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There comes a time in every man's life when he must decide.
Sometimes, the decision is simple, such as "Should I have crunchberries or grapefruit for breakfast?" Of course I should take the grapefruit. I fucking can't stand crunchberries or that condescending piece of shit, The Captain.
Other times, though, the right choice isn't as clear. We have reached a decisive moment in that of these, these hallowed halls of Trench Wars forumity. With these grave times in mind, it is with the greatest pride and honor that I am formally entering the race for Forum Admin 2006.
But really, who IS ConcreteSchlyrd? I can tell you this much: he's equal parts man, machine, and asian superhero. Pull up a chair, sit on it backwards, and I'll tell you a little bit about my background.
I was born the youngest child of seven in a small town outside of Algona, Iowa. The details of my childhood are fairly inconsequential, so I'll spare you the boring details. Needless to say, I was a precocious child who spent his days working my way back and forth between the libraries and crack dens of my quaint little village. In 1996, at the tender age of 17, discarded my childish toys and went to futher my education at The University of Iowa. It was in my time studying there that I met two young men who would change my future forever.
On the steps of The Union Bar on the night of the 18th of September (the year of our lord, 1999), I became fascinated with the political posturing of a man I would come to know as Divine Rides. He spoke with the fervor of a Southern Baptist and the eloquence of a dandy fop. At his right hand, shouting "AMEN!" and "PRAISE BE, BROTHER!" was a man of equal stature. RogerMexico stoked the crowd and shook his fists violently at passersby. At the end of the night, the two pulled me aside:
"Have you heard about the wars?" asked Div. I was puzzled. I knew there had not been any rumblings of war for some time now. "No," I responded.
"There's rumors of total war... everyone's talking about it, but no one wants to bring it into the public view." Div whispered, looking around to make sure we weren't being overheard.
"Where at?" I asked.
RogerMexico touched his hand upon Div's shoulder, looked at him with the seriousness of a thousand Kevin Federlines, and slowly raised an extended index finger towards the stars. "Up there," he said. "Subspace."
We spent the rest of the night playing chinese checkers and doing blow off of hookers asses. The next morning, I signed up for the first of not one, not two, but five consecutive tours of duty as an officer in the Subspace Warz.
Here I am at the end of my fourth tour of duty in 2004. My last official rank was "Captain Shitpants of the SS Supertricycle" During my time as an officer of the Pallies brigade (104th Armored Fuck You division), I hob-nobbed with the best of them, and saw many good men meet their maker in the cockpit of a spider, shark and warbird. (Rest in peace, JeDi*Knight.) I also was awarded many medals for my valor, heroism, and in one case, starting a campfire the fastest:
(Pictured left to right: Season 7 TWLB Runner Up (brookus cheats) Seal of Rainbow Pride, Season 5 TWLB-Cup Runner Up (Mantra cheats) Bronze Star of Ass-kickin', The Congressional Medallion of Trick-Turning)
Sometimes, the decision is simple, such as "Should I have crunchberries or grapefruit for breakfast?" Of course I should take the grapefruit. I fucking can't stand crunchberries or that condescending piece of shit, The Captain.
Other times, though, the right choice isn't as clear. We have reached a decisive moment in that of these, these hallowed halls of Trench Wars forumity. With these grave times in mind, it is with the greatest pride and honor that I am formally entering the race for Forum Admin 2006.
But really, who IS ConcreteSchlyrd? I can tell you this much: he's equal parts man, machine, and asian superhero. Pull up a chair, sit on it backwards, and I'll tell you a little bit about my background.
I was born the youngest child of seven in a small town outside of Algona, Iowa. The details of my childhood are fairly inconsequential, so I'll spare you the boring details. Needless to say, I was a precocious child who spent his days working my way back and forth between the libraries and crack dens of my quaint little village. In 1996, at the tender age of 17, discarded my childish toys and went to futher my education at The University of Iowa. It was in my time studying there that I met two young men who would change my future forever.
On the steps of The Union Bar on the night of the 18th of September (the year of our lord, 1999), I became fascinated with the political posturing of a man I would come to know as Divine Rides. He spoke with the fervor of a Southern Baptist and the eloquence of a dandy fop. At his right hand, shouting "AMEN!" and "PRAISE BE, BROTHER!" was a man of equal stature. RogerMexico stoked the crowd and shook his fists violently at passersby. At the end of the night, the two pulled me aside:
"Have you heard about the wars?" asked Div. I was puzzled. I knew there had not been any rumblings of war for some time now. "No," I responded.
"There's rumors of total war... everyone's talking about it, but no one wants to bring it into the public view." Div whispered, looking around to make sure we weren't being overheard.
"Where at?" I asked.
RogerMexico touched his hand upon Div's shoulder, looked at him with the seriousness of a thousand Kevin Federlines, and slowly raised an extended index finger towards the stars. "Up there," he said. "Subspace."
We spent the rest of the night playing chinese checkers and doing blow off of hookers asses. The next morning, I signed up for the first of not one, not two, but five consecutive tours of duty as an officer in the Subspace Warz.
Here I am at the end of my fourth tour of duty in 2004. My last official rank was "Captain Shitpants of the SS Supertricycle" During my time as an officer of the Pallies brigade (104th Armored Fuck You division), I hob-nobbed with the best of them, and saw many good men meet their maker in the cockpit of a spider, shark and warbird. (Rest in peace, JeDi*Knight.) I also was awarded many medals for my valor, heroism, and in one case, starting a campfire the fastest:
(Pictured left to right: Season 7 TWLB Runner Up (brookus cheats) Seal of Rainbow Pride, Season 5 TWLB-Cup Runner Up (Mantra cheats) Bronze Star of Ass-kickin', The Congressional Medallion of Trick-Turning)
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