Trench Wars Recipe Collection

[kthx]

I actually don't have one. By the way, who the fuck set general discussion new posts to not be seen when you click new posts? Some fucktards messing with the forums again.

[Crescent Seal]

allow a good Old Fashioned recipe...tried ones online and it always ends up bad

used makers mark as the bourbon lol

[kthx]

Oh yeah

Kthx's Fucking Legit Mojito's

Two pitchers
One handle of a good WHITE rum
about 20oz of fresh key lime juice (yes its a fuckton of keylimes, but trust me.. has to be key limes here)
Two lbs of turbinado sugar (sugar in the raw but more coarse)
A veritable fuckton of mint leaves (probably need about 100 or so)
One Gallon bottled spring water
1 Liter Club Soda
Extra sugar and limes for the rim and the drink.

First off, you mix the sugar in a bowl with the mint and muddle the mint to get the oils extracted.
Keep the water to the side, add that last to personal taste.
Next, you add half of the ingredients into one pitcher, half into the other pitcher.
Once everything is mixed, it should be a brownish colored simple syrup that fills up about half of each pitcher (maybe a little more depending on pitcher size) it should have a very fragrant mint and lime smell, and should be very thick and sweet.
Add the water until the mixture is the desired consistency and sweetness.
Next, use a lime wedge to coat the rim of the glass before dipping it in the extra turbinado sugar to coat the rim, put a lime wedge on the glass, pour the liquid into the glass over ice, and garnish with one fresh mint leaf.

Enjoy.

[kthx]

Now to get rid of that cancer, since the 4th is coming up I will toss out a few recipes I have been hammering out recently.

Kthx's Tex-Mex Spicy Guacamole

3 Large Haas Avacados
Half a red onion (minced)
5 cloves of garlic (minced)
Juice from 2 key limes
1/2 teaspoon smoked sea salt
1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder
1/2 teaspoon ancho powder

Mix everything together, fresh tasting guacamole with a little bit of kick, favorite among friends. Make sure the veggies are cut extremely small but not liquified in a food processor, you want to several bits of onion and garlic in every bite, enough where you actually feel the snap when you bite into them.

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Homemade Tzatziki Sauce

My wife is Lebanese so is always craving this so I sorta used a few recipes as a guide but made it my own. Tastes really good with plain grilled chicken and brown rice, also pretty healthy.

2 cups of greek yogurt (plain)
One tablespoon fresh dill (finely cut, must be fresh dill)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon coarsely ground cracked pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil (not virgin, you want the flavor)
Half a large cucumber peeled and minced, again you want this cut up by hand, not in a food processor so you can get the small bites of cucumber.
I like to add a small amount of red pepper, but thats up to you, it isn't really traditional but I prefer to Texas the fuck out of stuff.

Mix everything together and let sit for an hour or two so the flavors can combine.

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Honey Jalapeno Cornbread

For this instead of typing out a cornbread recipe just find one you like, generally the ones on the back of the cornmeal box or bag are about as good as you are going to get.

Make sure you use REAL BUTTER and not margarine for one, that literally ruins the recipe.
Double the sugar the recipe tells you to use.
Add about half a cup of honey.
3 jalapenos diced
3 serranos diced
1 sweet yellow onion diced

Add the veggies and honey to the original batter and mix up well, its going to look really chunk but thats fine, once the cornbread rises everything looks normal. This was a really popular dish I made as a side item for a crawfish boil my friends had, would go really well if anyone is planning on BBQing this weekend for the 4th and its easy to make, really cheap, and people will love it.

[kthx]

Congratulations on desecrating one of the few threads that has ever made it through the forums without being trolled. To celebrate this I will add another recipe to this hallowed thread.

Shadowmere Souffle

1 cup of kissing ass
1/2 cup of faking poll numbers
3/4 cup incompetence
1/2 tsp regret

Stir all ingredients in a bowl and bake at 350.

[Shadowmere]

I specialize in cooking food that is delicious

1. Kikkoman

[qan]

Lazy Man's Chicken of the Gods

I specialize in cooking food that is delicious and with minimal prep time and cleanup, the kind of thing you can walk away from and not ruin it.

This is about 5 minutes of work for very tasty chicken. It falls apart in your mouth, and has a lot of flavor.

Don't measure anything. That takes way too much time.

Things involved in the making of it
- Some number of whole (ideally boneless) chicken thighs, skin on
- Low-quality white wine or cooking sake (avoid cooking wine, as it's often flavored horribly)
- Soy sauce
- White vinegar or lemon juice
- Garlic or garlic powder (optional)
- Cooking oil
- Average everyday frying pan with a decent lid

Cook it like this

1. Heat the pan empty, medium heat, for a short time. Lick your finger and touch the pan. Sizzle yet? OK. Add a tiny amount of cooking oil. Wait for the oil to heat.
2. Place the chicken in the pan, skin-side down. Cover it because it'll splatter otherwise.
3. Turn up the heat a bit if you want. Hell, turn it down; I don't care. But what for? You're looking to fry the skin and release some of those nice savory oils in the skin, which will then permeate the chicken.
4. When the skin is slightly browned and there's now a bit of delicious oil in the pan, flip the chicken. Cook for a minute or so.
5. Add a fair bit of cooking wine/sake/some sort of booze. Enough to really drench those little bastards. Cook about 20-30 seconds.
6. Add a generous amount of vinegar. Less than the cooking wine, though. Maybe half a cup. Something like that. It depends on how much chicken there is, you know?
7. Add about the same amount of soy sauce, maybe a bit less. You can also use salt instead, but soy sauce has the umami/savory flavor which goes great with meat. Don't add too much! How much is too much? You'll know after you've added it. Don't use low-quality soy sauce! How is it low quality? Does it taste pretty bland, no complexity of flavor? Time to change your brand. Kikkoman isn't that expensive and it's pretty decent, though there's definitely much better out there.
8. Throw in the garlic. If you'd had any foresight you could have added it at the start, too, but let's face it, you started cooking this while reading it, and now you're here, so let's not curse fate. Just get on with it.
9. Bring to a light boil.
10. Cover and reduce heat to the lowest setting you can while still maintaining a very gentle simmer.

Come back in 20-30 minutes or whenever you happen to remember. It doesn't matter. It'll be fine. Flip it or don't about halfway through.

I suggest eating it by turning it skin-side down and picking off the meat. If you did it right, you shouldn't need a knife. It'll just come apart. I don't like chicken skin so I throw all that out, but it doesn't matter... you've gotten your fat content from the cooking method, and it will taste good enough without eating all that unnecessary stuff anyhow.

[Bioture]

Bio's middle-easternish spiced chicken. This is a recipe I make if I want to impress someone with my chicken. The mix of spices here will really smell up your kitchen/house, just as a warning. You can do the chicken on the grill too - direct heat to sear, then indirect heat to finish. You know all about that.

Either 4 chicken breasts (halved) or 6 thighs. You can use any chicken bits for this recipe.
For the mixture/rub:
1 tbs Chili powder
1 tbs paprika
1-2 tsp of the following (you can adjust this to taste): cumin, cinnamon, coriander, tumeric, curry powder, pepper.
1/2 cup of olive oil
2 tbs of lemon juice
2 tsp Adobo (more if you like salty food - can substitute salt)

Directions: Rinse chicken and dry. Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Rub mixture into chicken and let sit for about an hour (you can skip this, less flavor penetration though). You can either save the excess rub or dump it in with the chicken for extra drippings. Cook in oven 45-60 minutes until completely cooked. Serve chicken and drippings with rice.

[Zeebu]

drunken beans are pretty solid. its possible to make that vegetarian style.

[Zeebu]

lol thats why i asked. i enjoy making mushroom risotto, but thats a pretty involved process

i dont have any particular 'recipe' per se because i dont think i have ever made the same thing twice. same reason pgril said. i just kinda throw stuff around and taste as i go and modify accordingly.


for simplicity, my favorite vegetable is asparagus. grill that up and its vegetable candy. wash and prepare your asparagus, drizzle with olive oil then add salt and pepper. put it on the grill. thats about it. when i have cookouts, often i will grill that stuff first and let everyone snack on it while i then cook the rest of the food. its pretty awesome.

[Mantra-Slider]

I think Ive never really tried lentils that way thanks panda. I usually just make lentilsoup!

[Mantra-Slider]

how complex veggie you lookin to get. i dont really have to cook vegetarian as often anymore but i can still do it.

anyways, youre looking for some full scale recipes or just some good things to eat?

a mix perhaps. I cant say I am a very good chef so to tell me stuff like "make a risotto of asparagus and mushroom" might be a good and creative idea but I would still like a bit info of how to make it!
I really love risotto btw.

[gran guerrero]

American airlines needs to go die. That's your cue gran.

I do not acknowledge my line of work that is liberated of fiscal opportunity, madam. I humbly ask that thou present thine tits in a timely fashion, in which I will provide mine services. Good day.

[Pandagirl!]

I'm starting to see why my friends hate it when I give them my recipes. I really should start measuring things out rather than randomly throwing things in the pan

[Pandagirl!]

American airlines needs to go die. That's your cue gran.

SLUTTY BROWNIES

Get two premade mixes - chocolate chip cookies dough and brownie mix
Make the cookie dough according to instructions then add a little extra oil and water to make it more moist and sticky
Put it in the bottom of an 8x8 or 9x9 or some other brownie sized pan
COVER WITH OREOS
Make brownie mixture according to directions and pour on top
30 minutes at 350
It'll still be gooey in the middle but OMG THESE ARE SO GOOD