Ending a relationship

[the_paul]

Just keep yourself busy, too much down time where you're just sitting around not really doing anything is always going to lead your thoughts back to her at first. Pick up a new hobby or start working out or something. Chart your progress, just anything really to keep your mind focused on the task(s) at hand. Worked for me, anyway

[kthx]

Here is some advice for down the road, never let the girl wear the pants in the relationship, make sure you both know from the start that you are not the bitch and you won't put up with her being a cunt. It sounds to me like you were the bitch in that relationship, and no girl likes having to be the man because their man is a huge gaping vagina. It just isn't natural. Anyways, don't do shit like asking her where she wants to eat, tell her where you are going, tell her that when your watching a football game you don't want to be disturbed with stupid gossip that happened at her job over the course of the week, if she annoys you leave and go get hammered and then blame her for forcing you to leave. These things and more are the basis of a strong natural relationship between a male and female.

[kthx]

Oh and don't date a girl that was 16 and dated a 27 year old, thats a serious mental problem huge fuckup nuclear explosion waiting to happen.

[kthx]

Oh and on a third note, she despised you because you were too much of a pussy, you didn't go out with friends and to parties because you wanted to be with her always or some shit? What the fuck were you thinking, why didn't you just tell her you were going out and just ignore the annoying "Im saying its ok for you to go out but I am actually going to be really angry later on and throw this up in your face" voice. When something like that happens, when you tell her you are going out, you damn well better fucking go out and let her sit alone stewing in her own juices.

I can't stress this enough, being a pussy doesn't make for a good relationship, the women can't be the alpha male in the group, it isn't natural and will always end up in you being made fun of and humiliated by the weaker sex. Grow a fucking pair already.

[Exalt]

Here's the problem with all advice from these types of things:

The best advice is the thing you do NOT want to hear.

Time heals EVERYTHING. You need time, and until then, you will feel like shit and be depressed for a while. It's natural.

The best thing to do is to keep up your social life as much as possible. DO NOT withdraw from everyone and play "addictive games" all day like telcat said. That is the worst thing you can do. It will just make your depression worse, because you need to be around people. It is the only thing that will help.

After 3 years, you are going to feel like the whole "dating game" and "new relationship games" are stupid, and they are, but once you get back into the swing of things it becomes fun too.

Anyways, the best thing to do is to stay single for a while. You will hate it at first, and then you will realize it is actually pretty fun for a long time. Once you get that urge to be with someone again, then go ahead. Til then, stay single and enjoy living life the way YOU want to live it. You have no one telling you what to do anymore, and there is no one telling you that you can't go out, or do this or that. Do whatever you want, and enjoy the freedom.

[Nickname]

Dunno if anybody said this yet - I didn't read the thread - but my guess is you miss the routine. In a way it's a lot like somebody died, you had a way of doing things, and now it's changed. You used to have to stop and say 'are we doing this, will we go here, i wonder if shes pissed at me' etc, taking into account what she wanted, and now you don't. After 3 years, you were simply USED to being in a relationship, and now that you're not you find you have a lot of extra time. It'll pass.

[Mr. Peanuts]

Thanks kthx, you know despite your keyboard warrior style abruptness, I appreciate what you've said, it made me laugh - and laughter is all good for the mind.

She definitely did wear the trousers. She was older than me and while I was studying, she had a pretty high flying career so automatically I felt inadequate, I suppose that transpired naturally through the course of the relationship. I need to find an equal, not somebody who's going to be condescending all the time.

Oh and, I don't plan on dating this new girl, however I am going back for another piece tomorrow, she's studying massage therapy and what she can do with her hands is fucking amazing.

Whilst it does seem that I didn't party while I was with her, this isn't the case - I did go to quite a few parties/nights out, but there were lots of occasions where she would try and stop me and was successful in doing so. Emotional blackmail, aggression, it's not nice to see someone you care about in distress over something - so I naturally just let her win. Also when my mates would have a great night while I was unable to be there, that was a huge kick in the pants and really got me down.

Also that "Im saying its ok for you to go out but I am actually going to be really angry later on and throw this up in your face" bit. That did happen a few times, but usually she'd just come out and say "I don't want you to go and if you do you're in a whole world of shit". That's what she was like.

Am I fucking glad to be out of that now. Phew.

Nickname - that's what I originally diagnosed it as, just a shock to the system. Suddenly I have heaps of time on my hands and I just feel like a huge part of my life has been taken away leaving an empty void. It will fill in time. I have lots of hobbies to keep me going and now I can concentrate on them.

You know what though, today I feel awesome, I totally feel like my old self. Maybe it's the promise of some action tomorrow night that's doing it, but whatever it is, feels good man.

Thanks Trench Wars. I knew you'd be there.

[Mr. Peanuts]

B-b-but Operation Flashpoint 2 is so fucking awesome! I've been playing that with 3 other mates and it's all good. I only ever play socially, not by myself so that's good.

I can't wait to get into the swing of single life again, I do have fond memories of being 16-18 going clubbing and meeting loads of new girls every night. It's something I'd like to get into again.

Thanks again, for all replies.

[Cops]

Step 1) Don't listen to a word Tel Cat says, and for the most part avoid the advice of any female on this forum.

Step 3) Profit

[Cops]

B-b-but Operation Flashpoint 2 is so fucking awesome! I've been playing that with 3 other mates and it's all good. I only ever play socially, not by myself so that's good.

I can't wait to get into the swing of single life again, I do have fond memories of being 16-18 going clubbing and meeting loads of new girls every night. It's something I'd like to get into again.

Thanks again, for all replies.

Humans aren't generally happy, you'll soon realize that being in a relationship is more appealing than being single, and when you're in a relationship (a bad one at least) you'll realize that the single life is more appealing. I've noticed many people go through cycles that rotate from being with someone to fucking around based on them always seeing a better opportunity around the corner, or you know dating someone who resembles Satan.

Maybe we're suppose to go through these phases. I know that when you find someone who you really care about that you stop thinking about if things could possibly be better if you were not committed or you were with someone else, because you are content. I don't understand our fascination with this idea of happiness, I've felt joy and don't consider myself pessimistic but I know that I'd rather be consistent with my emotions and feel okay in my skin rather than have these severe ups and gradual lows. Take some time, you'll settle back into your skin and learn how to occupy your time without the girlfriend. It'll be lonely, but that's life.

Just take it from someone who has had several years of bad relationships, whoring yourself out might be seem like fun in the short run but after awhile you'll get back on track and start looking again. Just make sure you don't fuck so many people that you start to feel scuzzy, it's not a great feeling. Also, I don't know about you but one night stands can be fun, I'm not disputing that but steady sex wins hands down.

[Exalt]

also, stop talking about her, let her go... get her out of your mind, its the first step

stop worrying about what she's doing, or about your past relationship or what went wrong or went right or anything like that...

point is, it wasn't meant to be, and you already said you are better off without her... so keep that in mind and don't even worry about it

Quickest way to get over someone is to get over them... its a literal thing... once you forget about them and realize you don't need them to live your life and enjoy it, you will already have gotten over her

the time it takes to get over everything is overall on you, and nothing else... doesn't matter what you do, but if you keep thinking about her and talking about her, it will never stop

[Galleleo]

Holy shit, I am so unlike most guys.

[Ilya]

got 99 problems and they're all bitches

amirite e-fellas

[soup]

Holy shit, I am so unlike most guys.

that's because you are GAY

[Xog]

got 99 problems cuz they all owe me money

amirite IlyaZ