Ending a relationship

[Mr. Peanuts]

Hey guys, thought I'd come on and share my pain with you.

Last week I ended it with my girlfriend of three years. Since then, I've been out partying with my mates in a different University town, had a one nighter (purely for rebound/medicinal/ego reasons). So I've been having a great time, and love spending all my new found time with my mates.

But the days are so bloody hard. I end up waking up, not being able to eat all day and I don't feel like working. The thing is I haven't shed a tear, I really feel no emotion to my ex, I am 110% better off without her. (This means I can backtrack 10% and I'd still be sure as hell). She was constantly putting me down, a vindictive, controlling, sly, cold bitch. I have now come to accept that the majority of women are like this.

So despite my lack of emotion (that's another thing she used to put me down over, bitch.) why am I unable to eat or sleep? Shock to the system perhaps?

I sit here at lunch with a small beef pie in front of me and I feel sick looking at it. I haven't even had breakfast.

So I've come here, SSCU Trench Wars Spaceship Game Forums, to ask for advice about this, I figure there's a lot of you and like me, you're not all kids anymore. What can I do, brothers?

In return, will post pics of the pie.

TIA

[T3l Ca7]

Companionship maybe ... humans are social animals. We need to hang around with other people sometimes. You might not be in love with her, but maybe you were attached to her.

Do you have other people you can stand and hang around a lot with? That might solve the problem. Failing that, try heaps of new addictive games :fear:

Stay away from alcohol/drugs ... those will make things worse in the long run. <_<

[Sube]

Change - as a race we dont like change....time heals everything!

[Mr. Peanuts]

Companionship maybe ... humans are social animals. We need to hang around with other people sometimes. You might not be in love with her, but maybe you were attached to her.

Do you have other people you can stand and hang around a lot with? That might solve the problem. Failing that, try heaps of new addictive games :fear:

Stay away from alcohol/drugs ... those will make things worse in the long run. <_<

But, I don't want another relationship. Not for a long time. But yeah I see what you are saying, I'd just like to get over this as quick as possible.

I've been mad texting this girl I slept with on Tuesday night, she's in a similar situation, except she was with her ex for five years. For a 21 year old that's a crazy amount of time, she was 16 when she got with him, and he was 27. Maybe it's a bad thing that I'm texting her so much, I think I get too close to people too quickly, despite the clash inside me that I don't want another relationship.

Alcohol has been helping tbh, I feel awesome when I'm just getting wasted with my mates. Tuesday night was awesome, my mate lives with 6 other girls in his University halls (dorms), he's one of only two lads there (the other was out). All those girls had their mates round too, so there were five of us guys with like 15 girls, playing spin the bottle, and other obscure drinking games. We then hit the clubs and it was fucking crazy. Probably the best night out I've ever had.

It's just the daytime, I need something to get me through, take my mind off things and just start eating normally. Whilst I'd never turn to drink as a compulsion, I can see why some people drink just to get by.

[Doc Flabby]

I think the problem is you've actually started to believe all the BS you ex has been telling you. The feeling you can't eat or do anything *is* an emotion, its the feeling of loss, its not an unusual feeling at all...especially after an abusive relationship...

So I've been having a great time, and love spending all my new found time with my mates.

You should have been spending time with them anyway!!! If your partner is trying take you away from your friends, or from things you enjoy doing...they need to go, its your life, equally her life is hers to live how she pleases. Never accept any kind of emotional blackmail. I've dumped girls in the past purely because of them trying to pull this shit on me. "you don't see me enough", "i don't like your friends", "if you don't stop doing xxx(playing 2d spaceship game) ill stop xxx", "come and see me instead of seeing your friends (despite her knowing you've planned this night out for weeks)". Any of this shit in future, don't put up with it, dump her!

I have now come to accept that the majority of women are like this.

Actually very few women are like this, this is relatively rare. But you should now be well equipped to avoid them in future.

The lesson here is, like a subspace squad captain, who has recruited a disruptive player or doublesquadder, is to evaluate potential GF more thoroughly in future, maybe even contact their previous captains and team-mates Or you can follow the recruiting policy of a squad like $flabby$ you just hire anyone who will play and wants to join :wub: But don't rush into anything, you don't make a new player an assistant or captain straight out, they need to prove themselves first.

I went though a break up last summer of a long-term relationship. The pain hurts, especially when you find out what they've also been up to (mine cheated on me). Seriously though, there are so many women out there, enjoy exploring them

[Mr. Peanuts]

Cheers Doc.

"come and see me instead of seeing your friends (despite her knowing you've planned this night out for weeks)".

It's funny, that's what led me to finish with her, because I was going on this night out on Tuesday. Told her about it for ages, and she turned to me and said "I don't want you to go" I asked why, and all she said was "Because I don't want you to, is that not a good enough reason?"

I told her I was going, I was adamant about it.

Then it was the blackmail. "I can't believe you're choosing a night out over your relationship". Bam, there it is. I had to end it after that. I've been miserable with her for the past year and a half anyway. Lost some friends through her as well. Now I sympathise with them, I know why they didn't like her. Stereotypical scouse mouthy girl.

I've taken a bite.


Looks disgusting. Tastes awesome.

[Xog]

sounded like wifey material :P

[soup]

You'll get over it peanuts.


But please don't listen to people like Telcat and Material girl, seriously don't.

[Epinephrine]

I dunno, I thought telcat had some pretty good advice.

When you've been going out with someone for a long time, you end up getting attached to the idea that *someone else* is out there for better or worse. Once that's gone, and you have nothing to fill the void, then you will feel empty. This is true in any situation, whether it's a job, an obsession or whatever. Even if you know it's bad for your or you hate it, once it ends you will feel empty.

The best thing to do is not to drown your sorrows in things which are ultimately bad for you for long (sure go out drinking a few nights, but don't make that your new thing), but it is to fill that void with something healthy.

Whether that is focusing on school/work, finding new projects, or just re-engaging with all of your lost friends and hanging out with them, there's a lot you can do and eventually you will be fine.

As for other girls, the rebound time is probably the worst time to find a new girl. Most potential partners always look vastly better in the beginning then when you get to really know them, and added with the emotional aspect of your emptyness you will have an even lower sensitivity to realizing the faults of any potential partner. As such I'd stick away from finding other girls until you're back to normal, lest you be screwed over again.

[Xog]

As for other girls, the rebound time is probably the worst time to find a new girl. Most potential partners always look vastly better in the beginning then when you get to really know them, and added with the emotional aspect of your emptyness you will have an even lower sensitivity to realizing the faults of any potential partner. As such I'd stick away from finding other girls until you're back to normal, lest you be screwed over again.

And thou He sayeth the word.

[Squeezer]

at least she didn't cheat on you and cause some dude to try to kill himself :flowers:

seriously good luck, it gets better. You don't think you'll ever meet a girl that is kind and likes the same things you do, but you will. blah blah blah.

[Mr. Peanuts]

Sound advice there Epi, cheers.

Rebound time - I suppose I need to at least start recovering before I move onto dating again, and then recover completely before I start even considering another relationship. I mean the sex is all good, and I'm not looking for anything more than that at the moment.

I mean the girl I ended up going with was absolutely gorgeous and just showed me I still have it in me which was a real high point, but I ended up crashing down hard the day after the day after when I woke up at home.

I just feel I have lost a lot of critical time in my life. I mean I had only just started University when I met her, and now I've only just finished University when we split up. I've missed so many parties and drunken nights I'm actually seriously considering going back to Uni for a different undergraduate course next year, JUST so I can have another shot at the social life.

Thanks again Epi.

[genocidal]

I dunno, I thought telcat had some pretty good advice.

This, credit where credit is due.

[404 Not Found]

Telcats great advice --> "try heaps of new addictive games"

Great perhaps for someone wanting to shelter themselves and withdrawl from a social life. addictive games, Really?

Just get over it and it will fade. Ya never forget your 1st real adult relationship, and perhaps this was not the 1st, but they all fade in time.

Don't look for a replacement and don't rush into anything. When you least look for anything, especially a relationship, they seem to happen.

Frankly, I think Telcat could use a few shots of tequila or a few bong hits of some good green.

heaps of addictive games...hah!

[Ephemeral]

A famous baseball pitcher once wanted to end it with an overbearing lady. His friends, knowing she was shallow and only really interested in dating a high profile celebrity, told him to take her to a high society restaurant. If he were to break it off there they figured it would be less of an issue.

So he meets her for lunch and after ordering he told her he wanted to break it off. She jumps up and screams, “I don’t care asshole, all you wanted to do was fuck, fuck fuck!!!!” and stomps out of the room. Speechless, the guy just sits there. Suddenly, she come flying back into the room and says, “And you weren’t even good at that!!!!”

Sorry no advice, just thought the story might make you laugh.