorrow. the problem is i got a liquid that i dont know if its a 5 hour liquid or if it cleanses you out permanently, so i dont know when to take it. hopefully my system will just be fairly clean to begin with and the 50 bucks i spent at gnc will just be icing on the cake.

[Subjugation]

I like the idea of taking those home tests. I haven't done that before. I wonder if they're anywhere close to substituting for the lab stuff.

And speaking of buying the home tests, they did the Poppyseeds-testing-positive-for-opium thing on Mythbusters, and it is totally fucking true.

[Spiderman]

face, personally i suggest the condom bit. its ur best bet and should be ur first resort.. wear a hoodie and somehow tape it inside the hoodie

if they do look at you or if theres security cameras in the bathroom, just piss..

i've read through all the stuff written.. from a personal trainer's perspective, because ur body composition is different than others, ya it might take a while longer for you to do all the flushing... dont worry, you should be safe either way.. since you have stayed away for a week and still have another week to take the test..

[HeavenSent]

I'm an experienced stoner of the drug testing dilemma.
I've passed 2 tests in the last 10 years of my employment.

The first test i passed.. It was 3m in the afternoon and i was smoking a joint. My temp agent calls and says i got a new assignment but they want me to take a drug test either at 5m that day.. or the following day in the morning. I still had the joint in my hand while talking to the temp agent. I said that i would take the test in the morning at 8:am.
So, as soon as i finished my smoke, I started drinking liquids until with each glass, i'd piss a glass worth. Also, with each glass, I put about 15 drops of Golden Seal - Yellow Root Extract - Tincture.
I went to bed after 2 gallons at 10m and woke up at 6:30 and continued the drinking of liquids all the way to the clinic.
Afterwards, the nurse made a comment like, "..Looks like you drink a lot of water." I just nodded and waited for her to give me the results to take to my new assignment.

10 years later, my present assignment, the employer wanted to hire me.
I work 3rd shift and the test would be in the morning following my shift. So during my shift i bought a 12oz. soda, drank it. I figured that I would have to drink a 12oz can of water every 10 minutes during my shift. So I made a quick checklist with the time & amount of cans i'd drink. After about 3-4 hours of drinking, i was steadily pissing a can for every can i drank. I was also putting about 15 drops of Golden Seal in the can which, after 3-4 hours was making me nautious. So i slowed down and practically took a break from all the drinking for the next 90 min. or couple hours. For the last couple hours of my shift i drank more water and juice with 15 drops in each drink until i was pissing again for every can i drank.

After my shift, i took the test and went home. On the way i bought a home test kit and passed it.... Hurray! The home test was identical to the clinical test... only smaller utensils. Work was only gonna let me know if i failed.. and that would be "See ya later."

I think the trick is to have the liquids go right through. You body is only gonna take what it needs.. If your "cup overfloweth" it's the overflow that will be tested... and that's gonna be what you just drank with your body saying, "Ok Ok enuf already, there's no room for more, just send it straight through."

Wha La

[Money]

once again, the easy solution, ready-clean..

[Jerome Scuggs]

i'm assuming you took the test today, if so, what'd you do?

[Ilya]

you stoner guys are the reason there are kids dying of thirst in ethiopia

[Money]

lmao ilya, that and cotton mouth, itsa killer

[Facetious]

didnt have to take it today. looks like theres a good chance i wont ever have to take it for another two weeks and by then i will actually be clean. ha. drank 7 liters of water today though, im going to keep doing that for another couple of days just in case.

[WuTang420]

SWEET! the only sure way after all is time

[HeavenSent]

once again, the easy solution, ready-clean..

What is it... and how does it work? ...and how fast does it take? ...specifically, how long will i have to abstain from my weed?
I like the last minute cram method so i don't have to give up the hooche for very long.
I will kill ppl if i don't have my doobage for very long... that is after i get over the initial withdrawals of flu-like symptoms.
Weed keeps me at social norm levels... It's a way for me to say to 'the system,' FU i'm not gonna take your over-priced, federally regulated antidote to the il that ails me. I'm gonna get my own witch doctor and take what I believe helps me the best. DAME MI MOTA!"

[ZeUs!!]

Closed on request as the requestee (is that a word?) accurately pointed out that talking about this is about as legal as bit torrents. You all seem to know who to pm if you feel the need