osama bin laden is dead

[Epinephrine]

Back on the topic of this thread, possibly the best spoof article I've read in a VERY long time:

http://www.galacticempiretimes.com/2011/05/09/galaxy/outer-rim/obi-wan-kenobi-is-killed.html

[gran guerrero]

Hi and welcome to __________ university would all with taqwa please continue onto Smith Hall, all others please just follow the arrows painted on the ground! (leads to a cliff)

funny, but I'm in Florida, I would redirect them to a crocodile infested everglade

[paradise!]

sigh.. I was hoping you would say 42

Anyways, I got hired to be Orientation Leader for my school. Shitty schedule with hardly any work that can give me some serious money, but I think it will look great on the resume.

Hi and welcome to __________ university would all with taqwa please continue onto Smith Hall, all others please just follow the arrows painted on the ground! (leads to a cliff)

[Vatican Assassin]

That doesn't surprise me. You seem impressionable. And don't say all words aside at the start of a new paragraph you doofus.

ur gay

[gran guerrero]

There is none.

I forgot one thing. Talk in class but don't be THAT guy. Don't be defensive, be inquisitive. They appreciate that much more than the guy who flaunts his shit. Share opinions with questions attached and try to connect information while you're speaking.

But don't be a douche.

sigh.. I was hoping you would say 42

Anyways, I got hired to be Orientation Leader for my school. Shitty schedule with hardly any work that can give me some serious money, but I think it will look great on the resume.

[Squeezer]

*an none.

[Squeezer]

There is none.

I forgot one thing. Talk in class but don't be THAT guy. Don't be defensive, be inquisitive. They appreciate that much more than the guy who flaunts his shit. Share opinions with questions attached and try to connect information while you're speaking.

But don't be a douche.

[gran guerrero]

Oh Deep Thought, what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

[Squeezer]

Get friendly with the faculty. Try in class and make an effort. Let them see your face and hear your thoughts and try to get them interested in what you have to say whenever you raise your hand. They wont mind if you're wrong and they definitely wont remember you if you're quiet. Later, when you ask for rec letters, they'll know you and be more willing to put in an hour or two to write a good letter. Other than that, do well and make sure to complete all the reading. Keep a couple papers around to polish for when you need to submit a sample. Get good grades, give a fuck.

That was how I managed. I can answer more specific questions too if you'd like.

[gran guerrero]

SERIOUSLY






























































































































srsly...

[gran guerrero]

srsly though im an engrish major as well

[gran guerrero]

Can I has some hints for future college success? Am stuck at level 4 battling an spaghetti monster!!!

[Squeezer]

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ENGLISH MAJOR

Did I mention that I was accepted into Grad school? It was a occasion for celebration.

[Squeezer]

Damage control aisle 911

sometimes I wish this community wasn't so cutthroat.

it's an shame given we're such a open minded group

[gran guerrero]

Damage control aisle 911